When my boy was younger and we went to someone's house to visit, I would ask if they had a pool and whether it was fenced. I also asked about dogs, worried he might get bit. But I never asked about guns.
On Monday, 3-year-old Tristan Dalton was visiting a friend's home in Phoenix yesterday afternoon with his mom. When Tristan's mother and her friend weren't looking, Tristan opened a nightstand, took out the loaded handgun and accidentally shot himself. He didn't survive.
Police call it a tragic accident. For me, it may be an accident prevented.
It's probably even more important now that my son is 9 that I ask that question when he goes to someone else's house to play. Boys his age can get into all kinds of mischief. If it involves a gun, it could be deadly.
My heart goes out to Tristan's mother. As moms, we know we can't know what our kids are doing every second, especially when we're away from our own homes. But, from now on, we can add a question about guns to our list of queries we make when our children go somewhere new.
Karina Bland is raising her 9-year-old son in Tempe with a lot of love, humor and support from her friends and family. A longtime journalist covering child welfare and education issues for The Arizona Republic, she blogs about raising good kids.
I can't imagine the pain...
I can't imagine the pain... may God give comfort to everyone involved.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
It's uncomfortable, really,
It's uncomfortable, really, to think about my kids playing at someone else's house. I would much rather have them at my house. Really, are we always going to go through the list? Do you have a fence around? Dogs that bite? Loaded guns? Poison Ivy? Feral cats? Drunken grandfathers? Registered sex offenders in your neighborhood -- nevermind- I can look that up myself on internet. It makes me just want to keep my kids all to myself.
Even worse, what if the parent you ask doesn't tell you the truth? What if they do have guns and they don't want you to know because of the stigma we have put on it? Guns inherently aren't criminal or evil. Keeping loaded guns in reach of children IS criminally negligent.
I remember the day my oldest first learned about strangers in preschool. They made pictures on black paper with white chalk. I don't know exactly what it was supposed to be, but he pointed it at and said, "Mommy, danger," and I just wanted to cry. I hate that we have to teach them fear, but what else can we do to keep them safe?
I am so sad for this little boy that lost his life and his family.
Susan is mom to Alexander, Isabel, David and stepmom to Eric. She does community outreach for arizonamoms. Be sure to enter the Back-to-School $1000 Giveaway every day July 4-31!
While raising two boys and
While raising two boys and with many of their friends visiting our home, I only had one parent ask me if we had weapons in our home. I was so proud of her for asking because it is difficult to do. And yes - we did have weapons that were secured.
Mom of teenage boys!
My kids were really little
My kids were really little when the movie "The Sixth Sense" came out on DVD --- but I made them all watch the scene about gun 'saftety.'
In it, the ghost of a young boy says, "Come with me, I'll show you where my Dad hides his gun," then he turns around and the back half of his head has been blown off.
That made a real impact on my kids --- more than any 'lecture from mom' could have.
I agree that parents need to educate their kids about guns, and investigate the environments in which their kids will be playing. The alternative is just too horrible to risk.
That is so sad. I would like
That is so sad. I would like to hope that this tragedy saves another family from heartache. I too have asked about safety things at peoples houses and more times than not I look with my eyes. To feel things out when I am at someone else's house.
Thank you for the wake up call about not getting lax in taking care of our children. I will admit I have not been as aware as I should have. We think when our children get older they just know better so we back off. Remember that post by a Mommy about realizing her children did not know how to turn the phone on? They knew how to dial 911..... So, something tragic has to happen for us to realize that our teaching never ends. We can't assume our children know how to handle situations like this if we haven't discussed it with them - I mean really discussed it with them. Even then, accidents do happen.
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.