Ok so I would like to talk about My Space and Hannah Montana, Zoë 101 and other such shows.
Another mom posted about the girl who got beat up for her post on my space and the parent who didn’t take responsibility for her daughter’s actions.
I have a step daughter who is into my space deeply. I have her passwords and I am just disgusted by the things kids say and do on that site. She is 20 now and making casual hookups and taking disgusting surveys and posting pictures that are completely inappropriate, all this and more is nothing to her and the kids she has as her friends on this site. She finally had to move out of our home and in with her aunt because she was not willing to give up this horrible site and was putting the family including my 6 year old kids in danger with her behavior. Shows like ‘rock of love’ ‘flavor of love’ ‘the girls next door’ all say that this kind of behavior is appropriate and desirable and anything goes! I have never done even a quarter of the things she has done at her age and I’m only 34. I think the lure of these sites is the anonymity. You can say something and you don’t have to see a disapproving or shocked face when you do. This completely lowers kids bounders and then it’s anything goes. I do believe though that if they had to say that stuff that they write in person, they wouldn’t be able to do it!
I worry constantly about my children when they hit the teenage mark. Will they to want to be a part of that world because every other kid is doing it?
Which brings me to Hannah Montana and Zoë 101 and other such shows. My kids want to watch these shows and they have been told no, b/c they are written for teenagers and even though all their friends watch them, my kids watch spongebob and animal planet and other kid geared shows.
I know I probably seem really bitter (I am), but we did not raise my stepdaughter to be this way. We constantly talked about appropriate behavior, what does God want us to do, being a lady and having respect for yourself and others, letting her talk to us. She was in sports and band, she didn’t lack for anything. Not spoiled by any means, but you know she had her stuff that she earned with chores. We had typical rules for respect and harmony in the house, but the older she got the more she changed into this completely sexual creature who was all about what could she get?
Which brings me to responsibility? That mom and any parent for that matter who lets their kids grow up that way are doing their kids a great disservice. Those are the kids who grow up that we all work with. Who when anything goes wrong in the office it’s never their fault. They can always find a way to blame someone else. They use their education to beat people down and then they have kids of their own and the cycle continues.
I come from a very dysfunctional family. My mom was always “poor me”, but as a parent I refuse to raise my children that way. When I met my husband and he pointed out how much I was like my mother, even though I didn’t realize it, boy did I jump to change my behavior. You know what they say “It’s never too late to teach an old dog new tricks”.
As I always say when I post, I am not talking about any mom who does allow their children these things. If it works for you great. In my case it didn’t.
Well I’m done venting. I’ll be interested what other moms have to say…..
bookworm_mom ~ mommy of twins
You know how they say "You
You know how they say "You can lead the horse to water, but you can't force is to drink."? Well, you do what you can as a parent, you teach them the things you believe in and eventually they go thier own way and they either put into play what they learn or they rebel. She is obviously rebelling, and most likely she will hit bottom and she will need you to help pick up the pieces. As parents, we can support them and let them know our opinions and help them when they need it. As for tv, my kids are still small so I don't know about the whole Hannah Montana thing, every kid goes through a phase where they want to be famous and popular, the only thing I can think of to be okay is to tell them that they are perfect the way they are and they don't need to be anyone else to be themselves. My kids watch Veggie Tales and PBS so I don't really know about all of that.
Cruz Family Day Care
~Samantha Cruz
Mommy of 2 wild boys and love every minute of it.
You know how they say "You
You know how they say "You can lead the horse to water, but you can't force is to drink."? Well, you do what you can as a parent, you teach them the things you believe in and eventually they go thier own way and they either put into play what they learn or they rebel. She is obviously rebelling, and most likely she will hit bottom and she will need you to help pick up the pieces. As parents, we can support them and let them know our opinions and help them when they need it. As for tv, my kids are still small so I don't know about the whole Hannah Montana thing, every kid goes through a phase where they want to be famous and popular, the only thing I can think of to be okay is to tell them that they are perfect the way they are and they don't need to be anyone else to be themselves. My kids watch Veggie Tales and PBS so I don't really know about all of that.
Cruz Family Day Care
~Samantha Cruz
Mommy of 2 wild boys and love every minute of it.
I grew up in a very strict
I grew up in a very strict household and my mom was a stay-at-home mom so we did not get away with much growing up.
That said, I can tell you with great certainty, that when I was 19-20 years old, I was like a puppy off a leash, running around doing crazy, dangerous things, staying up all hours of the night, proactively trying to do just about everything my parents raised me NOT to do.
Now, here's a big difference. I left home when I was 18 and got a full time job and paid all of my own bills. I couldn't tell you how things would have been had I done the same while living at home. Trust me - I had every desire to spread my wings of independence so when I moved out, it was a permanent move.
In many ways, I wonder if my over-active exploration of this brand new world was because I had such a strict upbringing. As if somehow, I felt compelled to live life in fast-forward. If my parents had a front seat view to every thing I did back then, I am certain they would have asked me to leave as well.
I have a step-son who just became a teenager and I worry about how we'll manage the details of sound parenting. I know it will not be an easy road. Today's children grow up so much faster than we did. And, I too, worry about what the world will be like when our youngest (now 4) is a teenager. There are cartoons on Cartoon Network in the middle of the morning with characters throwing up and being rude - it's nothing like cartoons from when we were growing up.
The best plan I can think of is to lay a foundation of unconditional love with our children and every day do what you can to have a "great mom" moment to share with them. I really think that if I had that kind of relationship with BOTH my parents, I would have been a little less crazy (maybe?? ;-)). It's so easy to say these things in hindsight, eh?
Good luck to you.
Mouse_tales is a discussion leader in the East Valley for arizonamoms.com. She spends most of her days juggling her duties as a (bio & step) mom, wife, and business owner. Her three little kittens range in age from 5 to 13.
i hate to say it, but if
i hate to say it, but if you're trying to make her give up myspace for no reason, i don't blame her for rebelling, and if you're wondering why she's doing it, you only have yourself to blame.
oh. sorry, hit wrong button,
oh. sorry, hit wrong button, didn't mean to reply to your comment mousetales. (meant to click post new comment) sorry about that,
I think you meant to post to
I think you meant to post to me b/c mousetails didn't say anything about her daughter. If that's the case I would encourage you to read my post again and read about the things that she did to deserve the thinking of her parents about the complete inappropriateness (sp?) of "myspace"!
bookworm_mom ~ mommy of twins
i know, i clicked the reply
i know, i clicked the reply button to mousetales's comment without paying attention to what i was doing. i apologize for that. (i didn't realize that there was a "post new comment" button, i thought u could only reply. (my mistake.)
"i hate to say it, but if
"i hate to say it, but if you're trying to make her give up myspace for no reason, i don't blame her for rebelling, and if you're wondering why she's doing it, you only have yourself to blame."
I still would like for you to reread my orginal post in regards to your reply.
bookworm_mom ~ mommy of twins
Honestly, raising good
Honestly, raising good children is comparible to following a very picky recipe. Too much or too little and the dish is ruined. I think raising successful children is a combination of a lot of different factors; LUCK, good parents, good parenting, family support, good network of friends, discipline, experiences, social experiences, school experiences, environmental, and genetic. Let's face it... no one has the perfect recipe to raising a successful child. What works for one, doesn't always work for another. We're talking major differences in personalities, interests, and genetics. What might devastate one child for life, might make another child more determined to change things. I've witnessed GREAT parents do the best they could and end up with drug addicted children who ruined their lives. I've seen uninvolved parents attend college graduations. I've even seen abused children grow up well adjusted, happy, successful adults and parents.
Hannah Montana is not to blame. Neither are the parents always to blame. No matter how hard we try as parents, we cannot control personalities, genetics, and environmental factors that may shape our children into people we did not want them to be.
We simply have to try are hardest, do the best we can, and hope that our children will soar successfully without any major crashes.
Just my opinion...