Rude People!

There is no question that the woman who came up to you and made that comment was way out of line and well, rude!. Try not to let it get to you.

I get comments that my daughter is big and i laugh it off and say 'ya think so?" She is almost 17 months and at her 15 month appointment only weighed 20 1/4. The same exact weight as she was at her 1 year appointment. She hadn't gained an ounce. (concerned me at the time - but, thats an entirely different story) This puts her in the 13% i believe it was. We will see in a month where shes at.

I have a friend whose daughter is 3 months older than mine and she too weighed 20 lbs at 6 months. She got comments all the time about how big her baby was and still is. Although now that she is running around she has leaned out quite a bit.

just~me

It would have depended on my mood, but I would have been likely to say, "Well, you're overrunning your mouth."

My son is extremely tall for his age, so I have dealt with these sort of comments, too: "Isn't he a little old for a sippy sup?" He was 2. Or, "Should he still be carrying a stuff animal?" He was 4. (By the way, I think we should carry stuffed animals until we're dead.)

Honestly, I think you did the best thing in not getting into a conversation with her, just stating what your doctor has told you and moving on.

Over the years, I've learned that mom really does know best and when we want to know more or differently, we get that from the people who know and love our children, not from strangers in grocery stores.

Karina Bland is raising her 9-year-old son in Tempe with a lot of love, humor and support from her friends and family. A longtime journalist covering child welfare and education issues for The Arizona Republic, she blogs about raising good kids.

Although this really upset you, try not to. People are amazing how they think they are helping when in reality it is the reverse. My girlfriend's daughter had a red like blister on her forehead (I can't remember the medical term for it) it eventually went away, but not before some old lady in a grocery store yelled at her for bumping her child's head on the shelf.

I have heard stories from Moms that strangers always feel it is their duty to put in their 2 cents worth. Your child is cold, hungry, not dressed for the weather etc. The list really is endless. Hang in there. Like Karina said, Moms know best and by this we know our own children best!!

KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.

If I were in the right mood, I would have said, "I'm sorry, I think I missed the part where I asked for your opinion" and then walked away.

I think there have been some significant changes from when the older generation raised there kids to now (my mother told me to give my 6week old rice cereal to help him sleep through the night. I told her that was considered a very bad idea, and was generally thought not to work anyway). Unfortunately, some feel they've earned the right to tell you all about it.

so your kid's a good eater, so what. My son is now 2.5, and there's not a fat toddler in his group, and many of them were very chubby infants (one was 28lbs at 8mo, but he's also really really tall, but he was also very round. At 2.5 he's probably 38lbs, but he's the height of a 4yr old). And they all get moving and playing and building muscle and getting taller, and mostly the weight falls off. And if it doesn't worry about it then.

Also, fat helps build brains, so you're just setting her up to be really smart, right?

Try to just laugh it off. The woman obviously has nothing better to do than to judge you. And yes I get rude comments all the time. I have 4 children and people ( older woman usually) will say things like are you old enough to have all those kids? or you started young, or how old were you when you had your first?! and things along those lines. I am a very young mom 26 and my oldest is nine but that is noone's business. I dont let it bother me anymore and I have even ignored people before. My answer now is a smile and usually a smart comment back like old enough. One time someone even asked me if I was feeding my baby. I sacarstically answered no I starve my children and I said with a smile. :)

Jennifer is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com and mommy to four beautiful girls who range from 9 to 4 years of age.

Try to just laugh it off. The woman obviously has nothing better to do than to judge you. And yes I get rude comments all the time. I have 4 children and people ( older woman usually) will say things like are you old enough to have all those kids? or you started young, or how old were you when you had your first?! and things along those lines. I am a very young mom 26 and my oldest is nine but that is noone's business. I dont let it bother me anymore and I have even ignored people before. My answer now is a smile and usually a smart comment back like old enough. One time someone even asked me if I was feeding my baby. I sacarstically answered no I starve my children and I said it with a smile. :)

Jennifer is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com and mommy to four beautiful girls who range from 9 to 4 years of age.

You did the right thing. You basically said the "well according to my doctor...." and gave her the facts. People are so much ruder now a days. And as horrible as it is, people overshare opinions a lot. Try not to let it hurt your feelings. Obviously since you had discussed with the doctor you were concern to about it. Keep in mind that you can't control other people's mouths and actions just your own. Oh and just to reassure you a little, my best friend had a 10 lb 9 oz baby (yes mom she gave vaginal birth to that) and just recently (he'll be 2 in June) she said that he's completely slimmed down from his baby fat.

"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."

Thank you guys so much for the responses! I feel a lot better. To be honest, the reason I was so upset was because....well, I questioned myself for months about how much I was feeding her. I also had family members telling me that she was getting to much to eat.

I had tried EVERYTHING to make sure that she wasn't just eating out of boredom - walks, play time, naps, reading books, etc. - and then I came to terms with the fact that she had a big appetite and loves to drink her bottles. She had a lot of problems when she was born - the nurse mistakenly gave her a bottle with fast-flow nipples, and by the time we realized it, she was in the NICU for 3 days because she was throwing everything up. Sometimes I think that this is the reason she has such a big appetite. (I couldn't breastfeed right away because I had an unexpected C-section and a major allergic reaction to the medicine they used to put me under - long story).

She rarely spits/throws up which is why I'm confident that she's not getting too many calories. Also, she drinks her bottle very quickly and then is ready to play. She's a wonderful baby - smiling, happy, not gassy, etc! She also sleeps 12-13 hours per night so at least she's getting all of the nutrition in the daytime (and hopefully burning it off with play time!).

http://www.phxgrocerydeals.com

Old people are sooo freakn cooky sometimes!!! They can be rude and have no tact... My daughter at around 14 months was so constipated and one time I was out to eat with a friend and my daughter was fussing b/c she needed to go #2. I made countless trips to the bathroom with no luck each time. I felt so sorry for her. One of the trips an older lady at the table next to us ask my friend what was wrong. My friend explained and when I came back to the table the lady (in her late 60's) Told me that she had to have her sons anal stretched at that age b/c he had that problem, he was in his 40's now. She said I would be doing a diservice to my baby if I didn't do this b/c it had helped her son so much...WHAT THE HECK? HOW WEIRD WAS THAT? HOW SCREWED UP IS THAT!! My mouth dropped open in shock...

Your daughter is fine! Tons of baby's are chunky infants. ALL of them are totally normal in size when they are kids.. My son was this way. He's 11 and was a 10 lb baby. He may have been a big baby but now just the same size as all the other kids.. AT age 2 they are all the same size. My daughter who is 2 now, I WISH she was chunky!! I wanted so bad one of those sweet little baby pictures where the baby is on their belly laying on a blanket without anything on just sleepign or looking up at the camera... Let's just say that with my daughter we tried it and it looked really weird.. Hug your baby and love the fact that she is sooo cute, they grow so fast that you will miss all that baby chub soon... I bet she is just adorable!!!

Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children.

Okay - that was just the funniest stream of notes to read. All those funny stories!!!
Like a column in Parents magazine! :)

Happy2BMommy, is a stay-at-home mom who just turned 40 (argh!) with a 7 yr. old daughter and a 5 yr. old son, and is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Scottsdale.

My baby was very large too, and my Aunts would tell me that big babies become big adults.
I was a very heavy baby and I'm not overweight. I don't think you should have become mad over it.
It does make you think about it, but like my baby, he just ate every 2 hours. Your baby will slim down once it begins crawling and walking.
It may hurt my feelings for someone to tell me, but I think you just did more damage to your own body by getting all out of shape over what someone said.
I would had started talking myself and asked for her advise.
She probably thought you were rude too by storming off.
I guess thats why we have road rage so bad.

One Happy Mom in Arizona.

My son is big for his age as well(and very tall). When he was just shy of 6 months(and 23lbs!) we were at the grocery store and the cashier kept waving at him and he, of course, did not wave back. She said, "well, my baby waved at a year old!" And I said, " well my son isn't even 6 months old, so I guess that is why he didn't wave. Maybe you should mind your own business!" She looked mortified and tried to explain that she thought he was older......

I also had an old man in Sprouts tell me that he thought kids this age(my son was 18months) should be "drawn and quartered!" For those of you who don't know what that means, it is when a prisoner has each limb tied to 4 separate horses, someone fires a pistol to scare the horses so they run off and rip the limbs off of someone so they bleed to death. I told him that it was unfortunate for me that his mother didn't feel the same way and as a mother I was quite sure that his mother was rolling in her grave to hear him speak about a child that way. What a jerk!

Yes, he actually said that! My little one was say more, more, more because I was giving him a little snack while we were shopping. He was just being a normal 18 month old who was hungry. People say the dumbest and sometimes the meanest things! Makes me really think twice before I open my mouth to say anything that could be construed as a criticism.....

No doubt the lady could have kept that to herself. I was carrying my daughter in my arms one time when she was about 2 months old and someone walked by me and said, "That baby should be in a carrier". Seriously. I just looked at her like she was crazy... because she was.
But she was like 30.
Can we please stop with the age-ism? "Fat old lady" "Old jerk" "Old people can be cooky". That's way more rude than someone making a passing comment that should roll off your back if you have any kind of self-control. There is a LOT that our kids can learn from people of other generations and alot that they should learn. I have parents who had me later in life and they were both the youngest in their families, so all of my aunts and uncles are in their 80's and 90's. Not one of these people would ever dream of speaking to anyone like that. There are "cooky" people everywhere. Be careful what you say around your kids. I hear people say they don't like old people all the time and it's hurtful. You won't always be a 30-something mommy. Imagine being all alone in the world and not being able to do a lot of things for yourself.
Sorry about the soap box :) I just think people are people, regardless...

I have an article cut out in my son's baby book from some parenting magazine which says fat babies are statistically smarter than other babies, they may not have said "fat" but that was the jist. (I'm sure the next month featured how "normal" sized babies were smarter, and the next month how "small" babies are... but I didn't cut those out. LOL)

Anyway, as a mother of a 9.5 pound baby, who was a hunky little mister, I just rejoiced in his healthy, rolly happiness. When Mexican ladies called him a "gordito" then told me it means he's handsome, I just smiled and said he is fat and handsome and I wouldn't have him any other way.

Today he is a healthy, athletic, solid but not overweight, very smart boy. I hope you look back on this with the last laugh too!

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

I think you handled it well. I might not have been as kind. When I was pregnant, I couldn't believe all the inappropriate things strangers said to me - the worst was, are you going to breastfeed? That's so personal and yet people just thought it was OK to put me on the spot about that in the check out line at Target.

Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 7 and 3.