i have a 6 year old daughter that is constantly reminding us that her 2 year old sister is getting all the attention. my husband and I believe that the 6 yr old gets more attention. now days the 2 yr old is doing a lot more of the silly things and we laugh about them or tell her to do it again. whether it's her dancing moves, playing sick, etc.. then my 6 yr old makes a comment saying we don't do that with her. we actually get her involved as much as possible. for example, if the 2yr old is acting "sick" then well call on our 6yr old nurs. my 6 yr old feels that we don't love her as much but we explain to her all the time that we love them equally. any ideas on how to address this one?
This happens in my house too
This happens in my house too except there's my three older daughters saying we favorite the baby. At first I'd call them silly but then I started feeling really bad about it. WHat I do now is constantly remind them of what they did when they were my youngest age. I remind each of them of their favorite song when they were smaller or remind them of something they did that was funny. I also journal unforgettable things they did and do. So next time your little one does something cute that you guys laugh about follow that with telling your oldest something that she did when she was little that you adored. Even if a memory of them just pops into my head I share it with my girls.Good luck.
Jennifer is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com and mommy to four beautiful girls who range from 9 to 4 years of age.
I've asked my kids to tell
I've asked my kids to tell me whether they love their right pinkie toe, or their left pinkie toe more. Of course, they stare at me like I'm nuts, and I explain that my kids are like that - a part of me. I can't love one more than the other, any more than they can love one toe over the other. They are equal. I explain that God made it impossible to love one child more than the other, and my kids seemed to take comfort from that.
I then explain that how their two favorite toys are different and that they play with them differently, but they sure don't "love" one toy more than the other. I ask them if they love daddy. When they say, "yes", I then tell them, "Oh so you don't love me?". Of course, they shake their heads. So, I ask them, "oh, so you mean that you can love more than one person?". This usually helps them put things in perspective.
TRY as much as possible to ignore your 6 yr old's protests for attention - negative attention is still attention, and will continue as long as she sees that it "gets" to you. Then, try as much as possible to get away alone with her (to the grocery, returning videos, etc.) and during those times, stress how delighted you are that she's old enough to have special talks with.
"Only a life lived for others, is the life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein
Actually, my kids would
Actually, my kids would outsmart me on that one, they'd answer me which toe they loved more!!!
I just tell them that love for your kids is something you don't love more or less, it grows every day and never gets less!
Single mom in Mesa to two great kids (8 & 10) and two great adults (18 & 20)
If you let yourself get put
If you let yourself get put into a situation where you're defending yourself to a 6 year-old, no matter what you say, nobody is going to feel any better.
The next time she raises the attention issue, point out the difference between being 2 and being 6, emphasizing that the 2 year-old is a baby, and the 6 year-old is a big girl.
For example, "When you were 2, I had to watch you every minute and pay attention to everything you did, because 2 year-olds can't be by themselves. Now that you're bigger, Daddy and I can do things with you that we can't do with her."
Then make a list with her of things to do together that the younger one couldn't participate in. It can be as simple as baking cookies. Then, follow through; one parent watching the 2 year-old while the other spends time with her.
And say, "I love you." A lot.