Crime fit Punishment?

I don't think you sound too harsh at all. I would have him walk over with you to the neighbor's house and apologize to them as well if you have not already done so.

Not harsh at all. I do think he needs to apologize if he has not already done so. Maybe writing your neighbor a card would be good as well. I would have him explain what his punishment is to the neighbor. A little public accountablity.

He needs his world to fall down around his head to know this kind of behavior is not acceptable. ESPECIALLY because something with rocks happened at school.

I say good job Mom and Dad. I hope he learns his lesson.

KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.

My 6 year old would have been grounded longer, especially if it was a second offense (1st hitting the girl at school). For the first week everything would have been taken away including tv, and computer they would have only books. Second week, they would get one priveledge back.
I would also have my child apologize to the neighbor in person.
My kids have chores daily anyways on a weekly calendar to earn their allownace. So all of that childs allowance would be taken for the month. Also during the first week of groundation if we had any family fun planned like a movie or pizza that child would have to go to grandma's. I know I may sound kind of harsh, but my kids know they are not supposed to throw rocks ( they have been caught several times). So if it was my kids thats what I'd give them.

Jennifer is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com and mommy to four beautiful girls who range from 9 to 4 years of age.

If that were me when I was a kid my dad would have made me mow the guys lawn for a while to pay him back, or maybe pay you guys back, or rake leaves. Obviously it isn't that season just yet.

Lisa - Mom to her spunky little Scarlette

I think that as long as you don't add too much punishment for too long its good; because if the punishment goes on for too long, then kids have a tendency not to remember why they are being punished in the first place.
Also, I'd be asking your neighbor why now after a week he's now decided to say something to you about the broken glass? to me if you are not going to bring it to my attention immediatly then, 'sorry, how do I know you didn't break it yourself or your kids did it and now you just want me to flip the bill". I'd be doing some investigating of my own before I'd fork out $600!

Sashaymom

That's definitely a serious one! It can physically hurt someone and as you found out cost a LOT of money! I totally agree with doing things to earn money to pay it back (and charting it is great so he sees how long it takes PLUS it keeps the punishment fresh in his mind as to what he is being punished for) make him realize that something like that is more than an "oops, I'm sorry" type of thing that and mom and dad work hard for him to throw their money away like that.

I think That is fine. If anything, I would not let him go into the club house for maybe two weeks. He'll spend more time thinking about why he doesn't get to play up there for a while. What you have picked for the punishment sounds acceptable. Not to harsh or to soft. Hopefully he learns not to throw rocks anymore!!

Good luck MOM!!! ;]

I agree you have to nip the rock throwing now. At my son's school it is taken seriously - no warnings, one throw and you are off the playground. As for the broken door, a six year old would have to throw a pretty big rock pretty hard to break a patio door. I'm not sure I buy this story from the neighbor. I would not fork over the $600.

Susan & Neil Hampton have three spectacular children, Alexander, Isabel and David, plus one amazing teenager, Eric. Susan does community outreach for arizonamoms.com.
“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” - Margaret Atwood

What you've proposed sounds reasonable, plus a written apology to the neighbor.
I'd also lay out what the consequences will be if he throws rocks again - give him a little extra reason to behave!

Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 6 and 2.

Get the kid a baseball, sounds like he's got a pretty good arm...

Good for you, it sounds like you have a handle on it. I would have the child write a note or a card and hand-deliver to the neighbor.

This happened to me when my son was eight. We did pretty much what you're doing only we also had him go to the neighbor and ask if there was anything he could do for THEM! You'd have thought he was going to die!! It ended up being a good thing though cuz he knew if he ever did it again (even to a child at school) he would have to go to their house and ask what he could do to make things better. He ended up never throwing a rock again, plus we ended up becoming great friends with our neighbors!!

Paz

first of all, I would question why your neighbor waited a week to talk to you about it. if it had been my house i would have come right away. and did you ever see the borken patio door. just sounds fishy to me. I think that if he was throwing rocks he was probably watching where he was throwing and would know if he hit tomething or if he heard somethig break. but anyway that is besides the point because you have already decided to puish him. i think that you should offer him tow options, a hard list of chores for longer if he truly did it but if he honestly doesnt know that he hit something then he should just be punished for throwing rocks. i'm thinking that your neighbor saw him throwing rocks at one time and the maybe his door did break and he decided to blame your son when it probably borke some other way but it was the easy way out.