5th Grade Cool List???

Ouch.....first of all, let me say that I am sorry that happened to your son. It is a shame that kids learn cruelty at such a young age, isn't it?
It would break my heart if something like that happened to my son - and on the flip side if I learned that he had participated in the draft of such a list, I would be completely disappointed in him. I was always the odd person out as a child, I was small, shy, sickly, and I preferred reading books to schoolyard games.......so I was often teased and bullied. Because of my past, I have made it a point to teach my son that he should treat each and every one of his classmates with the respect they deserve and remember that they are his brothers and sisters in Christ. He is much more self assured than I ever was, and I have tried to instill in him that God gave him leadership ability for a purpose and he should use his influence to stop bullying when he sees it.....and lead by example. I hope that he does.

If I were you, my first instinct would be to call the school and have them remove the list - but just based on my own personal experience that won't solve the underlying problem - the list authors will continue their reign of social terrorism and intimidation under the school's radar. I can't beleive that they don't already know about it, anyway. Tell your son that as difficult as it is - he has to believe in himself and ignore that kind of (inappropriate term). Unfortunately, it is part of life - a dark side to human nature - and he has to fortify himself against it. He has good friends that appreciate his wonderful qualities, so he should concentrate on that. One day school will be a distant memory....and no one will care about the labels in some stupid list a 5th grader put up on the bathroom wall.

Awww..my heart goes out to you and your son for having to deal with this, it's so sad and it is down right mean & pathetic and I totally think you should speak up and say something to the school. I'm sure the male teachers don't use the same bathrooms as the children so they probably haven't seen the list, but I have to think that janitors when cleaning the restrooms have to have seen it and they wouldn't have considered it garbage and taken it down and showed it to an administrator or someone who works there. I would consider this a form of bullying, maybe not directly, but certainly indirectly. That is such c-r-a-p I would be so on the phone or at the school; I guess I don't know what's in store for me beginning next year when my daughter starts kindergarten.

I would also mention to your son that while, at school, it seems like the "cool" or "popular" kids have it pretty good, they don't. How immature and insecure does someone have to be that he needs to see himself on a list of cool guys? Besides, to be "cool", you have to at least pretend to like the things the other kids like instead of the things you like.

Steven Spielberg was a nerd, but he gave us Star Wars. Bill Gates was a geek, but he gave us Windows, and is one of the richest men in the world.

You might also want to remind him that acne is a part of maturing; little boys don't get zits.

Ouch. I remember stuff like this from my 4th, 5th, 6th experience, actually it pretty much continues through school... cheerleaders and jocks get the glory, but they don't have to be the only ones having fun and doing well. I like the ideas of giving examples of George Lucas, Speilberg, and Gates as "nerds" who have changed the world.

I'd call the school and let them know the list is posted.

Give him a big hug and tell him you love him just the way he is, cool to some, nerd to some, but just the way God made him and absolutely valuable and loved and you wouldn't have him any other way. Maybe even write him a note so he can keep it if he wants...

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

I think this is absolutely horrible and should definately be brought to the school's attention. It is an unfortunate part of growing up. HOWEVER, in today's society, you just don't know when something like this could turn deadly. The school should be taking action to curb bullying as much as possible. Not everyone is as well adjusted as your son and the worst thing would be to hear of yet another school shooting.

Thanks for all the comments! I did call the school (anonymously so my son wouldn't catch more grief) and told them what was told to me. I don't know if the school "knew" about this and chose not to address it, or didn't and now has too, but I feel I did the best thing (and lets just hope the school actually addresses the root of the issue). My husband disagreed with me calling until I pointed out had a list been written about his daughter he would have called or had her mother call immediately. In that instance it made me realize that guys and boys are just not as sensitive to these things are girls are.

As far as my son goes, he will survive. I did point out to him that he has tons of friends and if by having acne and glasses and liking something different maybe him nerdy, than join the club of a lot of famous people out there. I reminded him that I too had acne, glasses and also was shy and chubby at that age and that he will grow into his own as he gets older (I think I look pretty ok as an adult lol). I told him that there will always be mean people who try to hurt others and put them down but it's only to make them seem better as a person. Then I encouraged him to ignore the list and if a "drafter" comes up and teases him about being nerdy to say, "at least I know who I am and that's a good person, what can you say about yourself." Then for the closing I made a joke about it being in the boys bathroom (not the girls) and said, "if it's posted there, it's not like the girls are reading it!"

Hopefully, my calling the school and the pep talk helped and we can move forward!

"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."