We had an interesting conference with our son's teacher recently. He completed some standardized tests and based upon results, she's recommending we move him up to "honors" level courses. In the "average" classes, he's thriving and focused. He does his homework willingly and quickly (which hasn't always been the case,) and says he enjoys school (which hasn't always been the case). Interestingly, many of his friends are already in the honors classes, but he has mixed feelings about the suggestion to move up. He's clearly enjoying the feeling of being someone important in class--of building up his sense of confidence and competence and success by being at the top of the "average" classes. He is flattered on one hand by the teacher's recommendation, and terrified on the other. Small wonder. I'm curious whether others have been in my shoes--or his. Is risking a loss of his new-found confidence and self-starter behavior (his teachers are wonderful at grooming his readiness for learning) a necessary casualty to get him a label that buys status and additional opportunity in and our of school? Is getting your gifted but anxious child on the honors track the best thing for the child?
I so want to say yes, but I do have some reservations.
Rhonda, it's a tough
Rhonda, it's a tough decision. I know. And every child is sooo different.
I went through a similar dilemma earlier this year.
My daugther, who I always felt was a gifted reader, got the chance to move up to third grade math. She's in second. I was surprised, and it was 4 or 5 weeks into the school year when we were approached.
I had told her teacher that teach night that Julia mentioned being bored in class. The school did some standardized tests, and yes, she had mastered all but four of the 17 math concepts required in second grade. (She's a fast and fluid reader, but hadn't mastered as many of the language arts concepts). My immediate gut was to move her up in math. We want her challenged.
She had reservations, too. She didn't want to be the only one. She wasn't. We told her another girl in her class did that and five second graders do it. That made her feel better.
The key to our decision not to move her up was the timing. We had a week to decide. After speaking with the third grade teacher, I felt Julia already missed out on so much of the review (much would have been new for her). She also started waffling about wanting to go.
I will say while the school principal recommended it originally, but Julia's teacher worried about Julia's ability to stay focused in a new grade. She socializes just a bit in class....don't know where she gets it. :) The teacher and I spoke a good half hour about it. She said she'd back my decision, but I knew she had reservations.
She also assured me that she could keep Julia challenged....and I'm seeing that work regularly, so I know it's happpening.
In your case, the teacher wants it. But I'd suggest talking to the honors teacher and parents of those students. Find out more about how other students adjusted and what they will be learning. Is it that different than what is learned in the regular class or is it "tougher" in the sense that they must be more creative in expressing their thoughts about the subject?
Sometimes kids need to be encouraged. And I don't mean to go for the challenge. Sometime encouraging/building self esteem is better than moving up a grade. You can always find challenges outside of doing the honors route. You know what he's learning (we seem to get tons of papers back...I'm sure you do too), so talk about it as it applies to everyday life.
When I got the opportunity to take honors or Advanced Placement (AP) classes in jr. high/hs, I did it. But only because I really wanted to. I didn't exactly like getting a B, but I wanted to be challenged and so did my friends.
My mom says my sister was asked to move up a full grade - and all those years I thought she was smart, but not THAT smart :) - but my sister didn't. She, of course, excelled. But for her, mom says, it was important to be with her friends...I haven't asked about the self esteem part, but she's a pretty confident adult...and very successful in her field. (I'm a proud sis!) Not moving ahead didn't hurt her in any way.
I hope I've helped with things to think about. Parents have such tough decisions to make.
Arizona Moms Editor Yvette Armendariz shares stories about raising her kids and tips for busy parents in her Time-starved (goddess) Mom blog. She and her husband are raising two children, ages 8 and 11.
I was an A student, but
I was an A student, but never tested "gifted" so when the gifted students went to another school for their program, I was left. I got to be 8th grade Valdictorian, National Junior Honor Society President, etc. I think it was probably good for me and my self confidence. Now in this century, my son has tested "highly gifted" and transferred to another school with other who tested the same (only 2 kids his K did). He is adjusting well. We worried the same as you. He had been quite popular and would this change anything. Truthfully he's doing fine. There are new friends who are "normal", and others who fit the awkward "highly gifted" stereotype. One thing the teachers told us when we were trying to decide is "What do you have to lose?" "If it doesn't work out, come back."
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
You are right to have a few
You are right to have a few reservations - only you know your child's personality, but speaking from personal experience, I think you need to be careful of falling into the "gifted" trap. I tested way ahead of other children when I started school - I was reading books and entered kindergarten at 4, so I was always the youngest and smallest in class. I was also at the top of all of my classes and made straight A's all the way up until 6th grade. My parents bragged on me incessantly.
However, when I inevitably encountered classmates who was smarter - I really fell apart. I felt immense pressure to always be "the best", and when I wasn't it was difficult to handle. For all my academic excellence, I was woefully underdeveloped socially and was usually the odd person out...I had a naturally introverted personality, we moved around a lot so I was always the new kid, and being "different" from all of the other kids didn't help matters. By the time I got to Junior High, I was tired of being the "dork" and tired of working so hard, and I started living what we'll call a "faster lifestyle", because those kids would accept just about anyone who was willing to party. I barely graduated High School. I am not saying I blame my parents for this, because I made some bad choice and took the easy way out many times, but I think they overlooked the fact that I wasn't developing socially at the same rate I was academically and was too immature to handle myself properly........................
Now that I am a mother, I worry about my son falling into the same trap, but we are like night and day........he's got a very strong personality,is a natural leader , makes friends easily and is much more self assured than I ever was. When we went to enroll him in Kindergarten, we were surprised to find that since he had a September birthday the school recommended giving him another year of pre-k, and not sending him to Kindergarten until he was 6.....even though he was academically ready for Kindergarten,they said that especially for boys, it is better for them to have more time to mature socially. We pondered on this......and the n I thought "What's the rush??? It isn't a race to see who can make it through school the fastest, after all"..................I think that sometimes parents want to push their kids ahead so that they can brag about how smart they are, as if it is a reflection of their parenting skills or their good genetics, and they don't stop to think of giving the child time to just enjoy being a child. I have been happy our decison not to push him into kindergarten at 5...I think he could have handled it, but I didn't see the benefit of rushing him along. Now - he's the oldest in his class(he'll be driving his sophomore year - he'll be "the man"...lol), and he's doing very well - his report cards are all excellent, and he is very well developed socially and we always get comments on how mature he is for his age and what a good leader he is. To me, this is as important as his academic development. He is one grade ahead in math only - he goes to the next grade up for that subject - which I was wary of, but so far, so good. I would not have been disappointed if he were never asked to move ahead, though, as long as he was making a sincere effort and was well adjusted and happy...I am not interested in pushing him at a breakneck pace.
What grade is your son in???
What grade is your son in??? My answer to this really depends on the grade. I have dealt with this off and on when my older two were in elementary, middle and now in high school. In elementary school movement up and/or back is a whole lot easier than in high school and in middle school can be crucial to the track your child takes in high school. There is one truth I'ved learned though...never let your child be moved two grades ahead...ever!!! Let me know what grade your child is in please!
He's in 6th grade.
He's in 6th grade.
It's been an interesting
It's been an interesting week.
We decided to keep him where he is in language arts, because both levels use the same text, and he's really blossoming under his current teacher's approach. Math is a bit different. We're currently "test driving" the pre-algebra math class, because the challenge would be useful, and he's probably capable of doing it, though it would be a struggle. Interestingly, however, as I've been talking to some of the honors parents this week, they are considering moving their own children down a notch in math, because in this particular level none of them are doing very well, and all are starting to hate math. NOT a goal of ours, of course... So we'll see what happens by the end of the week.
As long as your son can
As long as your son can handle the movement mentally, then moving him around in this grade can really work out. I say mentally, because if you have to move him back, he needs to be able to handle it well and look at it philosophically instead of taking it personally. Our experience is that if we didn't get our kids settled in middle school, their high school years would be affected.
Our older one got pushed way too far ahead and we had to adjust courses these last few years to help him. He still takes advanced courses but only in those areas he thinks he will need for college and beyond. So if your child wants to be a doctor or excels in math and sciences, make sure the advanced classes they take are in those areas in which they can really concentrate and get good grades. We agreed that my son will do nothing in the social studies areas so he doesn't take honors or AP social studies classes that require an extraordinary amount of work. He is at grade level in Spanish, too. Doing it this way takes the pressure off him a bit and allows him to concentrate on those courses that matter.
In middle school, he got way too wrapped around the axle with school work and didn't pay attention to his friends much. Believe it or not, the next year we had to make him go out on Friday nights to get him to loosen up and have a bit of fun once in a while! And, we had to make the changes to his schedule that would allow him to achieve a healthy balance between friends, family and school. There was a noticeable sigh of relief when he found that balance...for all of us!
For your son, his course work should cater to his strengths. Those areas he's weaker in are good places to let him be. Now would be the time to check what your high school requires for students transitioning from middle school to high school. Ours does not let students into honors classes without students testing into them. If a child isn't in honors in middle school, they generally can't test into them in high school. Keeping an eye on the long term (without letting it rule you!) can help in the long run.
Thank you for the thoughtful
Thank you for the thoughtful comments. We are looking toward the future, and are, unfortunately, very aware of the tracking going on from Middle School on up (Average, Advanced, Honors/AP)
We will be keeping an eye on his progress and development, but also on keeping a healthy balance. So far, things seems to be working.
Rhonda, I too had a similar
Rhonda, I too had a similar problem when my daughter was entering high school.She was a strong "B" student when her science teacher suggested she take honor's biology in high school. I worried about how she would handle the pressure. I consulted my dad ( a retired doctor and the smartest man I know) who replied, if you raise the bar she'll have something to work towards, if not she'll never know what she could have done. Well! Not only did she excel in that class, she continued with honors and then AP classes throughout her high school years. She developed such self esteem that she ran for Student Body Secretary her senior year and WON! She has been the chairperson of so many numerous commitees, I've lost count. She graduated in 2005 with a weighed GPA of 4.53 and got a full scholarship to ASU. She attends the WP Carey School of Business, was elected to the Pennilinic Board( I'm sure that spelling is wrong but it's the board that oversees all sorrorities at ASU) and she has had a part time job throughout her school years. She's a junior now in college and has a GPA of 3.93. She accredits her success with that one honor's class. On the other hand I had a friend who sheltered her daughter all through school, had her classified so her work load wouldn't be too difficult and made excuses for every problem she had in life. Not surprisingly, this girl is foundering. I think I would tell your son that you feel confident that he has what it takes to do well in this class and that of course you would be very proud if he chose to take it on, however that the ultimate desicion is his.I hope this helps.