Church on Sunday is a wonderful place for spiritual enrichment, or conversely, if you are attending with children, it can try your patience to the point where you really hope the vengeful God of the Old Testament was a typo.
This past week we were in attendance and I had to virtually sit on our 11 year old as he behaved for the first 20 minutes of the service as if he were a Tai Chi instructor. Mind you, this child can sit and read for hours and barely move a muscle, but put him in church and the line of ants into the pants is nonstop. If there is such a condition as church induced Tourette syndrome, he has it, and just like on the old time televangelists shows, as soon as we leave - HE IS CURED! On the plus side, he has never become involved in a fistfight during a service as have his two younger brothers.
It started innocently enough during the sign of peace (when participants are encouraged to shake hands) and Cole and Alex dutifully shook each others hands. Apparently Cole was squeezing just a little too hard for Alex’ liking, so he did what anyone else would have done in those circumstances in a house of worship, he punched Cole in the face with his free hand. Fortunately I was near enough to grab Cole as he bear hugged his younger brother in an attempt to eliminate the air from his lungs while quickly explaining to those around that he really, really loved his brother and was simply over exuberant in his show of affectation. Pretty sure no one bought it.
Far more bearable are the slip-ups and misunderstandings that lead to such things as Cole belting out in song “YAO MING IN THE HIGHEST”. Granted, Yao is definitely high up there height wise and a pretty good basketball player to boot, but it seemed a bit early to begin a religion based on him. Then there was this past week when Alex looked up at me during a period of quiet reflection for the congregation and asked in his full Mini Me/Barry White voice “Hey, how do you spell Mississippi again?”
I suppose it is really telling when you run into your pastor in a non-church setting and tell him enthusiastically, "Hi Father, nice sermon this past week. We were in the back of the church." To which he calmly replies. "I know." Oops.
Steve Macias
You know, there's always
You know, there's always Sunday school......
DesertMom
http://ppdsurvivor.blogspot.com
Just a note to our mom
Just a note to our mom chatters...I had asked Steve to blog for us a while back. He takes a humorous look at raising kids from the dad's perspective...something I think moms can appreciate. :)
Thanks for coming back, Steve. I'm sure many of us missed your humor. :)
Arizona Moms Editor Yvette Armendariz shares stories about raising her kids and tips for busy parents in her Time-starved (goddess) Mom blog. She and her husband are raising two children, ages 8 and 11.
sounds like me and my
sounds like me and my sister at church,, but my mom liked sitting in the front.. And we changed church's a few times.. Because my sister and I embarrased my mom..I remember going to the hispanic baptist church over by Van Buren and 29th Ave.. we got into a fight cause the kids were teasing us cause we are mexican but can't speak spanish, except the bad words,, anyway we beat up a couple of kids during sunday school, but as I say they started it because they continued to tease, we just ended it.. But off to a new church the following sunday.. Fond Memories..haha My poor mom, I can remember her face exactly that day..
" just my Opinion" LOL
I can totally relate.
I can totally relate. Thankfully my daughter enjoys the children's church, otherwise she and her brother would be arguing through the entire sermon.
Our son doesn't like the children's church because he doesn't think he has any friends there. I'm sure if he went, he'd see a few buddies from school. So, when we go (we haven't in a while and the guilt is getting to me), he sits with ants in his pants in the family section of the church in the way back. I think they created that section for a reason. :)
I keep a number puzzle in my
I keep a number puzzle in my purse for just this type of occasion. I didn't take my kids to church today, but my friends did, so I handed the puzzle to their squirmy daughter and she was quiet as a mouse for about 10 minutes until her slightly older brother wanted the puzzle. It is the kind where you slide the numbers around to put them in order 1 - 15 from Restoration Hardware. I figure my kids (their kids) will still soak up some churchly message by sitting still, and let others pay better attention too.
I realize you might have to get a man purse to have this handy, or ask your wife. Whatever works for you, I tell you this thing is also good at dr. offices, the DMV, etc., etc.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.