Hey guys,
I think this is more of a way to vent. For those who are not impressed with the system handling children's affairs of seperated children.
FYI - Another new BLOG has opened for this at the ANCPR.com
I am a single un-wed father that has been fighting for custody and parental rights of my daughter since she was 3 months old. She is now 4 years old and still waiting for the courts to sign me joint rights. I have my daughter 4 days a week.
Current battle -
Stubborn mother is threatening to de-enroll 4 year old daughter from Pre-school. She is put into pre-school while I have her for 2.5 hours a day.
Mother moved into Pinal county two weeks ago.
QUESTION: Does anyone know if in Phoenix a parent is allowed to place their child in any district or school system they want? I was under the influence that we had to put our children in the same district we lived in.
QUESTION: Has anyone else known of a father to get full custody?
single DAD vs. stubborn MOM
I think that you can get a
I think that you can get a boundary exemption.....and I if I am not mistaken, some cities have open enrollment, but you should call the school district directly if you really want an answer to that question. My son attends private school in a city that is different than the one we live in, and we had to file an affadavit with the county since we were not enrolling him in public school.
As for the question about a man getting full custody - I wish you the best of luck with that, but you definitely have an uphill battle on your hands. In Arizona, a woman would pretty much have to be a convicted serial killer to lose custody of her kids - or give it up willingly. I have heard of drug addicts, alcoholics, abusers(or moms with abusive boyfreinds)and general nut cases retaining custody over the more qualified father, because the courts almost always favor the mom, no matter who she is. I think things are changing - slowly - but it is still very unfair to men. Get a good, aggressive lawyer and document whatever evidence that you have that you are the more fit parent.
Enrollment is not a decision
Enrollment is not a decision made by each city, it's actually made by the school districts themself. If you research open enrollment on the Arizona Department of Education website you will find some information on open enrollment and the various school districts that offer it, which by the looks of it is just about every major school district in the state.
As far as answering your question about whether a parent is allowed to place their child in any district or school they want, that would depend on your custody situation and the way it has been agreed upon in your custody papers. The way you worded things, it sounds like at this time you have no custody rights, which would mean, yes your child's mother could enroll your child in any school district or school she wanted to. Unfortunately, with not having custody at all, your rights and decision making is basically none, and all of the decisions are up to your childs mother. When you are granted joint custody, she then will have to consult with you about various life situations affecting your childs life, i.e. education, medical, religion, etc. but until there's an actual custody order in place, your hands are pretty much tied. I know probably not what you want to hear.
With out trying to get too personal, what is the hold up? I know from my personal experience the custody proceedings were pretty cut and dry and fairly expidited and didn't take longer than 6 months or so. I can't imagine what could drag it out for years.
Good luck to you!!!
I feel your pain. I share a
I feel your pain. I share a child with my xhusband and I can tell you from experience, my own plus others I have seen, that some people just like to hate and fight.
If you are looking for an answer, look and see what is in the best interest of the child. Is the mom so horrible? What would serve the child best? From what it sounds like, she certinally benefits from visits with you and I commend you for remaining involved. But why do you care so much about the custody? Why are you torturing yourself? Are you able to be a positive influence on her life? I am sure you are. Is it a pain that mom makes big descions without you? I am sure it is!
But take it from someone who knows - pick the hills you want to die on. The courts see these things hour0by-hour. They can seperate the wheat from the shaft pretty quickly. If you want to win, choose the things that are really important, outline your case and stick to it. Anything argument laced in hate, power and ego struggles will go right out the door with any judge with a pulse. So pick you battles wisely and with pure intention for the child and you'll do fine!
Best of luck to you. I know it aint easy!
not all women are
not all women are stubborn
Pam
Pam Miller
*sigh*.................Pam...
*sigh*.................Pam...........did you bother to read what this man had to say? I did, and I didn't come away with the idea that he was trying to say ALL women are stubborn, just that he feels his child's mother is. Your comment was totally irrelevant to this discussion.
If you read through your
If you read through your judges minute entries (http://www.courtminutes.maricopa.gov/), you might find that there are similar entries matching yours. Some judges just like to side one way more than the other.
Now.... best interest of the child. I love it when people through that comment around. What is in the best interest of the child? Well, both parents being together in a loving, caring marriage would have been great... but that didn't happen. Now, it's in the best interest of the child(ren) to be in duel homes where they can benefit from the experience and love of both parents, even though the parents can't live together. You will find that there is a vast majority of people in the world that feel that the process of having duel homes is horrible for the kids. In turn, when you are the one that loves your kids, and want to spend all the time in the world with them, and it's taken away from you and the kids, you see that it's the kids that are suffering, not you.
Let's disregard the stubborn part of the comments, since they are irrelevant. Now, take away the negative connotation of some select people and let’s deal with the facts that we know.
Your children’s mom is moving and wants to put the kids in a different school. Do you have joint legal custody? If not, petition the court and/or talk to your parenting coordinator (since all judges love to hand these people out to us) about the issues and try to resolve it. If you don’t have joint-legal custody spelled out in your decree, you cannot make a stink about it. Read up on the family law if necessary… goto http://www.azleg.gov/ArizonaRevisedStatutes.asp?Title=25
In specific –
25-402. Definitions
In this article, unless the context otherwise requires:
1. "Joint custody" means joint legal custody or joint physical custody, or both.
2. "Joint legal custody" means the condition under which both parents share legal custody and neither parent's rights are superior, except with respect to specified decisions as set forth by the court or the parents in the final judgment or order.
3. "Joint physical custody" means the condition under which the physical residence of the child is shared by the parents in a manner that assures that the child has substantially equal time and contact with both parents.
4. "Parenting time" means the condition under which a parent has the right to have a child physically placed with the parent and the right and responsibility to make, during that placement, routine daily decisions regarding the child's care consistent with the major decisions made by a person having legal custody.
5. "Sole custody" means the condition under which one person has legal custody.
You need to continue on… obviously, you have learned that the court system has failed most of us, but now that your child is older, maybe you have a chance. I would let things rest for 6 months in the way of custody. Read the regs… they will tell you what you can fight for and not. Most judges will give you more time when the child(ren) are over 3 years old. Fight for 50/50, not for sole custody. No child needs to have exclusive access to only one parent. Talk to your ex, find out what her deal is…. I’ll bet she will say, “It’s not in the best interest….” – because that is always the excuse. She has no more right than you do to say what is in the best interest of the kids. You need to find an agreement, and without her help, it won’t happen. My divorce was not perfect, and I am sure that it is far from over, and I don’t see the kids as much as I should, but I spend every moment that they are with me like it is the last time that I will ever get to see them again!
Good luck… join the group (I had to put that in there… goto the AZ Father’s Rights Forum and you’ll see it at the end of every message from one of the member’s – which I not a member).
Yes - some men get full
Yes - some men get full custody. We just aren't part of that small 1% of them! Now - stop wanting full and just try to get 50/50, as that is what is best for everyone!
Again - good luck!
Yes, my husband has full
Yes, my husband has full custody of my stepdaughter...so it is possible. As far as changing schools/districts, if she has sole custody, she can do that. We have our kids in a private school that is out of our district but closer to our works and there is no problem with our children's other halves (bio parent). Have you filed paperwork to modify custody, visitation and support? Seems like you have grounds for joint custody...and today's system is all for joint custody as long as its in the best interest of the child.
There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one!
I grew up with a single
I grew up with a single father who had full custody, so it can happen.
My brother is a single father and the advice he has received is to keep a log of everything your child's mother does that is NOT in the best interest of the child. He got hearing very quickly...I am not exactly sure how, especially since he was self-repesenting. I will ask him and let you know.
Mouse_tales is a discussion leader in the East Valley for arizonamoms.com. She spends most of her days juggling her duties as a mom, wife, and business owner. Her three little kittens range in age from 4 to 13.
I am from Alabama and I can
I am from Alabama and I can tell you, the courts here are differnet. They help women and don't bother if the Dad has full custody. My ex daughter in law whom I loved as my own and still love but hate for what she has done. She was having an affair the entire 6 yrs that my son and her were married. Had 2 wonderful sons. One has a lung disease and the other has autism but both are beautiful and my heart. She left when the older son at age 5 was disgnosed with lung disease. She then moved in with her boyfriend...got pregnant again and had a daughter. They got a divorse. She gave my son full custody of both boys..The court ordered child support from her. a small amount of 50.00 a week for both children. She doesn't pay it. She has missed court dates 4 times straight. they finally put her in jail for content and let her out still no support. She calls the boys once every month and then maybe 3 times the next month then not for 2 months. It is an in and out whenever she wants too which hurts the boys so much. they don't understand. So how do you think the court would treat a guy if it was turned around. I think that it sucks and should be put to any parent. man or woman who does not help to support and be in their child/ren's life after divorce. They should be divorcing their mate not their children.