punishment

Sometimes the best way to punish a child is to take away something they adore or appreciate. My 6 yr old daughter kept misbehaving in school. We would get emails from the teacher saying she didn't do her work because she was fooling around. So we talked to her about it the first time, second time we had a more stern talk with her and no tv, third time we realized something had to change. So we took away all her Hannah Montana CDs and anything else that was fun. I.E going to the park, movies, mall, friends house.

So I think that having him miss practice would show him how serious you are.

I think that might work once, but as a regular punishment, I say no.

Your son made a commitment to do his best in participating on his team, and so the team suffers for his behavior that is unrelated to the team.

I would take away other priveleges.

However, if he were taking lessons for an individual activity, like tennis lessons or guitar lessons, or whatever, then I would feel differently because he would be only hurting himself. But for a group or team activity, he also needs to learn that there are additional responsibilities to participating on a team. And I'm not a sports nut, I would feel the same if he were doing a play or singing in a chorus or participating in a food drive.

I think I am on the same page as the other posters. Try to take away something else - no trip to McDonalds worked wonders in this house.

Maybe if he gets in trouble he doesn't get a star for the day (or one taken away??) and 10 stars gets a trip to McDonalds or Chuck E Cheese? I hate rewarding kids for doing things they should be doing anyway, but sometimes you need a strategy for a little while to get over a hump. Good luck!

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

I would definately take away something else. He made a commitment to the team and should keep it.

Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 6 and 2.

I've never taken away a sport unless it was interfering with school work. Being on a team teaches kids about responsibility and sportsmanship. Kids learn to mind others besides their parents and teachers and to think about their teammates well-being.

TV, movies, playdates etc are all good things to take away. Maybe you could use some sort of token system? Take away all your son's privleges at first and then let him get them back as he collects a certain number of tokens. Every time he comes home with a good report, he gets a token. When he collects the certain number of them, he gets to watch tv, or play a video game etc.

I like token systems because it directly ties behavior with rewards. Kids have to be mindful daily of their behavior and why they are or aren't getting to do the things they want to do. It also puts them in control of their behavior. If they do well, they get to do the things they want; if they don't behave, they don't get to do the fun stuff. It's all up to them and takes the onus away from YOU! :)

I'm sure there are other things that you can take away before sports. Like video games, tv, playing outside,gonig to his fav restaurant...etc. Hopefully, the coach has some rules set in place and disciplines your child(in a good sportsmanlike way) if he misbehaves at practice.

I do think there's an escalation factor--I wouldn't take it away on the first infraction, but I'd put it out there as a problem--and lay out the consequences of bad behavior on the team as a whole. I'd also, if it looked like this needs to be the route, let the coach know of your strategy. Sometimes the parenting voice/influence can resonate better through the coach than from you. Check whether there's a team policy about being responsible--even at this young age.