Okay, now take a deep breath.
My soon to be stepdaughter (I can't stand that term) will be 7 next month. I've known her for about 10 months. She is in 1st grade, wild little spinning top. She eats like a monkey, with her hands, can hardly use fork and spoon. At school, she barks in class, has been sent home 29 times for "behavior issues" since the fall..... She is very loving, almost too much. She is smart, one on one, she is attentive, focused, and very eager to learn.
Dirty, sometimes even unclean smelling, her feet alone could empty malls during the after Thanksgiving Day Sales. She doesn't know her ABC's can only count to 20ish, can "almost" write letters... It is sad, so very sad. There is an older brother by one year, and an older half sister 14yrs, and both have many issues. The older sister tries her best to care of the kids... mother doesn't wash them, or their clothes,feed them nothing. I asked them how often they brushed their teeth, they didn't have tooth brushes. Ears so full of wax, all you would need are a couple wicks and match and you could read in the dark for hours. It just goes on and on! CPS is involved and with no success. It is like a movie or worse because it is going on right now...... violent videos, late night adult cartoons, no proper food, no set bedtime...
Well, that's enough for this, my first post.
This is all very true, I will fill you in on the family members on mom's side, (or at least the ones that are not in the "Big House" or camping-out at "Chain Gang Joe's" snazzy year around outdoor retreat.
The poor kids were just never taught anything.
So does anyone have any ideas that won't step on too many toes. Their Dad loves them so much, but there is only so much he can do during his aprox. 6 hours/wk. with them (which is another truck of worms.)
I just don't know what to do, and stumbled on this site, and decided to give y'all a try.
Thank you for your input.
Jami
Hi Jami, welcome to
Hi Jami, welcome to arizonamoms.com, and I'm sorry your first post has to be about such a serious issue.
It sounds like a lot of things are going on; neglect, lack of proper guidance and supervision, and a desperate cry for attention. You said CPS was involved. If you are going to be a new stepmom, will they consider awarding custody to Dad and you? The kids need a stable, loving home. That is the basic need of any child. At this point I would not worry about stepping on toes. The entire future of those kids are at risk. Dad needs to get assertive about what is happening in the home environment where the kids are spending most of their time.
Susan & Neil Hampton have three spectacular children, Alexander, Isabel and David, plus one amazing teenager, Eric. Susan does community outreach for arizonamoms.com.
“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” - Margaret Atwood
I would agree with Susan.
I would agree with Susan. You have to do something now. Is there a way you could go and talk with their school? Sounds like there could be learning problems, but then again, without good food, sleep or feeling like dirt, it would be hard to pay attention.
I am sure there are major issues when it comes to visitation, but someone at the CPS surely could help with this too.
My heart goes out to you. You are taking on a lot, but think about how you can help in creating truly amazing people. You are their angel, time to fly.
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
Jami, I agree with the above
Jami, I agree with the above two posts and I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. On the other hand it is good to know that you are genuinely concerned about the children. Thats a good place to start. Their father needs to file emergency custody paperwork with the courts. He should log everything that happens dates, times and cps case numbers. He should also get letters from the teachers or schools involved supporting what you posted regarding the abc's and counting, barking etc. Good luck and keep us updated.
Jennifer is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com and mommy to four beautiful girls who range from 9 to 4 years of age.