Ok, so twice in the same week in two different areas of the valley I have had people approach me at the gas station and give me these sad sob stories about them needing gas. Has this happened to anyone else?
The first situation was a guy who approached me at 75th Ave & Glendale at the Circle K. He said that his wife and daughter were stranded in their car with no water and they were trying to get back to Ahwatukee. He said that his wife is diabetic and needs to give herself insulin shots in her tummy. Well, I am a total softie and fell for the story...hook, line and sinker. I told him to follow me to the other pump with his gas can and that I would give him 10$ worth. He said "Oh, Mam, I don't have the can with me, I left it in my car." Who is stranded, out of gas and goes to beg for gas without a can????? Sorry, Buddy, I'm not just going to hand you money.
The second situation was last night at Dysart and Camelback/Bethany Home (I don't remember which street exactly) at an Albertson's gas station. It was a very similar story to the first one. This lady was in her truck and said she was trying to get back to Chandler because she had a fight with her boyfriend and he stole her wallet (however, there was a wallet right next to her on the seat). I apoligized to her and made an excuse that I was in a huge hurry and couldn't help her. She screamed a few not so nice profanities at me squeeled her tires and left.
I am all about helping people in need, but these stories are just obsurd. Why can't they just tell the truth..hey I need some money for my next fix, or a pack of cigarettes....whatever it be. I'd be more inclined to help someone who had enough guts to tell the truth than someone who tries to pull at the heart strings a bit by lying.
Please tell me I am not the only person who feels this way.
♥ "LIFE AIN'T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL, BUT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL RIDE" ♥--Gary Alan
I have not been approached
I have not been approached (yet!) but the price of gas is scaring me! I worry about when my kids are old enough to drive, what will the prices be...$20.00 a gallon?! My nephew works for the Florence Corrections and he said he was being told to watch out for people stealing gas from cars. He said they are being told to park in garages, get locks for their gas tanks because of all the theft of gas directly from vehicles! I just cannot believe our government cannot do anything about gas prices...it is completely shocking! Now crime is going to shoot up even more because of this. Very dissapointing and sad. Whew...I feel better now for venting!
mother of 4; wife of 1...so 5 children :) and I love it everyday!
I have had this same thing
I have had this same thing happen to me numerous times over the last few years of living in Arizona. The most recent one was when I was driving down a Fry's parking lot and this man with a truck started coming up the same way I was going down the aisle (he was going the wrong way). He basically blocked me and then motioned for me to roll down my window. He had a child sitting in the back that I noticed and he gave me some sob story about how he lost his wallet and needed gas to get back home. I politely said that I didn't have any cash and he tried to argue with me for a while. It was really uncomfortable and actually scared me! He said some not so nice things to me as he finally left (in front of his kid of course). That was the most bizarre one but lately I have been approached just about everywhere in parking lots by people wanting cash. I know it's tough times and I am having a tough time too but I hate being approached like this!
I don't understand them
I don't understand them either. However, if someone did not have enough gas to get to where they needed to go and get back home, I'm not too sure if I'd help them. ?? We all need to buget and watch our spending, shouldn't everyone? To me, that's like a person that would rather go get their nails done, and beg for money for their children's diapers. No sense.
There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one!
OMG...first off who goes
OMG...first off who goes around begging for gas now a days. You are way nice. I would have told both people, "gee at $4 something a gallon, I can't afford to pay for my gas and help someone else pay for theirs." Then I'd probably follow with a snotty, "Maybe you should have took the bus, rather than drove a car if you couldn't make it from point a to b without being able to get more gas." and for the girl, "maybe you should call 911 and report your wallet stolen rather than driving around asking people to help fill up your tank." Then I ever so nicely would have said, "by the way, is that wallet right there next to you yours?" People are nuts now a days. You seem really nice and if you are with your kid they probably take even more advantage of you so be careful approaching these people.
"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."
Thank you for your
Thank you for your compliments. You have some really good comebacks that I will have to use next time. Yeah, my hubby, friends and family are always telling me that I am too nice and that people are going to take me for granted someday. I guess these situations prove them right. LOL
It is really scary though because both times I had my son with me. It could have turned ugly at any point.
PS....I am a really nice person and it usually takes a lot to set me off....but once I reach that point, WATCH OUT....lol :0)
♥ "LIFE AIN'T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL, BUT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL RIDE" ♥--Gary Alan
lol...that's very much me
lol...that's very much me too!! My friends say I have the ability to go from normal to crazy in about 6 seconds in the right buttons are pushed.
"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."
People just want the money.
People just want the money. I actually have a friend who's father used to be one of those guys that stands on the side of the freeway, and raise enough money so he could leave town. He is not homeless by the way.
Here's my take on it. Don't give it to them. If you want to be generous then donate money to your church, Big Brothers and Sisters, disaster relief funds, womens shelters for battered women, Goodwill etc.
My husband (boyfriend at the time) was once approached by a homeless man who said that he was hungry and was asking for food. My husband said to wait and he would go give him food. My husband came back with a plate of food, and they pulled out a fork where he had bent back the two side prongs and cut my husband. My husband was formerly in the military and knew how to defend himself and knocked the guy out. He went to call the police, and when he came back the guy was gone. ( my husband ended up with a tetnus shot)
Sorry to be on my soapbox, but I worked two jobs while I was pregnant to try and pay for bills, and my husband lost his job twice due to layoffs. The least these people can do is try to do the same, and be a part of society.
Lisa - Mom to her spunky little Scarlette
I was also approached by
I was also approached by someone two summers ago when I was pregnant with my daughter. The lady first looked at my husband and then approached me thinking that I would probably give in since it was a sob story about her children needing stuff. Since I was working two jobs trying pay bills I didn't think it was fair since I'm working my tail end off while she's in a parking lot begging. I didn't feel sorry about turning her down.
I would rather work two jobs, making sure I could afford diapers, food, and daycare for my daughter, and live off of ramen rather than beg for money. I'm not prideful, but it's my responsibility as a parent and a person who lives in our society.
Lisa - Mom to her spunky little Scarlette
I don't think you are on a
I don't think you are on a soap box at all. I think you are making very good, valid points, and I agree with you 100%. We are all expected to do our jobs and pay our way and be responsible for our kids....why can't these people?
I am sorry your hubby was injured just trying to help do the right thing. I am glad he was able to defend himself and only walked away with a cut (and a Tetanus shot later).
I have to really give you kuddos for working 2 jobs while preggo. I had a hard enough time working just the one job I had. I can not imagine working 2. But if it meant providing for my family, or begging on the street. I would have done the same as you. I would've worked 12 jobs before I EVER begged for money, gas, food etc.
♥ "LIFE AIN'T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL, BUT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL RIDE" ♥--Gary Alan
There are horror stories for
There are horror stories for all the people that say they're hungry or homeless. Or out of gas. Or need diapers. I am not judging anyone, honest. But I feel compelled to say a couple things. First off, NO ONE wants to be taken for granted or used or attacked by any of these people. I have seen all of it and heard every sob story you can imagine. I am a Vincentian for the Society of St. Vincent de Paul. I just want to say that there really are people in need. There are people that DO have jobs, two and three of them, but they still can't feed their families. I have met people that because of a major accident or illness they have lost everything they have and are now homeless. I have met uneducated people who don't know how to make ends meet because they were never taught. I have met educated and intelligent men who cry so hard I can't understand anything they say until they calm down. They are so ashamed of themselves it's hearbreaking. And they have done absolutely nothing to deserve the life that by chance has happened to them. My point here is that there are legitimate, real and sincere reasons that people are in need. And the need is great. I don't want to go into a religious debate here but when you give to the poor you give to the hand of God. No matter what they do with it.
Paz
Zoomom, I am sure there are
Zoomom,
I am sure there are people out there who really are in need and do have horror stories. I have given to those people. Just a few years ago, there was a homeless man that I saw EVERYDAY for at least a year while on my way to work. I usually saw him at the Circle K in the morning. He never once asked me for even a penny. He always said "Good Morning, Mam". I felt really bad for him and knew he must have had a story. Well, the time I saw him before Christmas, I handed him a 50 dollar bill and told him, "Merry Christmas, My Friend" He thanked me over and over again and actually cried stating that no one had ever been that nice to him. It felt really good to help out.
I think the point that everyone is trying to make here is that the beggers who lie are just trying to get money and take advantage of people, and are making it bad for the ones who legitimately need the help.
I wasn't talking about the people who have tragic things that have happened to them and created the situation for them to ask for help. I am taking about actual beggers...the people who lie to get help and as mentioned above target pregnant women in hopes that they will feel sorry and give in to the lies.....those people need to step up and do things the way that everyone else does...by getting a job, working hard, being responsible and paying for what they need instead of begging for it.
♥ "LIFE AIN'T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL, BUT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL RIDE" ♥--Gary Alan
I will totally agree with
I will totally agree with you on this also. I do feel for those that are really struggling out there to make it day by day. My issue was both of these incidents seemed to be people trying to take for granted a "nice" person. I don't expect to get into my car and drive knowing that on the way home, I won't have enough gas to make it there. And yes I know that sometimes you forget a bank card or a purse and have no money, but I guarantee that these people were looking for a hand out, not a leg up. I don't know any person in Phoenix who would have not said that they couldn't use a phone to call and ask someone for help if it was a forgotten wallet or stolen purse situation. I didn't mention this before but I'm that girl that is ALWAYS asked for a hand out whether it be, "I'm out of gas with no money," "I was wondering if you could spare some change?" or my favorite one ever used was, "I don't have money to buy formula or diapers for my baby, can you give me $20?" I said no, but we were outside a Walgreens and I offered to go inside an buy her some and she said never mind. Please!!! I appreciate all the good things those organizations do to help but let's not act dumb here...people know they exist and those really in need call or go in and get help.
I'll get off my soap box now!
"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."
I think it is getting crazy
I think it is getting crazy out there. Be careful. Listen to your gut, if you are not comfortable there is a reason.
I agree that if you want to give there are places set up to help people and begging is really not one nor is it safe.
I, too have been approached, a couple of years ago at a Costco. I too gave them some money and I thought that if they were scamming shame on them but I was doing what I felt was the right thing to do at the time.
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
I, too, often feel for
I, too, often feel for people who are asking for a assistance, but I am not willing to get money out to give to them because I am suspicious of their true motives. I am more than willing to give money to a trusted organization that assists people or to a family member in need, but an experience last year convinced me that I would not deal with someone off the street that I do not know asking for assistance. Unfortunately, I do not trust that they will not take advantage of the situation and steal my purse or something worse.
We had an incident last summer when we were driving back from Ohio to AZ and we stopped in New Mexico for the night at a hotel. Some man came up to our car giving us a story about how he needed money to get home to his family and he went on and on. He was acting strangely and my husband was very polite, but he told him we could not give him money. We went to dinner with the kids that night came back to the hotel and parked right by the hotel door in a well lit area. The next morning we came out and our car windshield had been shattered and a huge rock lay by the car. I feel fortunate that it was just the car that was injured, but it has made me extremely cautious about such situations.
JuneSlager is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com, raising three children (ages 15, 14, & 11) in Northeast Phoenix.
i have seen this once since
i have seen this once since prices started shooting up. But i was not the one approached. Honestly though, i would have no problem telling the individual that i do not have cash on me. (the husband was doing the begging for money w/ one of his kids as i watched his wife walk in to the grocery store. I later saw her in the grocery store and she had a cart 1/2 full of items.)
Plus, if i even try to purchase gas twice within minutes of even activating a pump, my debit card won't allow it. I will have to contact my bank and notify them that i have the card in my possession and that i am indeed trying to make multiple gas purchases. I can get gas in the same day, just not minutes apart from each other without contacting the bank. This is fine with me.
I don't believe that the majority of these people need gas...they want cash. This is going to sound absolutely horrible and i know it, but since gas is the latest "crisis", people are taking advantage and using gas as the reason for begging for money.
The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge.
~ Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
I used to give out money all
I used to give out money all the time when I was younger. Now that I'm a Mom with kids and bills, I tell them 'Sorry, I have kids to feed. Try a job'. I really have no sympathy for panhandlers. I used to be a single Mom of 2 and I worked so that I didn't have to ask for handouts. UGH!!
Anna - mama of Joshua, Isabella, Sofia and Israel
I feel like ever since I was
I feel like ever since I was pregnant and have had my daughter now - that I've been approached by more and more people "begging" for money. I just sometimes feel like I'm targeted in that way because maybe us moms are more willing to help out. And I do help out when I can but not in these type of situations usually. I'm just too cautious and feel targeted when I'm approached and have my daughter with in a parking lot. Just not the right place for me!
I work part time from home and my husband works full time and we are just barely making ends meet but we do still donate to charities that we feel make a difference. I definitely feel like it's important to give money to others - but to me it's just the circumstances.
And I have to say when my husband is with me - we are much more likely to give out the dollars in change that we have on us. I just feel safer when he's with us versus me by myself with my daughter!
I got approached at a gas
I got approached at a gas station by a women who would not leave after I said no. I finally had to leave myself because she gave me a weird feeling and I was concerned of my child's safety. And this was daytime.
Sandi is a discussion leader for the East Valley. She lives in Chandler with her husband and 10 year old daughter that thinks she is 15.
I've been on both sides of
I've been on both sides of this discussion.
One time when my kids were about 3 my tank was on E and I had about $7 and doctor and therapy appts that day. As I was filling up there was a man there getting gas as well and I wanted to ask him so bad if he would buy a little bit more gas for us. I struggled with the urge and finally I just got in my car and drove away.
We didn't run out of gas and I know that was a low point in my faith that God would take care of us and I'm glad now I didn't ask.
On the other hand I have been approached for money and if I have some I usually will give it away.
I've only had a bad feeling 2 times that I just got scammed, but I figure life is a learning lesson and I learned from those times to trust my gut more when I feel it's not an honest request.
bookworm_mom ~ mommy of twins
5 so far. 1 at Costco
5 so far. 1 at Costco parking lot (friendly). 1 at Borders Books (not friendly). 1 at Wallyworld (not friendly). 2 at a freeway offramp traffic signal (young granola couple hugging each other holding a sign. no gas can). The other 3 had gas cans walking around approaching people 'urgently'. Looks like a load o' crock to me.
That's weird...I haven't
That's weird...I haven't been approached for gas money in the last few months at all. Maybe I look mean.....lol....
I was going to say that it was probably because I usually gas up at Costco and you have to have a membership to buy gas there, so it weeds out a lot of the riff-raff that you'd find at the average gas station.
I have given money to people at a gas station a while back, once last year...if they look sincere and I get a good vibe about them and I have a few bucks, I'll help them out. I figure I am lucky to be prospering and living well in times like this, so if one day I find myself in need , someone may find it in their heart to help me for no reason.
I just think when it is so
I just think when it is so obvious it is a con-job, just say no....really no explanation is needed. Why would you care? They will find another way to get what they're looking for. About two years ago I had two bums at a gas station in Anthem, of all places, try to get gas money from me. I said no and walked away. The nerve of grown men approaching a strange woman at night, minding her own business just trying to get some gas!
Haven't been bothered since then, thank goodness.
Of course, I give to legitimate causes. That is totally different.
Ms. M
My husband just
My husband just confessed/informed me yesterday that he had been approached by a family (grandma, daughter and child) and that he put in 5 gals for them.
His comment was this will probably happen more often, and looks like it is. I bet many don't have a "next fix" but really can't afford to fill their tanks. In this heat, it is hard to say no. I know I'd want a little help if I needed it.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
Giving gas, food, or other
Giving gas, food, or other items to people truly in need is a kind act of charity. But NEVER give money! In the vast majority of cases, it will be used for alcohol, drugs, or something that will actually make the 'beggar's' problems worse.
My sister works for a charity and routinely takes blankets, food, etc. to the homeless who for whatever reason don't want to go to shelters. She and all the others are told NEVER to give them cash, no matter what story they give. No exceptions, ever. They can offer other assistance (such as food, first aid supplies, bottled water, clothes, etc) but never, ever, ever money!
People with addiction problems --- as well as just plain scammers --- are experts at making people part with their money. So 'yes' to doing a good deed for a person in need, but "no" to handing out cash!
New to AZ --- and missing autumn leaves and the smell of apple orchards!