I read this article on AZ Central and it got me thinking....(it's a short article)
http://www.azcentral.com/ent/celeb/articles/0212witherspoon-CR.html
For the record....I DO NOT agree with bullying at all. Whether you are 2 or 102 years old, bullying someone else is wrong.
But here's the part of the article that got me thinking "
Witherspoon said, "...This drives me crazy about today. Everyone wins the award and then, you know, everybody is a Most Valuable Player? No. They're not. OK?"
I think I agree with her here. I think she's right! I feel as though we (adults) are setting our kids up. What will happen when they are adults and are a nominated for something and they don't win?
Not everyone can be MVP and you know what...that's ok. Not everyone is good at basketball or football or math or science or ballet. (whatever the case may be) But all that is really important is that our children give it there best shot and i think it's important that we teach them that. And most importantly....that we teach them how to deal with not being the MVP or the winner sometimes. (Ok, i know it all sound so Brady Bunch) But i am serious! We are not all Michael Jordans or Lang Lang. Again...thats ok!!
Don't get me wrong....i wanted things as a child and I did not always make the team and it broke my heart. But if i really wanted it...i practiced more and tried harder to get it. But even then, there were no guarantees and i didn't always get it. So it wasn't for me. Will it break my heart to see my daughter go through things like this....You betcha!! But i feel the experience and the discussions we will have regarding the experience...will help her later in life.
What do you think?
The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge.
~ Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
I think she's confused
I think she's confused teasing with failing. We've gotten away from teaching kids they need to work hard to achieve goals, prizes etc. They are just used to always being the winner and getting what they want.
I agree with Ericka there is
I agree with Ericka there is a diffrence between teasing and failing.
I was teased as a child and I can't say it made me who I am...just thicker skin.....
What made me who I am is working hard towards my goal.Sometimes you fail...and then fail again.....and the reward is knowing I tried.
This is a little off-topic,
This is a little off-topic, but remember when you were in high school how everyone was labeled? We had jocks, the cool kids, the nerdy types, the druggies etc. When I got to college, I noticed that everyone got to start fresh. People I would never have hung out with in high school were the ones I found interesting and funny in college. It's nice that that can happen to people in college and a shame that kids in grade schools get labeled and then shunned by others.
I do get what Reese Witherspoon is saying although I wouldn't want my kids to have to deal with that. Invariably, they do and the lessons they learn from those situations helps them later. My oldest got picked on when he was in 1st grade by a bigger 3rd grader. The kid pushed my son around. Finally, my son had enough and pushed back. The kid never bothered him again. My son has had to use that tactic from time to time but is able to because of the experience he had early on.
One of things that bothers me the most is the 'everyone's a winner" idea we feed to our kids. I hate that they get trophies after every season. A small medal, a certificate of participation, a coach telling each kid how they contributed to the team at the end of the season is a better choice of reward for kids. It's hard to watch your kid sit on the bench all season long and there is an argument for letting each kid play in rotation on a team when they are smaller so they can learn game skills along with the rest of the team, but...I think it's harder on the parents than it is on the kids. I think it's the parents who have a problem. We're the ones who need to buck up and deal with our kids sorrows and happy times equally.
Where did we go wrong? At what point did we decide that our kids need only rainbows and sunshine in their lives? What do you think?
One more thought...do you
One more thought...do you think that how we teach our kids to deal with criticism factors into whether or not they're teased? When I was in the third grade I was the tallest in my class. My friend was the smallest. We were called "The Jolly Green Giant and the Little Green Sprout!" We laughed at that description of us and gave back as good as we got. Another boy who was really small, as well, used to get into fights over people teasing him about his size. Of course, the more he fought with others, the more he got teased. It's not right, obviously, but how he dealt with the teasing contributed to the situation.
My 15 year old used to get teased when he was younger. We taught him to laugh it off and say something funny back to them. He caught on pretty quickly that humor diffused those types of situations. He has tons of friends now who like him for who he is. The confidence he got from being able to control those situations was huge!
Teaching kids to be self-sufficient and independent helps them gain confidence in themselves. When kids know they can tackle situations, that the world doesn't end because they aren't the best at everything, the world changes for them. Confidence shows itself. People respond. These lessons are so important for kids to learn. Some kids just aren't wired to deal with failure, but they can be taught to take control of their emotions and thoughts. They can be taught to think well of themselves in spite of others comments. Those are the lessons we need to teach our kids.
very well put!!
very well put!!
The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge.
~ Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
I agree with the earlier
I agree with the earlier posts. And I completely agree that not everyone should be MVP. That doesn't teach kids to work hard for things they really want.
Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 7 and 3.