I'm never sure when it's ok to hug my kids' friends (who are ages 11, 12 and 14.) When my guys were younger, their friends would hug me and my husband when we'd come to school to meet with the teacher, have lunch with one of the kids, help out in the classroom, etc. It was nothing formal --- one of them would just run over, give a quick embrace, then go back to whatever they were doing. It was nice for us and we hope it gave them a feeling of being appreciated and cared for.
But now that the kids are older (and in light of the various recent child / sex scandals) I'm no longer sure that hugging kids other than my own is a good idea. I don't encourage it, but there are still times when one of the friends will come up to me or my husband with arms open. I would never refuse a hug from a kid, but I worry that 1) it might look like something it's not to others and 2) by encouraging them to have such close contact with a non-family member, I'm making them more vulnerable to possible predators.
Any suggestions or ideas?
I don't have a suggestion or
I don't have a suggestion or an idea just an opinion. I personally don't care if I see other hug. How do other people know that you are not that kids family member in some way? Even if they did know you were not related what is the big deal?
I don't EVER watch the news or read the paper so I may be neive when it comes to the latest child / sex scandals. But I never for once put in my head or did it make me feel uncomfortable to hug or see a other hug. I feel bad for those that don't want to give hugs to show they are glad you are in their life. Take it in stride with a smile.
Hope these small words help some. Go for it. I'd give you a hug right now if you were here
I can't see anything wrong
I can't see anything wrong if they have initiated it and it is a normal, healthy hug. Which I am sure it is.
As kids get older, this seems to be more the trend I've notice -when I'm at school, kids give kind of side hugs. One arm around a shoulder, hip to hip.
Human touch and support is important, I hope our society doesn't become so pro-active against abuse that we forgo healthy interaction.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
I don't have an opinion on
I don't have an opinion on this topic either. I know would hug a child if they had their arms out to me. I do hug my daughter's best friend though. She's like family.
There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one!
I don't have a problem with
I don't have a problem with children giving hugs. I do see your point of not feeling comfortable though. I think you have to go with your gut feelings. Now, if you were the one asking for a hug, that is where things could get sticky.
My girls are younger than 11 so all our friends still hug each others children. I would like to think it can always happen. Only time will tell if things change as they get older.
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
Follow your heart. To me, a
Follow your heart. To me, a young person initiating a hug is the highest compliment to their friend (your child). We can't let the world get so hard and cold because of what someone might think that we reject the feelings of a young person. Your one hug may be the one thing they needed most that day....
If one of your children's
If one of your children's friends greats you with arms wide open, I think it is definitely appropriate to give them a hug. First of all, they most likely come from a family where hugging is an acceptable way to great someone else. I personally grew up in a family where hugging was not done, but then I married into a family where everyone hugs, so I often take the lead from those around me, and have not gone wrong in doing so.
Give them the hug - that's
Give them the hug - that's my opinion! They will know that you are someone they can go to when they need a hug - and that may help them more than you know someday. As far as making them vulnerable to predators? I hope they have had conversations with their parents by now about what is appropriate touching vs. inappropriate touching. I think most people recognize a friendly hug, and won't start calling you Mrs. Robinson ;-).
I say give the child a hug.
I say give the child a hug. My co-worker is currently deployed and her son goes to the same after school program as my daughter and everytime he sees me, he gives me a big hug. I know he misses his mom and if I can help make his day better, I don't care what others might think.
jesshod is an arizonamoms.com discussion leader living in Surprise.