Move in - Potty Train Patrol

I don't know, seems like a win/win. Why not give potty training a try. If it doesn't work what's lost? AND if it works, you have one HUGE less thing to worry about once the new baby is here. By having someone else do it, if it doesn't work, it can be "try with Mommy" in a few months. I wonder if there is another reason you don't want to try? If you don't want someone else in your house during this tiring time, that is a good reason, or if you are afraid it won't work and they'll stay until it does, that is one thing, but usually you know if it is going to work in a matter of days. And you can give them a ___ day limit, so they know they have to leave after ___ days, successful or not. My son was 2 1/2 when he learned so age is flexible. If you feel they are just butting in and they do it a lot - that is annoying, but seems like they are trying to give you a gift that will keep on giving. Wish I had this offer, I'd take it up in a minute!

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

Trust your judgment! Obviously, you don't think your son is ready for potty training, and there must be some reason for you to think that. Trust your judgment, and by all means, don't let these well-meaning family members override you. You and your husband are the responsible parents here, and the only ones who can make this decision. Now, I don't think there's any harm in introducing the concepts of potty training to your child before they're ready--we attempted potty training our daughter 3 times before she was ready. When she finally was ready--she announced "I want to use the potty and wear panties and not wear diapers"--she knew what was involved in using the potty, and all we had to do was start. She had a few accidents after that, but the transition was relatively painless because she already knew what was expected. So I think it's ok to introduce the idea to your son, but if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't allow the relatives to take over the potty training process, if only to emphasize your own authority in the situation. And, by the way, for the first couple of months, having a potty trained kid is almost harder to deal with. They go 15 times a day, and they usually need your help every time, with wiping and handwashing. Having them in diapers is almost easier, so I don't think having your child newly potty trained will be much easier with your new baby.

I'd go with your son's lead, I've always heard a child will do it when they're ready .... he won't still be in diapers when he's 5 either ... so who ever it is that's in a hurry to get him trained should just take a step back and relax and let him do it when he's ready. A lot of times children are not physically ready if their body hasn't developed that sense of knowing when you have to go and if that's the case, then he's not going to do it if you force the issue or not. I also think a lot of times if the child is not ready and you try and force it on them, they may respond by getting upset, refusing to use it, or the actual potty being a negative thing and then not wanting to do it at all. I know I went through a few times with my daughter where I thought she was ready, she showed interest, she'd use it when she had to go and when she could get there before she'd already gone, but it would only be for a few days and then she'd lose complete interest in it. Then a few months later the same thing would happen again; this happened a few times before the real deal. I think it's best for them to do it when they're ready, every child is different and will be ready at different times. I can't imagine anyone coming into my house to potty train my child, I mean it's not their worry whether or not you have 2 in diapers when your other baby is born so I'm not quite sure why the would be so adamant about training him!! Go with your own instinct, mother instinct is best!!

My pediatrician said not to worry about even starting potty training until our son was at least 30 months old because boys just aren't as ready as girls. We got him trained by 3 but that's only because our daycare required it.
Potty training is not a fun process and, as you know, a new baby is a lot of work (though much easier the second time around). Tackling both is going to be a challenge. It might not be a bad idea to give it a try now and see if he's interested.

Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 7 and 3.

Do what you want to do. You can't push a child if they are not ready and everything I have read says that. If they want to try when they are there, great. But if your child is not interested, they need to back off and let it lie. I am in the middle of trying with my 27 month old and she does it at daycare more than at home with us! But she is sitting on it at least, but nothing coming out just yet! A month ago, she wanted nothing to do with it. It just takes time. Don't feel pressured.

Regardless of whether you feel your son is ready for potty training or not, it is *your* house. They have absolutely no right whatsoever to arbitrarily determine that they're going to move in with you to potty train your son. That is, unless they happen to be paying your mortgage payments and insurance and bills. That is your decision and your husband's decision, not theirs, and you should firmly inform them that they do *not* have the right to try to take over your house. And you should feel no guilt whatsoever about informing them that if they show up unannounced, they will be staying in a motel of their choice, not in your guest room.

Your house. Your rules. They don't have the right to move in without your approval and permission. Regardless of whether or not they're family, I strongly feel that that particular aspect is entirely inappropriate for them to even be contemplating, much less seriously suggesting when you've already clearly said that it's against your wishes.

Potty training should be your call. Just like all other parenting decisions.

But if you are looking for a way to train quickly, consider enrolling your son in daycare (besides it may be a great help in transitioning your child to school). I don't know if or how often you might use daycare, but I will tell you peer pressure works. I hardly did anything (daycare/preschool was a must for me because of my job) and the kids learned quickly (they had to be trained to go into the next classroom after turning 3). The key was the kids just had to be "big" kids like their friends.

Good luck to you!

Arizona Moms Editor Yvette Armendariz shares stories about raising her kids and tips for busy parents in her Time-starved (goddess) Mom blog. She and her husband are raising two children, ages 8 and 11.