Gay Marriage OK'd in Cali

Good for CA!!! I can never imagine AZ allowing something like this in the near future and quite honestly, i don't see what the big deal is to allow same sex marriages.

just~me

I can see this sticking in California. Arizona, maybe someday, but not for a long time. Way to go California!
Now I have that song stuck in my head..."People are people, so why should it be?...."

There is still too much strong resistance to gay marriages for this to sweep the nation, but every human rights movement has to start somewhere.

Susan is mom to Alexander, Isabel, David and stepmom to Eric. She does community outreach for arizonamoms. Be sure to enter the Back-to-School $1000 Giveaway every day July 4-31!

I have lived in AZ most of my life and in CA for some of my life and honestly I don't feel this is so far in the future anymore. I think within the next 2-5 years it will be legal out here (CA usually sets the wave for AZ). More and more people are becoming less "shock crazy" over gay people. In the past some of the issues surrounding it were mostly "what if the couple splits up," and having to deal with the fall out because gay marriage isn't recognized in the government and in legal courts and on legal documents (splitting assests, property, children rights and health insurance). I think this is a fantastic step in the right direction and when it gets around to this state, I will fully support it!

Great news for CA and hopefully we will follow suit.

"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."

I lived in California the last time that state tried to legalize same-sex marriage. At that time for whatever reason, I cannot recall, it did not pass. So, I was wondering if it'd pass this time. I have no idea if it will pass here in Arizona. However, if we look at trends here in AZ. Most of the time things that pass in California eventually get passed in Arizona (i.e. ban on smoking in restaurants, etc.) I can't say if it will sooner vs. later pass. However, if there was one law I'd like to see pass that California has...that would be that all those on a motorcycle be required to wear a helmet. It saddens me to see so many deaths that could have been prevented by the use of a helmet. When I first moved to AZ from CA I was in shock as I just assumed they had the same helmet law. Nope. Wish that one would pass- I'd vote for it!!

LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 7 months and 3 years old.

As you probably know, there's a bill in the state Senate to ban gay marriage. It's already against the law for gays and lesbians to get married in AZ; why do we need another law that says, "No, we really mean it"?

With all due respect, I don't think it's a "slippery slope" at all. If I could get married to my DP, the only thing that would change is the pile of paper we have to maintain (powers of attorney, etc.) We're not going to start holding hands in public. Nobody's going to hate us or love us any more than they already do.

I just want the security of knowing that, if I get hit by a bus, she'll be the one in charge, and she'll be able to keep the things we've worked for. What's offensive about that?

I think it will be a long time before this is made legal in AZ - if ever. This is still a very conservative state.....and we have a sizeable LDS population.
Personally - I don't think AZ needs a constitutional amendment defining marriage. I am also not opposed to gays being able to marry - I know many Christians will tell me I SHOULD be vehemently opposed to it - but I really don't care.
I fail to see how allowing gay people to enter into a union recognized by the state is any threat to my family as it stands....I know what marriage means to me, and I am not threatened by gay marriage. It is none of my business how they want to live their lives, and in the end it will be between them and God. We are all going to answer for how we have lived, and we have all sinned. The fact that there are gay couples living as married couples is not going to change no matter what amendments the Center for Arizona policy and other hard line right wing groups try to push through, so it seems like a waste of time and quite punitive.
As far as this being a slippery slope because of things like polygamy - well, as long as all parties are consenting ADULTS, I don't care if people want to live their lives that way, either(as long as they aren't on the goverment dole, who cares). It isn't a lifestyle I would want to engage in, but I think others can choose for themselves.
A side note about the Center for Arizona Policy - a few years ago I joined a Bible study, right around the last gubernatorial election in Arizona. I was really dismayed when the leader of the Bible study forwarded a "voting guide" with indications on exactly how to vote on every proposition and who we "must" vote for, authored by Cathy Herrod - who I beleive is heading up the CAP.....and she prefaced it by saying that Herrod was a very Godly woman and she felt the Lord had given her guidance as to how we as Christians should vote.....and she also commented to the effect that there were a lot of "confusing" propositions on the ballot and we should feel blessed that Herrod had taken the time to sort them out for us. I was so angry - why on earth would I take a voting guide from some woman I don't even know, just because I am being told she is a Godly woman? Does she have some kind of direct line to the Lord that I don't have? And how do we know she didn't have some sort of political or financial stake in all this?? The skeptic in me was ringing the alarm!
I make my own decisions - that is my right as an American and frankly I was shocked at how some of the other women actually WELCOMED this kind of suggestion, so they didn't have to think about how they should vote. It was frightening to see what sheep some of them were....so I left the group immediately. I was told, of course that this was a demonstration of my lack of faith, but I was very skeptical of their motivations for handing out such a "guide", and groups like that scare me. People need to THINK about what they are doing.

I am cool with CA removing the ban on gay marriages, however, I feel that it should be for their state residents only because if a couple marries and returns to their home state that does not recognize the marriage - nothing has been accomplished.

My marriage license did not solidify my marriage (in my eyes) - it was standing before God, family and friends and professing my eternal love and commitment to my husband. The piece of paper only gives us legal rights.

I

We are talking about liberties. When a group of people is targeted for what ever the reason, it is wrong. Just because you don't walk in someone else's shoes does not mean you get to tell them how to walk. We need to be very careful because the next time they could come after you.

World history shows us that countries target people who are different than "them". Case in point, Hitler with Jewish people, Saddam against the Sheities (I know that is not spelled right, but you should have seen my other spelling...)

What difference does it really make in our lives if everyone gets the chance to marry who they want. Why can't we just get along and stop trying to put our morals on everyone else? We all have different opinions and that is ok as long as you don't force me to follow yours if I don't agree.

KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.

Ten or fifteen years ago I would have probably agreed that gay marriage is wrong. I have a daughter that is gay, living with her girlfriend. That is only one very small part of who my daughter is. She is also loud, funny, kind, giving, loving, forgiving and the most courageous 20 year old I have ever known. She is gay and makes no apologies for it. As her mother, it hurts and angers me that I'm afraid for her. She is buying a home (yes, she's a hard worker, too) and I find myself worrying about what kind of neighbors she'll have. Will they accept her? Will someone try and hurt her? I shouldn't have to think about these things. We went bowling a few weeks ago and as I saw one of my other daughters holding hands with her boyfriend and being like couples are, I found myself thinking how unfair it is that my gay daughter cannot act the same way in public as her two other sisters. I could go on and on about this so I better stop. I would like to thank some of the people that blogged - your words were gentle reminders for me of how the world is becoming a littler more accepting. And one more thing...be careful. If you have small children you really don't what their little lives will be in a few years. Be gentle...I am so grateful that my husband, children and family have accepted my daughter as she is since day one. Words and actions you say now will be remembered when your children are older.

Paz

Before I was married to my husband (which I was completely scared of doing due to being brought up in a divorced family) I could not get on his insurance. I had so many medical problems that I had to pay so much for because I couldn't get on his insurance; 6 years later I get pregnant. Instead of doing the wedding that we were planning we had to get married at the J.P. in a hurry so that I could get on his insurance. I'm so glad that there is partner insurance out there for those companies that are doing it, and I'm glad now that people can have the peace in knowing that they are married to their life partners. Good job Cali.. hopefully Arizona is next.

Lisa - Mom to her spunky little Scarlette

As a postscript, I just want to say, "Thank you" to the Moms who made it safe for me to come out on this forum. My DP and I have both been blessed with the opportunity to help raise other people's kids. We're a little long in the tooth, but we've recently decided to go ahead and see if we can't have one of our own. We'd be older Moms, but we won't need walkers at our child's graduation.

Feel free, if it works, to throw my words back at me when I'm the one trying to console the colicky infant at 3:00 am. Here's to hoping that, before our child gets to kindergarten, his/her Moms will be married, both grandmothers are on board, and we'll have found a positive male role model (i.e. Godfather) to provide a little balance to all the estrogen.

I'm just not sure where marriage became stirctly a religously defined institution. It just seems weird that rights of US citizens are being denied.

I know this is a bit late, but I just want to give a big old YAY to Cali for reversing the ban. I've never understood the issue with gay marriage. The first gay couple I ever came into contact with was my mom's boss and his boyfriend when I was 10 years old and even then I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. All I saw was two people who loved each other, it never occurred to me to think it strange that two men were together.

Anyone who says that being gay is a "Lifestyle" is an ignoramus! You can't choose to be gay anymore than you can choose to be black, white, Asian, or Native American.

And to the pp who stated that it's out of line to compare the atrocities gays have gone through to what the Jews and Shiites have gone through. Are you aware of how many gay people have been beaten and killed? Maybe it doesn't matter to you because the numbers don't match that of the Jews or Shiites killed. Do you even remember Matthew Shepard? Do you know what was done to that poor young man? And for no other reason than he was gay.

And to compare homosexuality with incest or polygamy is probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. How dare you lump gays into the same group as these degenerates! Would you have compared interracial marriage to incest or polygamy as well? It was at one point in not approved of by the "moral majority" and let's face it, there are still some places in this country where it's not any more safe for an interracial couple to walk down the street holding hands than it is for a gay couple.

For being one of the most industrialized countries in the world, we certainly are a backwards thinking society.

It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not.

Hey Ladies,
I was off turning 40 and hadn't logged in for a while. I was a bit nervous to check this chat as gay marriage is an issue I have strong feelings about. So, thanks everyone for commenting.

I'd like to mention to those who support gay marriage, there is an organization called Equality Arizona that works to further the rights of Gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered people (and their straight friends) at http://www.equalityarizona.org/

You can make a donation or just get on their mail list and they will let you know whenever you can help. Sometimes it is as easy as e-mailing your AZ Congressperson, or your US Congressman. (That is the easy part, getting them to agree is harder...)

I have friends in CA, who have been together as long as my husband and I have, they are hoping to have a wedding in September. I hope they invite me, I'll be there with bells on!

Thanks again everyone for making this thread one of civil discourse. The only way we are going to change things is to talk it out logically. This issue is one of civil rights and equality. I think it will prevail eventually, I hope sooner than later, but Ms. Harrod and the Center for Arizona Policy have many minons and money and lots and lots of fear. So, we have to be smart and honest and persistant.

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.