Kids Registry for Birthdays

I learned a long time ago that the easiest way to get a child out of a store without buying anything was to have them write down what they wanted. Whenever we went to buy a present for a friend my son would carry a notepad and then at home make a list of things he wanted to save HIS money for.
When I opened Brilliant Sky, I had wishlists made for children. They could write down things they wanted and then take the lists home with them. Parents and children (of course older ones) really liked it.
One day I had a mom ask if we would keep the card as her son had a birthday coming up and she was going to send her mom in to shop.
I thought it was a good idea and started storing cards.
Typically, grandparents and family members would come in to pick the items they knew the children really wanted. I don't think parents told "friends" about the cards.
What started to happen is when friends who shop at the store were invitied to a party they would ask us to check if the birthday child had a wish list. Sometimes they would, sometimes they would not.
After speaking with many parents (to be honest I am still out on the topic as manners goes), the opinion seems to be it is very nice when you are invited to a birthday of a child you don't know very well. Parents like to get ideas of what the child is into even if they don't buy off the list.
I also have out of state family who will call and buy an item of the child's wishlist. Since there is free wrapping and the birthday child picks it up there is no shipping. Out of state family really seem to appreciate the option of getting something the child has requested.
I think it bottom line is how you approach it. I think if a parent calls to ask what a child would like (which I always do) it is OK to say the child has a wishlist he/she put together of his/her favorite items.
Likewise, I have no problem giving the list to grandmom when she asks what the kids want. I would probably not include a note with the invitation (like with a wedding) unless it was just family/really, really good friends.

I am interested to hear what other people think.
I know at the store we have A LOT of wish lists completed and used daily.

Janet

I don't necessarily think that it's declasse, but I'm also not convinced that it's a very good idea. I was in Walgreens picking up DPs prescription yesterday, and saw that three wiffle balls and a wiffle bat can be had for $2.99. It made me think back our birthday party days, and think that I would have had a great time playing with any of the toys in that aisle. Heck, I still would, but I haven't found a kid who wants to play jacks.

Especially while things are tight, a shopping list from Toys R Us might put the guests' parents (or even family members) in an awkward position. Even if the kid is just as thrilled by a box full of play-doh as s/he is by the latest video game, the adult who bought the play-doh might be worried that s/he didn't do enough.

It's rare enough that kids actually send a note (or email or call) to thank someone for a gift. I would hope we wouldn't want to compound that with the idea that a birthday party is about collecting loot, rather than celebrating a milestone with family and friends.

We're also not giving the child guests the opportunity to think about what their friend likes, and then choose a gift accordingly. That would be the point, right?

I don't like the idea. I'm all for it for weddings and new babies - easier to get what people need - but for kids, it puts way too much emphasis on a present. Kids should be thinking about having fun with friends, cake, games, etc.
Yes, I know that kids want presents. But they can be de-emphasized.

Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 7 and 3.

I don't know. I share the others opinion that it may not be the classiest thing to do and it does put an emphasis on gifts. However, most people attending a birthday party are going to bring a gift. With that said, I know when I give a gift, I want it to be a gift that will be on their wishlist. I always ask each parent what their child wants or needs and it gives me direction. If I decide that the suggestions are too pricey or I just would rather give something else, I have and do. I think it would be a nice way of eliminating duplicates(I know my son always gets them and I either return them or save them to give to another child later.)

I agree that if someone asks what to get your child for his/her birthday then, it is OK to tell them about the registry or wishlist. However I would think it to be very presumptious to put it on the invitation, as it is with wedding invitations, baby showers, etc.
I always ask parents for ideas for their child's birthday, so that would be a very nice thing to have. I think it is a great idea if done in a classy way.

Kinder-Mommy is a kindergarten teacher and a mother of 2!

I don't think I would want my child to register, although a lot of friends still ask me what my kids want! They would probably like a registry, but I prefer not to use them. I don't always go off them anyway, even for weddings. I like to find something more personal if I can, and for kids parties, I often find a really good gift on sale, so I don't need to spend so much!

Hobbymommy, 38, is a discussion leader from Mesa. She is a happy stay-at-home mommy to a 3-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son.