I am about 1 - 2 weeks away from giving birth to my first child, a little girl who will be named Genevieve. I am extremely scared & nervous about her coming into the world right now because my husband just recently had 6 small Strokes & now has brain damage that effects him both physically with strength & walking stability/endurance & on all mental levels (confusion, mood swings, knowing right from wrong, just back & forth between acting like himself one minute & being the good smart grown man I know- to acting like an Alzheimers patient or a 7 year old having a loud tantrum the next.) I make no exaggerations here about how bad it is on his "bad days". I'm stressed beyond my limits which has been very bad for the baby. I have been the only one working since November 2007 when he had to quit with his health declining from his Diabetes giving him severe nerve damage when the diabetic pills stopped working & we had to put him on insulin & let his body heal....well, he ended up never getting better, only worse, until we find out recently the hard way that it's because he's been having these small Strokes this whole time. After him needing to spend a week in the hospital this month, we found out the Strokes are from his out of control Diabetes enflaming parts of his brain, his outrageous Cholesterol blocking certain veins in his brain, his smoking heavily since he was 11 which restricts blood flow, all the years of playing he rock bands & drinking that he used to do, etc... He's only 39 years old. ...All of this while we have not had insurance coverage... needless to say, I am BROKE and unable to even afford our own groceries each week since I spend so much on his prescriptions & our various bills & debts. I am in desperate need of someone who could watch my daughter while I'm at work during the day since he doctors said my husband is unable to. I don't have family or friends that are around to help, everyone is working like me. I could only afford to offer a few dollars each day. I'm nervous because my time is limited, I only get 2 weeks vacation from my work to stay home, after that where is she going to go? PLEASE HELP!!! Does anyone have a trust worthy Daycare in the NW Phoenix (near my house) or Scottsdale area (near my work) who'd be willing to help a desperate mom out for awhile until her husband finally gets Disability Checks & State Assistance coming in about 3 months??
Anne
My heart absolutely breaks
My heart absolutely breaks for your situation. Regardless of the cause of this you have a brand new baby that needs a lot more than just the cheapest daycare you can find. Is there any way possible to get on some sort of assistance until your situation is improved? Does your employer have any flexibility at all? I am a speech pathologist so I have worked with many patients that have neurological problems such as your husbands and I agree that leaving the baby with him is probably not the best idea. Does he have any type of home health visits during his recovery period? If he does talk to them and see what kinds of programs the state can provide for you. I pray that things work out with what is best for the baby.
Do one thing before your
Do one thing before your child is born. I know it sounds weird, but talk with her and let her know that the stress in your life is not her fault. She needs to be healthy and know she is loved. The more you can talk with her about what a blessing she is I think the better for everyone. I am not in your area to assist. Do you belong to a church that might have a support network for you? Good luck.
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
My gosh! I am so sorry that
My gosh! I am so sorry that you are going through all of this by yourself. I will say a prayer for you and your family. I wish I could help, but am too far away. God Bless you and I know that beautiful Genevieve will give you joy in a time of grief and hope in a time of dispair.
Go to az211.gov . IT is a
Go to az211.gov . IT is a website that talks about free or low cost daycare provided through the department of economic security, where you can get an application, and contact information. I hope that helps!
I iam in East Mesa and watch
I iam in East Mesa and watch children during the week.
I also have a 17 month old.
If you ever need someone to talk to or need help with your baby on stressful days, please let me know.
There are people out there to help you. Also, let your nurses know whats going on at home, because they can always point you in the right direction. That baby is everyones concern. At least you are reaching out for help. You will realize the baby is going to bring you so much joy. I pray your husband gets better.
One Happy Mom in Arizona.
I pray for you and your
I pray for you and your family , I agree with the other ladies let your baby know now that she will have love no matter what the situation .
I do know of a lady who does low income family's but she lives pretty far away from you are in the goodyear / avondale area and I know for a fact she would be willing to help but I don't think you want to travel that far .
God bless you and good luck hope you find that right person
I'm so sorry for you...I
I'm so sorry for you...I agree with an above poster and contact the link she provided. I live in the NW Valley as well and if you ever need help please contact me phoenixgrlkim1@yahoo.com. If you worked nights, I would gladly help you with care until you got on your feet. The only other option I can give you is maybe ask a couple of neighbors that are stay at home moms that might now about your situation and can offer help.
Good luck to you.
"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."
I agree got to az211.gov.
I agree got to az211.gov. But also, has your husband been declared disabled in the eyes of social security. You should at the very least start this process. If you can get him on medicaid, you may be able to get him into an adult daycare program that could help with keeping him social and perhaps even his rehabilation program. You need a break from him as well. As much as you love him, you need a break where you don't have to take care of him or the baby at least once in a while to preserve your own sanity. It's a huge undertaking.
Is your husband's diabetes well managed now? Has he stopped smoking? It is important for diabetics not to smoke, as the side effects are much greater than in the average population. So if he can quit, that would be a good thing.
google diabetes support groups in your area. They can set you up with some better information. And you may be able to use that network to get some relief.
You don't have to do everything alone.
Hey Girl, I'm so sorry about
Hey Girl,
I'm so sorry about your situation. What helped me when I went on Maternity leave was realizing that I was actually paying for short term disability from my work check. IF you are you are in luck because they will pay for 6 weeks of you not working. Some of them only pay 60% of your income, but it is better than nothing, and you would be able to recover and bond with your child. I'm not sure what kind of insurance you are on, but I believe if you are on ACHESS that they may pay a portion of day care expenses, and if you are not on ACHESS you might want to check it out. I'm so sorry about your situation having a child is stress enough, but dealing with medical stuff is a whole new ball game. I won't pretend to understand what you are going through, but please know that you are in my thoughts.
Lisa - Mom to her spunky little Scarlette
You may qualify for
You may qualify for state-funded day care. Call the Department of Economic Security and ask about it.
Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 7 and 3.
The only thing I can think
The only thing I can think of that hasn't been mentioned is your local churches. They may know someone or have a program that could help. Good luck - I wish the best for you.
I feel for you and your
I feel for you and your family! Just like the other Moms have said, call the Department of Economic Security. They can help you with childcare assistance. Then call my friend Rose at Over the Rainbow Preschool at 602-588-0151. She can get you signed up for the infant room and possibly waive any fees until your assistance kicks in. The infant room and preschool far surpass any expectations we have ever had for childcare. I hope everything works out for your family in this difficult time. Good luck with your new little baby.