Am I too much of an idealist?

I have been afraid my son was going to have a label like that also. He has had a hard time adjusting and cries for me a lot. I always ask how he did and if there is anything I can do different to helpthe situation. I have never heard them call him "the crier" and they always try to make me feel at ease. I think it is also wrong for them to label the kids. He will just think he is suppose to cry if they call him the crier. I dont live on your side of town so I am not sure what is out there but I do think you should talk to the director. If the problem continues I would switch providers.

I agree with you! Kids have cycles and moods and to be labeled might force them into a certain behavior because that's what their caretaker expects.

I have never been responsible for a group of kids at one time and I admire the patience of those that do this, HOWEVER, if I were to have a group, and even if I did feel that I had a "crier" or "loud one", I would NEVER let it show! I would give the children encouragement in order to work through these issues. You are so right...if she is not embracing these personalities, you need to find someone who will!!!

How old is your son? Where do you live??

p.s. I lived in Poughkeepsie about 10 yrs ago!

What kind of daycare setting are you in? Group, home, nanny, etc?

I would switch daycare providers. We've had luck with a large center here on the East side. The benefit of the large center is that there is backup for any one teacher, and it sounds like yours is overwhelmed.

Some people consider group daycare to be a little too "B.F. Skinner", but we've been quite pleased.

Oh my, I hate it when people "label" kids....and so early at that. I have heard of the labeling thing in grade school but not as early as day care. I think that really sets a bad tone or a bad attitude to begin with. As the children go on it starts to become a confidence problem because they have been pegged for something they did once or when they had a bad week or whatever....IT STICKS WITH THEM PEOPLE!! Honestly, I would just tell them you don't appreciate that she is putting a label on your child. You do pay her to take the best care of your child and that's what you should get.

Cruz Family Day Care
~Samantha Cruz

Mommy of 2 wild boys and love every minute of it.

Okay..."Poughkeepsie"???? I have to ask - It that where you're from? We technically lived in Poughkeepsie (mailing address), but it was really more like Hyde Park. I went to Roosevelt HS.

Anyway, I'm with you on the idealism! I want a LONG TERM chiildcare relationship for my kids. My kids had one sitter for three years and I expected her to be coming to their graduations! But, then her husband died unexpectantly and she decided that she needed to move out of state to be with her family. I searched for 6 months for a replacement sitter and stressed the fact that I did not want to do this to them again in a year. The new sitter was young, energetic, enthusiatic and a ASU elementary edu grad. BUT, she was new to daycare. She reassured me over and over again that she was starting something that she loved and would be doing it for years, so I took a chance. She gave my boys excellent care, very personal attention. She took them fishing! She attended their school functions, etc. BUT, as feared, she underestimated the impact home daycare would have on her husband. She got pregnant and quit after 6 months. My boys were so sad. I've been filling in with family for the summer, but I'm searching again and this time very gun shy! I respect that home daycare providers are running a business, but these are children - not "clients". They bond and care. I'm on the hunt again for someone who will be like a favorite Aunt to them and who will be there for the long haul...maybe to see go to their graduations!

I don't think that you're being ideaistic at all. But, I might be too! I guess that I don't think that I'm asking too much, because I was a nanny myself for 3 years and cared about each child (and their cousins) as individuals and would never have dreamed of labeling them, even in my own mind. I guess that's why that mom loved me!

But, I'm optimistic and will continue searching for that ideal situation.

"Only a life lived for others, is the life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein

I can not really speak to this occurring in a daycare situation, but I can totally relate to what you are saying in regards to labeling children. In working in a school for so many years, I would always cringe when a teacher would talk about a particular student in such a manner. Don't get me wrong there are many wonderful teachers and day care providers who are respectful of kids and go out of there way not to label, but those who are not even aware for the most part of their bias are often the most damaging.
My middle son was definitely labeled by a couple of teachers in the past, and it certainly did not help that he followed his sister (just 14 months older) so closely in school. We always thought it affected him to an extent, but it was not until we moved halfway across the country that we realized exactly how much it had been affecting him. By moving to a new school with new teachers that had no preconceptions, we saw his slate wiped clean and he absolutely blossomed. He is now a self-motivated, excellent student that excels in numerous activities. Sometimes, I wish we had moved him sooner, if we had only known the results ahead of time I think we would have.
I don't know what your relationship is with your day care provider, but if it is a good one in regards to being able to chat with her, I would definitely try and express your feelings to her. It is so difficult to find a good daycare environment for your child that you feel comfortable with and that you know is right for you child. I certainly hope you find the right one. Take care.

JuneSlager is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com, raising three children (ages 15, 14, & 11) in Northeast Phoenix.

I think these are all stages that the providers are talking about and not necessary trying to label them for life.
My mom said I cried all the time at day care, so I assume they told her that I cried a lot. That didn't mean I grew up as the biggest crying baby in town just because the provider knew me as the crying baby.
My son runs and makes lots of noise and likes to climb right now. If a provider told me about this behavior, then I would totally agree with her because it would decribe him. She wouldn't be lying. Do I think he will continue this behavior because the provider told me. Do I think the provider labeled him for life. I don't think so. Plus, its only stages and I am completely aware of them all. I hope my son is not running around making lots of noise and climbing at age 36 just because the provider described him this way at age 18 months.
Plus, I would want to know what behavior my child is acting out at day care. I don't care what the behavior is, just tell me, so I can help him at home, or come up with a solution for him at day care. If you are around kids all day, its very easy to know the crying babies, good babies, playful, reserved, cheerful, biters, hitters, climbers, etc. I don't think the provider is trying to say something bad to cause the child to turn out like a monster when it grows up, but only describing the stage at the moment. You know your child better than anyone. If its the truth, then the truth must hurt. Other wise, accept it only as a stage and accept it until the child grows out of it.

One Happy Mom in Arizona.