Since dads aren't chatting, I'll post something. I'm sure some are reading here.
I have a friend who just became a new dad (I'm friends with mom, too). I know there were things I wanted my husband to do for me after the birth that I didn't tell him. I think I wanted my hubby to read my mind. I know this doesn't happen, so I'm taking an opportunity to tell my friend and other new dads what new momma may be needing.
I'm hoping some of the moms in this chat room can help with some advice, too.
I know my friend is taking time off. That would be an immediate suggestion to other dads, especially if they can afford time off.
Other suggestions: buy her a pedicure. She'll appreciate the break, and her feet are still aching from all the pregnancy swelling.
Help out with dinner, laundry, whatever. Just because she's on maternity leave doesn't mean she has time to do everything. It's exhausting caring for a new baby, particularly if she's nursing.
If you don't know how to help, ask. Don't assume everything is fine just because she's taking care of stuff. And moms, men aren't talkers, so tell him how he can help, thank him for it and then tell him how much it means to you that he's helping. Compliments go a long way with men. Affirmation, affirmation, affirmation I say!
Other thoughts?
she's not nursing, offer to
she's not nursing, offer to get up at night for some of the feedings so she can sleep!!
Don't forget to pick up a
Don't forget to pick up a paper the day of the birth. Or as LisaMommy (in another chat) found out, it's expense to get one if the local paper runs out of your day. The service she found charges more than $70 and the paper won't necessarily come from your town or state.
love it, such good advice.
love it, such good advice. He could also compliment and affirm her. One of my favorite things my husband did was kiss me on the forehead and say "thanks" as we looked down on our new baby, now foreheads together. I know I didn't really have much control over the wonderful process, but it was nice that he appreciated my role in it before the birth and now with a baby. Having your first child is such a naive, sweet and stressful time, moments when you can just put your heads together and glow are pure gold.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
When I was a new Mom still
When I was a new Mom still on maternity leave, one of the things my husband did that was so awesomely great was to immediately take our daughter from me when he got home from work. After spending sometimes 9-10 hours with her superglued to me all day long, it was nice to be able to let him take care of her for a bit while I cooked dinner or just relaxed. Sometimes he'd even put her in the stroller and go for a half hour walk around the block so my ears could stop ringing from the crying!
Another thing he did was to help out with the dishes, laundry, house cleaning, and short trips to the grocery store. Sometimes I'd have to ask him to help out with those things, but at least half the time he'd do it himself.
It was too bad that I couldn't nurse our daughter, but it was fortunate in that my husband and I could trade off on the nighttime feedings. Definitely a good thing!!!
One other suggestion would be to run interference for visitors. Some new Mom's don't mind family and friends coming by to see them and the new baby, but others might need more time to adjust and feel up to it. I had a complicated induced labor and delivery, and I really wish my husband had been more proactive in limiting visitors to our house in the first few weeks after we returned home. So that's something to consider.
I would say don't lose your
I would say don't lose your temper and stomp around becuase you can't stand the sound of the incessant crying those first few months......and don't pout because you think no one is paying attention to you......and do something useful like clean or make dinner!
Thanks ladies. All great
Thanks ladies. All great suggestions that my friend is sure to benefit from.
I know this conversation
I know this conversation seemed to end a while back, but I have a friend who recently had a baby and loved when her husband offered to watch the baby for the day so she could get out of the house. She, of course, felt guilty being away - and couldn't stay out long - but she totally loved a little alone time to shop for new clothes (especially since she was heading back to work).