I read somewhere awhile back that the average kid's first "sexual" experience (I shudder to think it, but it went beyond kissing) was self-reported to happen somewhere between the ages of 9 and 13. I was stunned. 9??? That's 3rd or 4th grade!
Am I naive, or hopelessly out of touch? Those numbers--even in a media-saturated, MTV world--seem a bit suspect. If true, then what a change, and I have my work cut out for me. Personally, I only knew one person in my own elementary school who was sexually active when I was a kid--and that girl was 6th grade, which was considered scandalous then. We all knew because she got pregnant and had to leave school--most of us only knew as much as we'd seen on fimstrips or learned in euphemistic books--an ignorance which was probably just as dangerous, really.
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YIKES!!!! My daughter turns
YIKES!!!! My daughter turns 9 in April. I think that is way to young. I would have to say that those stats have to be wrong. I am just shaking my head....
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
Who did the study? What
Who did the study? What were the questions asked? What was the margin of error? Do you mean that a lot of 9yr olds, or at least 1? I don't think you can make any judgements without more information. My own guess is that the survey was framed to get a low age, but that's just a gut feeling, there's no info here to go with.
as scary as it sounds, part
as scary as it sounds, part of it is to blame it on the hormones in the milk you buy at the grocery stores for premature sexual development...
More and more diary companies are starting to sell non BHT (something like that) dairy products which is a PLUS. Shamrock is one of them - thank GOODNESS!
My stepdaughter is 13 years old and she concerns me BIG TIME. She doesn't even look like a 13 year old child. She looks older and her body is developing pretty fast. And I have 2 girls of my own and I am already nervous about it.
H~
Mom of 2 Daughters - Kelly (3 yrs) and Skylar (21 mos old)
zoostationu2@hotmail.com
I'm wondering where you read
I'm wondering where you read this.... and also what "the average kid" means.
According to the CDC, in 2005, 34% of 9th graders reported having had sex and 63% of 12th grade students reported having had sex. Ten percent of boys reported having had sex before the age of 13 and four percent of girls reported having had sex before the age of 13.
I'd be a little skeptical of what you read without knowing the stats/studies behind it. But at the same time, realistically I don't believe that 9 years old is too young to start talking about sex (in age appropriate terms) since so many girls are starting their periods younger these days. Yes, unfortunately, we moms do have our work cut out for us!! Sad, but true.
DesertMom
http://ppdsurvivor.blogspot.com
As kids start entering
As kids start entering puberty, their bodies get flooded with hormones that say "It's time to spread the gene pool! Get out there and make some babies, proliferate your genes so they survive!" This is natural, if not socially or culturally acceptable at the age where puberty generally starts, and we as parents need to remember that. I think those numbers may be a bit on the low side age-wise, but I do tend to think that a fair number of kids have started experimenting by the age of 13 or 14.
Ultimately, kids are going to experiment, with or without their parents knowing about it. The best we can do is to make sure that we've taught our kids as thoroughly and safely as we possible can.
Personally, I'm of the opinion that the safest thing a parent can do is to support their child in practicing safe sex instead of trying to totally keep them from experimenting. Teach them everything you can about the good and bad parts of sex, the dangers of disease and predators, and what to do if someone tries to force sex on you. Give them access to condoms, and drill into them that you don't have sex without it, period. Give them a safe place (once they're 15-17 or so) to experiment with an agemate. "I would be happier if you didn't have sex at all, but if you do find someone around your age that you really want to try things with, it's OK to bring them home and use your own bedroom. I'll make myself scarce, but I'll be reachable if you really need me for anything." (Yes, that's pretty much exactly what my parents told me. And I wound up not even experimenting until after I was 18.)
They *will* experiment, whether or not you want them to. History is exceptionally clear on the subject of sexual experimentation even when it was important to be a virgin bride. Sex happens, especially when young bodies are flooded with hormones designed to ensure that very thing. If kids are supported and educated, they're much more likely to do so in a safe manner, in a safe location. If they don't know a thing about it, you're opening them up to all kinds of diseases and emotional and physical dangers.
In case you can't tell, I happen to think that so-called "Abstinence education" is absolute and utter bull guano, and is in fact dangerous to the health and safety of teenagers. Me? I want my boys bolstered in safety and enjoyment when they find that special girl (or guy, you never know, but there will be no need for closets in this household) by a good, solid education.