Get Ready for day care

My good friend, Linda, gave me this advice when I had to leave my son at child care at age 18 months. Take him to visit the place and let him try out the centers, toys and outside play gear but only let him play with each thing for a few minutes before scooting him along to the next thing. And then it's time to go, leaving him wanting more. When you go back, he may toddle off happily to play without a backward glance. I said good-bye but he didn't seem to mind. (I, however, cried in the car the whole way to work.)

After the first few days, he did cry a few times when I left but by then we had established a good-bye ritual, so I would kiss and hug him and then tell him I would see him later. A few days of that, and he was perfectly fine. That first week or two will be a difficult transition for you both, but you'll get through it.

My boy had a marvelous time at that little place, The Family School in Phoenix. He planted a garden, painted by dipping the wheels of little cars in paint and running them across paper, played music, made his own little friends and fell in love with Teacher Shelia.

Karina Bland is raising her 9-year-old son in Tempe with a lot of love, humor and support from her friends and family. A longtime journalist covering child welfare and education issues for The Arizona Republic, she blogs about raising good kids.

I think your 18 month old will have fun with the new sights, new friends and new toys. Just make sure to remain calm yourself so you are not showing your own apprehension, anxiety etc. (normal mom stuff) Kids pick up on our emotions! Good luck!

Mom of teenage boys!

I agree with the other posters that your son will likely be fine. However, I must warn you that 18mo is smack dab in the middle of some brain exploding control issues that may make him cry, even though he's happy after you leave.

Around that age, they start to catch on to the fact that you have a life independent of him, and he's not in control of that, so he may not want you to leave, even though he doesn't really want you to stay either. My son went through this, and his teacher (Ms. Barb, who he loved and was wonderful) would let me know that he'd be happily playing 3 minutes after I walked out the door, even though I left him screaming and crying. It subsided after a few months. My mother used to refer to it as the "Toddler Guilt Trip". Just be consistent and firm but kind, and you'll minimize it.

I am so glad that you posted here! I am experiencing the same thing right now with my 19 month old son who has been previously watched by grandparents. I am a nervous wreck! Have you already started childcare? We started Tuesday and I don't know if I can make it through this "transition" that everyone describes. How are you holding up?