For many runners, myself included, quitting a race is a terrible sin. I don’t know of any runners who have only quit one race; runners who quit have generally quit lots of them.
It’s the proverbial slippery slope. Running hurts (at least if it‘s a fast pace,) and it’s always tempting to quit, but once that happens, a person realizes it’s an option, and that option really shouldn’t exist, because oftentimes, a person will be making that decision when he is in so much pain that he can’t think straight.
At Saturday’s cross country meet, my son had an asthma attack. He has to take on inhaler before he runs, and we’re not sure what happened because he said he took it, but I have been in the ER with him enough times to know how he looks when he’s reached the point of no return. And he was almost there.
At this point in his life, however, he knows his body really well, and I knew that if he thought he was really bad that he would drop out of the race. I knew I needed to trust him.
It put me in a rather difficult position. As a mother, I wanted to pull him off the course, but as a runner and a coach, I didn’t want for him to have to drop out of a race--and certainly not his second race ever.
So I encouraged him to walk in, to keep himself out of the emergency room and to just do what he could do within the parameters of finishing the race, yet staying out of the ER.
So that’s what he did, and it was bittersweet, because--on one hand--I was proud that he finished, but he finished in last place, and I know that had to be hard for him. I can only hope, though, that it was easier than it would have been to quit. And we avoided the ER.
Chris Marsh--mother, teacher, runner, coach....
I don't have the medical background to make an informed position on the sanity of running with an asthma condition so I'll just say I'm glad the lad managed to prevent a medical emergency. You are absolutely correct about how quitting can become a habit. I've seen it happen many times.
Now that was excellent coaching! It never occurred to me that quitting could become a habit. I had to walk in two races myself; once when I was taking an antibiotic (Floxin?) that unbeknownst to me (and unwarned by the pharmacist) caused severe muscle pain upon exertion, and once when I had broken a toe and foolishly thought I could run with it.
And your post brings up something else I hadn't thought of: A coach must inquire into the medical condition of all her charges, right? Otherwise, how can you make the correct decision when something manifests itself? A student probably does not volunteer such information, out of shame or out of fear of being cut. And then we see the tragedies that happen every summer when football practice starts.
Where was the boys' coach during all of this? Yes, you're the Mom, and you rule. But it sounds like his coach wasn't even present. Did he choose to walk it out because he wanted to finish, or because he knew you couldn't stand for him not to? I'm not asking to be mean -- I'm just asking because I grew up as a coach's kid. Both my brother and I played taped up and hurting; our coaches put us in because our Dad convinced them that we were mentally tough enough to handle it -- that it was a good thing for us. Given the circumstance, we obviously couldn't give in to the pain -- even though both of us still suffer lingering effects.
Lori,
His coach was there, but my son is new to running, so the coach didn't know what was going on. He was yelling and cheering my son on, and I told him to stop because I knew it would only make my son want to run, when he needed to be walking. The coach walked with my son while I ran back to where the team's stuff was to get his inhaler.
As for why my son didn't quit...I don't think it was because of my views on quitting because I didn't say anything about the perils of quitting until the next day. My son may be a coach's kid, but he's only been running long enough to compete in two races, and I have only been coaching the same length of time. I have many years of running experience and I feel like I understand the sport really well, but I have only been coaching for about four weeks.
Chris Marsh--mother, teacher, runner, coach....
Chris - Have you ever considered swimming as opposed to running for your son? That is what my aunt told me to do for my son when he developed asthma. She is not a doctor, but she is a medical professional. And that is what the doctors recommended for her two children too. Maybe you should ask around because I think that, while running is good, swimming is better specifically for asthma. I am not saying to take my word for it ... Just ask the professionals.
I congratulate you for wanting to teach your son to not be a quitter. But limping in last while sucking on an inhaler might not be the best lesson either. Just a thought. Another thought: Contrary to what some people would have you believe, asthma can be a lethal condition. People have been known to die simply because they didn't get medical attention soon enough. You are teaching your son to ignore the symptoms of a potentially serious problem. And to rely on an inhaler.
My son ended up in the ER three times for his asthma that I remember. His used to act up when he got sick more than for any other reason. One of those times, though, he was actually admitted to the hospital because there was not enough oxygen in his body. It was the very first time we went to the ER for his asthma. And it was a real wake up call for me. I had waited too long - treating the cold and not the asthma. He had an inhaler too. But inhalers are just not enough sometimes.
On the up side, kids who develop asthma young usually outgrow it. If they live through it, that is. My son hasn't had any problems with asthma for years and years.
My 12-year-old son had an asthma attack Monday night that required a trip to the ER. While waiting for my husband and son to arrive home (which they did about 2:30 am), I logged into the blogs and read this thread.
You said your son had an asthma attack before the race even though he had taken his inhaler. Maybe our definition of asthma attack is different but I just could not picture sending my son out to a run a race during/right after an attack.
I'm glad your son was able to finish his race. I certainly wouldn't advocate letting his asthma hold him back from realizing his dreams if they are to race. But, I hope he knows how to tell when he really does need to just sit down or be taken to the ER (without shame of quitting).
Since your son is new at the racing thing, he may need a bit of time to figure out exactly what his limits are and a little extra time to gradually build up his lung strength and endurance in order to stretch those limits.
My best wishes are with your son. I hope that together you, your son, his coach and doctor (and God) will figure out a plan that allows him to grow but also includes a safety hatch, if needed. Lack of oxygen is nothing to mess around with.
Lynda,
Just to be a bit clearer...my son had already started the race and was a ways into it before his asthma kicked in. He knows his body really well, and if he had simply dropped out, and I would have given him a big hug and praised him for knowing his own limits. My dilemma was that the mother in me wanted to force the issue and "pull him off the course," as I said in the blog. It all worked out...he was able to respect his own limits by walking and and was still able to finish the race.
Sorry to hear about your own son. The ER is no fun at all.
Chris Marsh--mother, teacher, runner, coach....