we were in the shade at a fast food place having smoothies and a girl walks up with this lie ..." my car broke down and i need money for the bus." i tossed her change, less than a dollar. her lie is on her. but as i saw her sitting as the bus stopp with her boyfriend sharing a cigarette i wonder what my change was going towards. bullets, drug run, alcohol .... and i thought how many times i was hit for money this month. where do these ppl get their balls? my husband works way to hard to get the money we have. then i think if i tell them to f off are they gonna shoot my ass for the attitude. yeah i have given all of them beggars some change but it also adds up. there was a lady in the store being asked to donate for phx hospital and that it was for a good cause and it was only a dollar and she snapped yeah they are all good causes and everyone wants a donation. well at least it was going somewhere, but with the beggars who knows. and my husband says giving change is a good way to get them to leave. i am rambling but i am upset .... if the car breaks down on the freeway, who will stop and help when i need it with two boys in the car cops come by but they are also not there right away with so much traffic. ad i mentioned to one lady that a woman outside asked me to buy her girls food and before i asked if she was asked as well she rolled her eyes at me but i took it personally.
how do u all feel and what do u do??
there was even a older man asking for gas money, how do u know when to respect ur elders some of these beggars dont even look 'homeless.'
"dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining"
I tend to agree with you and
I tend to agree with you and give (75% of the time?), knowing I was just lied to. And somedays it annoys me more than other days. Part of me has to give it to them for being able to ask for something, and sometimes the lies are so elaborate I give them points for creativity, or just cut them off and say, "I don't need to hear the rest." Ultimately I figure if they get enough money to survive, maybe they won't break into an old ladies house and hurt her. And I know I'd want help if I needed it.
I also think of shows like the Amazing Race, where those people have to beg. Why would I give to them if I could and not the guy in front of me??
There is one mobile couple who approached me 3 different times in three different places Scottsdale, and 2 other locations in PHoenix. They admit they are looking for help, ask if you know a place they can stay, then ask if you can spare some money. I told them they should know all the places to stay by now as they get around more than I do. He just laughed and asked again for change.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
Wow, you are angry. I hope
Wow, you are angry. I hope your day gets better soon. I guess I have a completely different outlook on this subject - my heart goes out to them. I don't care if it is a lie or not, I don't even care if they walk away thinking how they just pulled one over on a "sucker". What I do care about is how I feel about myself or how my daughter looks at me when all I have done is passed on a little change.
True story - I once gave some money to a homeless man on the street, after some time I was in a nearby market and that same man was in line with a beer in his hand to purchase, he saw me and had such a shameful look in his eye, I just smiled and told him to have a good day. I wasn't mad because I think if I had to spend one day in his shoes I would be having more than a beer.
No, you are not a bad person if you don't give money to a "begger". Just be careful about judging because maybe that one person who is "begging" doesn't have any other options.
kelli748, I think you have a
kelli748, I think you have a good attitude about it.
Who am I to be the one to judge them even if they are lying. I know there are many worthy causes out there and that I couldn't possibly support them all but if I find myself in a position that I could help a little then I will.
This is why i never give any
This is why i never give any money to anyone who approaches me or anyone out panhandling.
But if you are worried about them going on off on you, perhaps you can just say you don't have any cash instead of telling them to "f off ". I guess what i am saying is, i believe that most times panhandlers (not all of the time) are polite and just walk off with a "have a nice day", "god bless" or "thanks". I know some can get aggressive as i have read in previous posts. Just try to treat them with a some respect and most will do that to you in return. And if they don't, just ignore them and don't stoop to their level.
Although one did want to trade his buckets for my husbands motorcycle once and my husband laughed a little and said no thanks.
just~me
I wouldn't recommend telling
I wouldn't recommend telling a random stranger to "f off".....why provoke someone who is obviously close to the end of their rope, and may feel they don't have much to lose?
People are desperate and angry.....to be quite honest, the rising price of gas hasn't put much of a dent in my budget, but I realize I am very fortunate and there are people out there trying to get by on far less than our household income...and those people are probably feeling a huge squeeze from the increased price of fuel and everything else. It must be very stressful to try and choose between eating or driving to work!
I think it would be wise be on guard when gassing up these days...I would not be suprised to see a sharp increase in strong arm robberies and carjackings. I usually don't get gas when my son is with me because I am paranoid about the idiots who insist on smoking at the pump...but I won't go to a gas station or convenience store with him at all now, and I won't go alone at night.
Not to be mean, but, girl,
Not to be mean, but, girl, you need to communicate in complete sentences if you want us to be able to understand what you're saying. The tag of "dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining" is getting a little old for me; we're not here to confront you, so I don't understand why you need to do that. I also am amazed that you don't know how to use an apostrophe.
What do you need, girl?:
whe i am mad i am mad and
whe i am mad i am mad and thats it. i could care less about punctuation so do not start with me. i would never tell anyone to f off, its just the way i am feeling. iits too bad u feel my tag is to tired for u but we are in america and my dad and thousands upon thousands have fought for the freedom to say what we want but u are changing the subject so i want to say thank you to u but really for what?
"dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining"
Don't even start with me
Don't even start with me about serving our country, little girl, unless you've put on a uniform and been through boot camp. The men and women who are shipping out aren't doing so to defend your right to act like a spoiled brat.
Talk to me when you can formulate a sentence and show a little respect to the ladies here.
Whoa ladies. Or should I
Whoa ladies. Or should I say, "Whoa, ladies". I admit that I was somewhat taken aback by the tone of skanoobie's post but I could see that she was quite angry at the time of the writing. She made her point, even without the correct punctuation.
I'm guessing you were an English teacher before being fired because you have corrected me in other postings. I have to admit that I respected your answers to me regarding the issue but questioned why you felt the need to correct my grammar.
Until we get spell check and the "grammar checking thing" on this website you will be very busy with my posts. That's cool though because I will forever remember that a principal oversees a school and principles are what I stand for.
dude u have no clue that i
dude u have no clue that i am not a 'little girl' and again i have the right to start with u about serving our country. my grandfather, father and uncle fought for my freedom to tell you to shut the hell up if i want to just like they fought for the right for a man like you to have your say on this website.i wasnt talking to u anyway. only asking what ppl thought of the situation. now bite me....hows that for a sentence
"dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining"
And I was just about to
And I was just about to apologize to you.
For the record, I am not a man. I did, once, dress up like one to play Sonny to a drag queen's Cher for a benefit. We sang, "I got you, babe." It was a fascinating experience, watching the guys transform themselves (and having them transform me), but it was only for a few hours.
I served so that you have the right to tell me to bite you. You're welcome.
dont apoligize you have ever
dont apoligize you have ever right to make ur comments. my punctuation wasnt the subject, and i felt u were being very harsh over something other than the subject and i was insensed by it. thank you for serving this country. have a nice day
"dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining"
For me giving means you give
For me giving means you give with no obligation. If I can afford to give it then I will and its none of my business what the person I've given the money to does with that money. Once it's given it isnt mine anymore.
If nobody gave anything to anyone anymore what kind of world would we be living in?
I totally agree with you!
I totally agree with you! I'm always giving a few bucks here and there. You can't judge people because they smoke or because they're homeless. In Gods eyes you gave them the money for a good cause and if they go buy drugs with that money thats on them not you. Just think about if you ran out of gas and didn't have your wallet, wouldn't you be asking someone for money????
thanks !!! that was one of
thanks !!! that was one of my points ... whos gonna stop and help me out and my boys when i need it ?? and i say that cause i dont own a cell phone
"dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining"
If you don't want to give,
If you don't want to give, just don't. It's your choice.
and my point was even
and my point was even beggars get offended and desperate and shoot ppl because they think they are getting attitude so now i dont even know if i should bother saying no, and its getting expensive
"dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining"
Fortunately i have never
Fortunately i have never come across anyone begging for money who has been rude to me if i said "sorry, i don't have any cash on me".
But if they did get rude with me, i would just walk off and not engage with them. At that point i may be being rude by walking off, but if i feel threatened i will take myself out of the situation. Sometimes you (meaning the individual in the situation) have to take control of the situation and engaging in a shouting match because a panhandler thinks you are giving him/her attitude is a dumb move. And by the way...if you tell them to "f off" you kind of are giving attitude in my opinion.
If my car broke down, i would call someone i know to come and assist me. I would never count on a stranger to help me. Especially if i had my daughter with me. But thats just me. You say you don't have a cell and may need to count on a stranger. My suggestion would be to get a cell phone....get a monthly service or a pre-paid phone and then you call someone you know and trust. There are many options out there and cell phones these days are not really expensive. Perhaps this is my opinion, but you can get a cell phone for $30 or so....You don't need to buy anything fancy and most people who do buy the fancy phones and pay the big buck, don't even use all of the phones features.
just~me
I don't give to beggers,
I don't give to beggers, especially the ones standing by the freeways. I find it odd that they are out there. My husband will roll down the window...they come running...and he tells them, you know this is state property and you are trespassing. haha. Too funny! I feel they have places to go, church, organizations, etc for help. I work for one, so help is out there. I sometimes hand them fliers about my organization so if they really wanted help, you can get it. I pay tax dollars for the State programs, which so many others use.
There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one!
GlendaleMom - thats kind of
GlendaleMom - thats kind of mean. ;0(
just~me
Again, it's just my opinion.
Again, it's just my opinion. I pay tax dollars for programs to help the needy. I find it mean that the "homeless" that is begging for money for food, is seen with a beer later on that day. Now that's mean.
There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one!
I agree with the last part
I agree with the last part about seeing them with a beer. (Not saying they all do this) But that's why i opt not to give. Because i know i would be irritated if i found out my money was going towards beer and not the "Gas" or "Food" they are asking for.
just~me
I tend to not give money to
I tend to not give money to people who approach me asking for handouts. But my daughters and I have come up with a solution that makes us feel we are at least doing something but not like we're helping pay for alcohol, drugs or whatever. We keep a case of water bottles in the van (right behind the front seat where I can reach it), and when we're approached (or see someone at an intersection), I simply hand them a bottle of water. That's something that anyone outside for long can use.
I used to work with someone who kept McDonald's gift certificates handy, and she'd hand those out, figuring that at least the person could get a burger or meal out of it.
I am more inclined to give
I am more inclined to give to a homeless person that I see living on the street, than I am to a well-dressed kid approaching me in the parking lot. I get a little annoyed by that too. However, I don't let it get to me. You never really know the whole situation.
Hobbymommy, 38, is a discussion leader from Mesa. She is a happy stay-at-home mommy to a 3-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son.
My husband and I balance
My husband and I balance each other out. He gives to anyone who asks b/c he feels that it isn't his place to question why that person is in that situation or what they might spend the money on. As for me, 99% of the time I just say "Sorry, I don't have any cash/change." I prefer to give my money to established charities.