Daycare Advice Please!

My daughter started daycare very early about 6 weeks in fact, and she never really had any sort of anxiety, but I was kind of expecting her too after she got older.

When I was young, and my parents divorced they had joint custody I was about 3 years old. My parents had to stop because I kept just crying and crying. To make the story short they found that me going from place to place was kind of tramatic. After they stopped doing it that way I seemed to get a lot better.

Kids like a very structured environment, and being able to have a schedule. My honest opinion would be to let him stay at daycare longer. Probably just needs more time for adjustment. Nobody replaces loving parents and grandparents, but the older they are getting into daycare the harder the adjustment. You also have to trust your provider to know that they will be fine, and try not to show any sadness for leaving them at daycare. Kids pick up on that and want to leave.

Another option is I'm not sure if this is actual daycare or home daycare, but I started my daughter out at a regular daycare and they weren't all they were cut out to be. I'd pick her up and she'd be completely red from just crying all day long. I did random checks and found out they were just letting her scream her head off not checking on her and she was swaddled in a blanket with a zipper and screaming her lungs out. They told me she liked to be held too much (I'm not a mom that overly holds my child she would cry if she needed something, and I'm not a spoiler either so keep that in mind).

Remember you don't get to see what happens, and that's why it's important to make random checks at busy times to make sure he is being properly cared for, and do it at different times different days. He may be reacting to something that you aren't aware or can see what's going on. Also the people at this daycare were super nice too, but were kind of rude when I would make these checks. You don't have to do it all of the time, but just remember that you are paying them for a service to take care of the most important person in your life. Go with your gut, and never look back or feel bad. I'm sure I sound mean, but take it from someone who knows.

I found an awesome home daycare provider that was licensed, and Scarlette never turns back ever. Did so well after I started taking her there at 6 weeks. No more red faces. And she basically bolts into the door and I don't see her anymore. I hope you can find the same for your child, and I hope it works out. Also check this out. My gal is Susan's daycare in Tempe. The biggest yard, and the kids are pretty much outside playing all day. They come home hungry, dirty and happy. Good luck to you, and your little guy.

http://hsapps.azdhs.gov/ls/sod/SearchProv.aspx?type=CC

Lisa - Mom to her spunky little Scarlette

I agree, it probably matters less where your child is (assuming all the options are quality options), then the fact that he is there everyday.

Also, there is a natural adjustment stage going on developmentally at this age, and you haven't been going that long, so I would ride it out some more.

Kids are starting to figure out they don't control every situation at this age (even if it sometimes seems like they do LOL) and some kids take that loss of control better than others. But they all get over it eventually.

It sounds like you're being fairly consistent in your dropoff and pickup, and that's the best thing you can do. Aside from that, find out what the grandparents do after he wakes up from nap. Is their routine significantly different than the daycare's: do they snuggle up your son a whole lot and kind of ease him out of nap, because the daycare likely doesn't have the bandwith to do that, so it upsets him that the routine is different. That would be my guess anyway.

My kids did well at a small home daycare. I felt that they bonded better with one, consistent caregiver. Also, they always wound up being the only baby there, most of the time. They came to think of their caregiver as a favorite Aunt and thrived in the "home" atmosphere. I recommend quality home care for a child so young.

"Only a life lived for others, is the life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein

I think children become more mature and learn so much when they are around other kids more than two days a week.
I have a 19 mth old that I use to watch only 2 days a week because he stayed with grandma and grandpa before he became full-time. He was the worse about being scared of everything, including new faces, and he also snatched toys from other kids. Now, after coming 5 days a week, he is more adjusted to the environment, becoming more mature, and learning that he can't snatch toys from others.
Of course at grandmas they are in their comfort zone and every toy belongs to them. It's amazing to see the difference. I think it helps them tremendously in so many ways to attend a child care more then two days, plus, they become adjusted to the environment faster.

One Happy Mom in Arizona.

Hi there! The way I see it is, He is probably used to getting lots and lots of attention which is a good thing and sometimes when there in such a big daycare facility there not getting as much attention as they are used to. Plus, its all new just like when you get a new job or started a new school yourself. I would give it a couple more weeks but if you are still having doubts, dont ignore them. You want your child to have the love, attention and fun they deserve. Daycare should not feel like torture when you leave. How is he when you pick him up? There are so many Daycares maybe you just havent found the right one. Good Luck! I hope it gets better.

When my youngest moved from the baby room to a toddler room at day care, I wanted to send him two days a week. But it was really tough for him to get in a groove and the staff suggested three days in a row. That did the trick.
Drop offs were still pretty teary though. One day, I accidentally let him carry in his sippy cup ( I usually don't bring one because the teachers want the kids to learn to drink from regular cups) and he was very calm when I left. After that, I just left him carry in the sippy and put it in the fridge - for whatever reason, that was calming to him.
Maybe you can try something similar after naptime - the staff could give him a special stuffed animal or something?
Good luck.

Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 7 and 3.

alot of kids like to be in there invirnment. as a nanny and also working in daycares I have seen what works might not work for the other. but maybe you should find a nanny for him
kristina

Perhaps it's the late start at a daycare center so it's just taking longer to adjust or perhaps his grandparents hold him a lot and he's not use to not being held as much? I prefer daycare due to set standards, more eyes around, schedules. I prefer in-home for personalized attention. Tough call! Good luck!!

There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one!