Thank you notes

I went ahead and let my 11 yr old start at age 5.. I would tell him what to write and he wrote it. I will never forget that yr he wrote to his friend Nick "dear Nike, Thak you for my new basball cards. I really lick them. I still laugh about that. But I think it was good for him to start early.

Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children, Joshua 12, Brooke 2 and Mason 10 months

I always think it means more to the receiver when its the individuals own handwriting. When I send out cards, I always sign my name, my husband signs his name, and we do a hand print from our 18 month old son.
As soon as my son begins to write, I will expect him to write his own "thank you" cards.
When I receive a card from a child with his/her own writing, I place it in a special place and hold it dear to my heart. One day when the child is older, I hope to show it to him/her.
If an adult writes on the card, it doesn't mean as much to me and I don't keep it as a keepsake. It is just something about a little childs writing that goes straight to the heart.

Six years ago when I was finishing up my student teaching, a 1st Grader wrote me a card saying, "Hate to see you live." He was trying to say, "Hate to see you leave." I still have all 18 cards today in my special file. A childs own handwriting means so much more and it is something that can never be replaced in the receiver's heart.

One Happy Mom in Arizona.

Usually kids learn to write their name first; as soon as my kids could write their name, they began signing thank you cards that I wrote out myself. Once they could begin to write, I made them write out their own thank you cards. We kept them short. 20 or 30 cards is a lot for a kid to write, so we divide them up over a number of days. It may take a week to get the cards out, but that's no big deal in my eyes. I have never used the "fill in the blank" thank you's, but we have received them. I understand why parents use them.

Our daughter showed an interest in drawing pictures - very elaborate pictures at an early age (around 4 1/2). So if she wanted to draw instead of write, I'd let her. By the time she was 7, her writing skills were far more polished.

Most of the time, they tell me what they want to write, and we go with it. She wrote a thank you card for me one time and it read, "you are pretie." Just one simple statement yet it meant so much!

Mouse_tales is a discussion leader in the East Valley for arizonamoms.com. She is a business owner, community volunteer, and aspiring runner (whew!), who most enjoys her roles as wife & mom. Her children range in age from 4 to 13.

I think that, as soon as kids can put together words, they should be writing their own notes. I'm a hard one on manners, and my rule is that gifts are not to be played with, worn, or otherwise enjoyed until the giver has been thanked properly.

I think it's a great idea to give children a few example "templates" that they can use. Encourage them to be specific about the gift and why they like it (i.e. "blue is my favorite color", or "I'm going to use the gift card to buy a new soccer ball.")

I know that (at least among my niece and nephews), saying "Thank you" is a quaint, outdated custom. However, just this last week, my colleague and I sent a nice gift to a vendor who's been working exceptionally hard with us. Not even a mention of the gift card, much less a thank-you. He lost a lot of stature with us.

I think we do children a great service by not only teaching them how to write a thank-you note, but also how to add more than just a signature to birthday, holiday, congratulations, get-well (and regretfully, as they get older, condolence) cards.

Even with all the great technology we have available to us, there still really isn't anything better than a folded piece of card stock with a personal message written inside it.

BTW -- the best card I ever got? Verbatim.

"Dear Ms. L****, How are you? I am fine, except that I'm in jail, they call it Detention, but it's all the same but I can make some decisins, and I am going to make a desisn to do what you and Ms. R**** said and I am going to tell the teachers here that I just learned how to read and rite. I won't be embarssd to say that, because I now if wan't my fault"

John aged out of the juvenile system, and, last I heard, was a pretty reliable and successful auto mechanic (who had completed several community college courses with top scores).

My son just turned 7 and this year he wrote all his own notes after I helped him with a guideline. I think in years before we did really short notes that he "wrote", just Dear _______, thank you. From, _________, or a picture like you mentioned.

This year I did the guideline Dear __________, It was nice to have you at my party. Thank you for the _____________. It is ____________.

May the Force be with you. (It was a Star Wars Party).

So, he handwrote all of that (although I am OK with the fill in the blank pre-written cards too.)

Then we made a list of who needed a note and what they gave.

He is certainly able to do it, it is just getting him to do it that takes the energy!! But I agree that it an excercise worth pursuing.

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

As soon as my children were able to write their name they were signing their thank you notes. I dont prefer the fill in theblanks but if you have close to 30 you may have a choice. I agree, let your child complete the cards over a time vs in one seating. I love getting and sending thank you card I think it is a very nice gesture.

Jennifer is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com and mommy to four beautiful girls who range from 9 to 4 years of age.