Mom, you're embarrassing

My eight year old daughter told me the same thing. I went to volunteer in her classroom as well and everything seemed okay while I was there, but then when I asked her she said the same thing as your son. I am still going to volunteer though since the other students seemed to have fun.

First let me say that I'm sorry what he said hurt your feelings. My son will tell me all the time that he thinks I'm a great mom and because "I'm not as old as his friends mom's" (I had him at 18 and 1/2) that I'm cooler than theirs (I dress more stylish, act cooler I guess). But he has said that it's embarassing when I pick him up from school or drop him off and I give him a kiss/hug or tell him I love him which really hurts my feelings a lot (I think that the best part of being a mom). Since I don't think you should not go and help out again my suggestion is this, the next time you go see if you can make arrangements with the teacher to omit as much as possible activity with him alone. I know that might not help your feelings now, but it will save the "it was embarrassing" comment a second time. Again I'm sorry you're feelings were hurt.

"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."

I'll bet that, while they said, "embarrassed", it was probably just weird; kids are often startled the first time they see a grownup acting in a different role. Think about the first time you saw a teacher in a grocery store, or your pastor in shorts and a T-shirt playing catch with his kids in the back yard.

"But that's my (insert expected role here)!"

Depending on the kid, I'd probably tell him that I hoped the next time won't bother him as much.

Or, depending on the kid, I'd probably list all the things I didn't do: ask if he needed to go to the bathroom, kiss him goodbye on your way out, call him pet names, ask out loud if that's the girl he likes, clean out his desk, etc.

Don't let it get to you.

Oh, wow........................I know exactly how you feel and boy, does it hurt! I know it's easier said than done, but don't take it personally - I think no matter how "cool" or hip we think we still are, to our kids we are just goofy old mom. I see your picture there and you are a very attractive lady, and I can tell by the way you write you are a very sweet person ! I am sure your son thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world, even though he might not tell you so.
My son has told me on several occasions that I am embarassing, he can't really define why, but my presence is just an embarassment. I find that really hurtful, but I know I probably felt the same way when I was his age, so I don't let on that it hurts my feelings. I don't think it has anything to do with the way I look or act, I don't call attention to myself or dress in an outlandish way when I'm at the school with him. I think little boys just don't want to be seen as being too close to their mom.
He is also very protective of me and any time a strange man, be it another parent or some random man in a grocery store or whatever attempts conversation, he "mad-dogs" them and then after they are gone he asks me if they were "hitting on me" and says he thinks that man must want to marry me. I suppose he wouldn't think anyone would be remotely interested in that if he really thought I was completely hideous.

I bet embarrassed isn't the right word for what he was feeling, you were leading the witness... If he's OK with you coming back then he is glad you are there, that is what you need to focus on, but I understand the hurt feelings.

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

It's very rare that my son gets embarrassed by me. He's very laid back and doesn't care too much about what other people think. (which he did not get from me, so thank God he got it from his dad) But every once in a while I'll act silly or tease him and he gets shy. This may sound wierd, but instead of backing off I just get more and more goofy (although I do stop teasing him) until he starts laughing. His friends are all laughing and he forgets to be embarrassed.

This works when he is overly upset too. Sometimes he gets mad about something and just can't let go. I grab him and make him dance with me. He kicks and screams at first but after a few minutes he's enjoying it. When he feels himself getting upset sometimes he'll come to me and go "mom, don't make me do the waltz!" That's a hint to crank up the music!

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, but do you remember when you were a kid? My parents "embarrassed" me and they were told...... It happens, it's natural.

Work for yourself!
Kathy De Lisle
Independent Marketing Executive
Melaleuca
www.workathomeunited.com/delisle
For more info, contact me at katfishmama@gmail.com

That's exactly what I did this morning..volunteer @ my 11 year old son's class correcting papers. After I read your embarrassing moment, I asked him if he doesn't mind me going. Guess what he said ? Not really..but some kids said they don't like it..well too bad!!! We're going to be there whether they like it or not!! LOL..

if you pry a little more i bet he wasnt really embarrassed. my two sons have gone back and forth on this for years and yes my feelings get hurt but then when ehy do something nice i forget about it. my oldest was never a cuddly kid form birth, i couldnt swaddle or hug a lot. he has always been demanding and to this day he has a snese of entitlement. he has said some very hurtful things in his adult life and i have just decided to leave him out of my life. in a nutshell. he was engaged for 7 yrs. i bought the ring he broke up with her ina very nasty way, hooked up with the sister of the woman my husband had cheated on me with. in a month they were pregnant and getting married. he asks for $5000 for a ring for her i tell him no i already bought one why dont you get a cheaper ring. he had already borrowed money to set up housekeeping with the new one, and ofr car payment and insurance etc. total of $8600. he says she has to have this one and she will get what she wants. next week his MIL tells me that i have to come up with $5000 (magic number i guess) for the wedding . she TOLD me. i say what is it for i would like a breakdown fo expenses and have a say in what money si being spent on. shouldnt we jsut have something smaller and save for the baby? doesnt the girls parents have to pay for the wedding? she goes off in a tiff, my son calls me and tells me he is ashamed of me being his mother, i tell him OK i wont embarass him by going to the wedding he says he doesnt want me there, i dont go, he tels everyone im the bad guy for ruinng his wedding (they had to downsize cause apparently the MIL wasnt planning on spending a dime) and she didnt get fresh orchids like she wanted. anyway ive written him off but if hes in a bind again i will probably bail him out cause hes my son and its my fault i raised him the way he is. THAT HURTS. my youngest is the total opposite. to him i am the coolest and the bestest. his older brother used to tell him that he was a mommas boy and he proudly said he was. all his firends think im the coolest mom. i try to do things with him even things i dont like because he wants me there. last week they dragged me to a metal concert. it was "as i lay dying" and it was loud. when we were in line my son smiled and said " you are such a good mom" i asked why and he said that i was the oldest person in line and that i didnt care that everyone was wondering what an old lady was doing at a metal concert. i dint really enjoy it but i do like some of the songs and i like that part of it. yes, my ipod has some of thir songs. i dont try to act younger but he insists i go places with him. i got to all of his sports events. tonite i didnt go to a two day wrestling tournament because it was the only time i would get to go to my nephews basketball game. he si my spoiled brat too. so i compromised and am going to the wresting meet tomorrow. myson called in a panic and asked where i was i told him and he asked if i was coming tomorrow. isaid yes and he let out a sigh of releif. he told me about his matches and then he asked if i could make sure i was there early so i could take him some coffee. i guess they dont have coffee at the concession stand. i used to go on the buss because i was the trainer. im still the trainer but i cant handle the kids on the bus so i drive now. but even then he would always sit with me and lay on my lap when he was tired. eventually all the kids would gravitate to our seat an i never got a nap. he alyas hugs and kisses me in public and has always wanted me to go to his school . i have been doing career day for years and it hink even when he graduates this year i am going to have to keep doing it. bottom line is jsut kids are different. they dont really mean what they say. please dont stop going to his class and being involved. in coaching the youth football teams and wrestling teams my husband and i have seen so many kids whose parents are not involved. it is sad to see them. your son is proud of yuo maybe just a little uncomfortable once he gets used to the idea, if you miss a day he will be sad and missing you

Oh boy—I know that day is coming…I’ll just have to remind myself of all of these supportive comments!

You're SUPPOSED to embarrass your kids. :) Being embarrassing means that you're doing your job. My husband can't wait till our baby is old enough to embarrass. He's got all kinds of plans.... Poor kid. :)

That said, my little one is only 1 so I haven't faced this and I probably will cry too. :)

we all find our moms embarrassing at times...I remember not being especially proud of my moms job because it was a kitchen job, not a desk job. It was embarrassing for me as a third grader...But I didn't realize she took the job so she could help out the family and still be there for us kids after school. I feel bad that she could tell that I was embarrassed by it. So sorry for that behavior and apologized for it later in life...I'm sure most kids do.

The past three weeks have been great. My son did tell me to look nice yesterday, though. I had joked about coming as I was dressed...my home office attire on Thursdays is usually sweats - and not necessarily matching.

Yvette Armendariz writes about trying to manage life as a busy mom in her "Time-starved (goddess) Mom" blog.