So, I stay at home with our only child-13mo old son. I realize that with all the one-on-one contact we have, it is expected to have 'clingyness', or separation anxiety.
I was wondering if you any of you SAHM can tell me how you handled it, or how long it lasted. For my son, this all started at about 10.5 mo or so. He does well when people are around if I'm around-he doesn't act shy or anything. We've gotten to the point that when we go to church dad takes him to nursery to help with any issues he may have. And daddy has been putting Jacob down at bed time more-I'm trying to get dad doing it more like 3-4 nights/wk, opposed to the 1-2 nights that it used to be.
I appreciate the love my child has for me, but when I am trying to accomplish something and he is crying, it is hard. I can't always drop what I'm doing and attend to him right then. Please don't get me wrong...I don't just let him cry and cry. And, actually it is rare that he cries...he is normally quite happy. I'm just trying to feel out other parents and how long their boys reacted this way with mom. Just trying to prepare myself. :)
I have had this experience,
I have had this experience, even though I'm not a SAHM. My youngest son has been in day care most of his life and he still clings to me over dad at every turn, even though my husband is a very active and involved parent (he does half of the parenting). It has gotten to be less; there was a point when he was constantly following me around and wanting to be held. I think that was just after he turned a year. I think what you're doing to get dad involved is great - keep doing that, and be sure to get out on your own and let the two of them have one-on-one time. My older son has grown out of this and is starting to appreciate the cool "male" things he gets to do with dad. I suspect eventually they'll want little to do with Mom and will hang out most with dad. Hang in there!
GopherGirl is a discussion follower. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and two boys, ages 4 and 2.
Hang in there, this time
Hang in there, this time will go quicker than it seems. I also, was not a stay at home mom when the kids were small, but I only worked part time then and my mother watched them when I did not, so Nana was a good alternative for them. It was when my son went to preschool that things finally changed in regard to clinging. At first, he was reluctant to leave my side, but once he started going to preschool that all changed. He went to a beginner preschool class when he was 2 and 1/2 for just a couple of hours a morning two days a week and that really helped him, by the time he went to a more in depth preschool experience at 3 years old I could barely get him to say goodbye.
I think it is great that you are getting your husband involved. It will only strengthen their bond for the future.
JuneSlager is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com, raising three children (ages 15, 14, & 11) in Northeast Phoenix.
We went through this with
We went through this with our son and the thing that really seemed to help was joining a play group where our son was around other kids his age and mom was nearby but not playing with him the whole time. Dad's help is a must too! I would also look for various "distractions" like pots and pans to bang on or a special kitchen drawer to go through when I was trying to get something done and needed him to entertain himself.
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azpond is a discussion leader for arizonamoms and mother of two.
It's completely normal. I am
It's completely normal. I am a SAHM too and my older son did not have the clingyness with me - moreso with daddy - once daddy comes home from work it was like a whole new adventure. However, with my younger son I see he is getting into the clingy stage now - he's going on 7 months (this Thursday). I cannot walk away to get a tissue or turn my back to wash a spoon when he gets upset and starts to cry. I know it's hard. What I've begun doing is during his play time I put him on the mat with all his toys and I bring my laptop and get a few emails done. He is entertained by playing with his toys and practicing belly time and I'm right in front of him sitting with my laptop. He is content. I also on occasion will put him in the baby bjorn and do a few things around the house (put a load to wash or pick up around the house) with him in cart. I know it sounds crazy, but it works. Also, as he has begun getting heavier I got a free stroller at BabiesRUs (you know how when you purchase an item you sometimes get a free stroller or something.) Well, that stroller is not something I'd use outside of the house (i have too much carry ons) and so I've decided to use it around the house only. I just cart him around the house in the stroller while I do some things from one room to the other. he loves it. just find what works for you and baby.
LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 9 months and 3 years old.
My son is doing exactly what
My son is doing exactly what your 7mo is doing...absolutely has a breakdown the moment I leave the room. But as soon as I return (usually just seconds) everything is fine.
I have had opportunity to get out of the house a bit more, and it has given my husband a lot more time with our son, and there is no problem normally with any anxiety. Dad is involved very much-as much as can be expected for someone who works.
Thanks for the advice so far.
I know that it's a phase...it doesn't help that he's also cutting up to 4 teeth right now. Thankfully he's still sleeping through the night.