Recently many parents nationwide were shocked to hear of the Florida teacher that had her students vote on whether their classmate, Alex, should stay in the classroom. Alex, age 5, reportedly has some behavioral issues and was in the process of being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Whether or not he has it, or if he has it in conjunction with another issue, the story resonates with parents who have been there.
Asperger's is a high functioning and often misunderstood form of autism. It breaks the perception the general population has about autism. Often kids with Asperger's can appear quite typical and function well in a standard classroom. Unlike children with classic autism, Asperger's kids very much want to fit in but often are not sure how. They tend to struggle with non-verbal communication and are obsessive about their own interests, often ignoring those of others. Also in contrast to what most belive about autisim, Asperger's kids have average or often above average verbal skills. Many are identified as "gifted." They often want things a certain way and only that way, which can lead to meltdowns. It is a strange paradox to see a child who can speak quite eloquently one minute yet throw himself on the floor kicking and screaming the next. These children also tend to have some motor delays or motor tics. They are often seen as "a bit odd." With autism on the rise, teachers will increasingly need to learn ways to identify and handle children who need extra assistance.
A child with Asperger's may do better in a special needs setting, but the parents of Alex were in the process of trying to figure that out. In the meantime, they trusted his teacher to accept him and guide him. Instead, she did something unthinkable. It was cruel and shocking to hear that she let the other kids vote Alex out, and also go around and say what they did not like about him.
I am assuming this teacher never held in her arms a beautiful new baby and felt her heart soar as she thought of the amazing future he would have. And I am sure she has never cheered as her toddler took his very first steps... maybe later than his peers but steps nontheless, vowing to protect him as he ventured a bit away from her for the first time. Certainly she has never held her child's hand and led him to the school bus that first day of kindergarten, tellling him all the while that the teacher would love him and that he would do great, and convincing herself of the same as tears rolled down her cheeks. She has never suffered the heartbreak when, midway through kindergarten she got the sinking feeling that something was just not quite right with her boy. And she has never heard the words, "we think your child may have autism," and felt chills run down her spine, followed by sad uncertainty of what to do and where to turn next. She must not have ever tucked a tired child into bed after a long day of tantrums and repetitive words and sounds and felt, despite all of this, a rush of unconditional love as she bent over to kiss her son and say, "I love you just the way you are and I can't wait to spend another day with you tomorrow."
It's too bad, because if she had, she wouldn't have broken the spirit of an innocent little boy who was just trying to fit in and figure out the ways of the world.
Debbie Akers, a northeast Phoenix mom of three young sons, is a member of the Arizona Republic's Parent Advisory Panel.
Debbie: I do understand your
Debbie: I do understand your frustration, and I get why you're angry. However, I really believe in teachers, and you'd have to go a long way to convince me that a teacher doesn't care. Unfortunately, it seems that Maricopa County has "more important" things to handle -- at the expense of schools, family asssistance programs, and, gee, anything that would actually improve the quality of life for our children.
Teachers shouldn't have the
Teachers shouldn't have the power to control any child's destiny in the matter of developmental issues. These issues should be relayed to education specialists in the field who are certified in these specific areas as each teacher is certified to handle only a minute amount of areas.
In this instance, this Florida teacher should not only be reprimanded for their actions, but their inaction of helping this struggling family find the right answers so their child will progress and be on track with his peers in no time.This would have never happened in a private school setting. A good teacher would have seen this early on and would help this family find the necessary assistance.
It doesn't sound like this teacher's pedagogy entered the picture, but merely used pressure from fellow students and their parents to rid this autistic child of a valuable step in education: and I'm not talking about Kindergarten, but acceptance into new situations and thriving as a curious child.
Not only was it wrong what this teacher did, but this is one of the reasons why parents opt out of public education in this country. If it weren't for competition from parochial and private schools public schools would continue to fail to graduate students and/or address developmental delays.Thank God the government has not stripped us of our ability to choose.
Debbie is absolutely right. This teacher must have never been in the situation of being a parent and holding a baby with high hopes for their future. I disagree with "not-the-mamma" because a lot of teachers do not care... it doesn't matter where you are in this world. There is a small fraction who do not care and do things the wrong way in and out of the classroom on a daily basis. I have seen it from first hand experience as I was a teaching assistant more than 10 years ago in a public school in New York City. Some of my colleagues were so tied with the union that it ended up cutting off their true teaching abilities in order to meet the needs of being an active union member. A lot of teachers join the infamous teacher unions and from there it's all down hill from there for our children's education.
This is the same reason why our kids are being dumbed down: unions. Teachers can't accept responsibility in most cases and have their PACs lobby the legislatures and demand less accountability for the success of their students.In Arizona the unions help to keep dumbing down AIMS and making it easier to graduate high school. Unfortunately, this doesn't bode well for our local economy as we have to recruit from outside the Valley in order to fill positions.
I hope this family in Florida seeks legal action against this school. Allowing a small child to be voted out of a class by his 5 year old peers is juvenile, wrong and criminal. She has just pushed this child with autism over the edge and not even winning a lawsuit against this teacher and the school district will repair harm committed to this young boy. This teacher should be locked up as a result of her inability to hold up her oath as a teacher as she's handed over the accountability of her classroom to a bunch of 5 year olds.
So not-the-mama - you
So not-the-mama - you actually think the teacher in the scenario Debbie was talking about cares about the boy in question?
I can't see how ANYONE could have a positive motivation for putting a five year old boy in front of a class, and then having his peers tell him what they don't like about him....and then "vote" hime out of the class!!!!!! After the vote, she even asked him where he was going to go next, since he wasn't welcome in her class....so he said he'd go to the office...and then she told him "they don't want you there, either". Sounds like a very caring teacher, doesn't it? It is cruelty in its purest form....I wonder how much personal satisfaction she got out of crucifying a child like that....and this boy will remember that experience for the rest of his life. Not to mention - how traumatic and uncomfortable it must have been for the other children to see someone else hurt that way. This "teacher" was mean and vindictive, she simply grew tired of dealing with the boy's challenges, and she wanted to hurt him and humiliate him publicly. What other explanation can there be for what she did? She deserves to be punished severely.....and I can tell you one thing, if this had happened to my son, I would probably be writing to you all from the prison computer........because I would have shown no mercy to this evil shell of a woman masquerading as a teacher.
Katy, I'm on the same page.
Katy, I'm on the same page. I didn't pay enough attention to what really happened. My huge bad.
that's what I figured.... :)
that's what I figured.... :)
I guess I just can't get my
I guess I just can't get my head around someone who'd jump through all the hoops to get certified as a teacher -- if s/he didn't love children. Really, when I was a teacher, that's what I got back; the money was subsistence level, and the benefits were more than lame. It's not a job; it's a calling.
The only reason I left was that, back in the day, once you got "outed" (for being gay or lesbian), your teaching career was pretty much over. It was particularly ugly in that my principal had a crush on me; huge risk exposure. I belonged to the union; the only way they could have terminated me (given that all my evaluations were marked superior) was to invoke the "moral turpitude" clause.
It makes me a little heartsick. All you have to do is actually care about the kids whose parents have put them in your care, and you can move mountains. Of course, in this day and age, you're not supposed to put your hand on a child's shoulder as your explaining how to work a math problem, hold a kid who's crying, or tousle a kid's hair or pat him/her on the back. To me, appropriate affection is part and parcel of working with children; I am in loco parentis, and young children need a heckuva lot more than a phonics workbook.
I actually wonder at the people who come up with no-touch policies; if I pull a 7 year-old up on my knee to read me a story, I'm not thinking about sex, and neither is s/he. What's with the bureaucrat who *is* thinking about sex?
Anyway, Katy, thanks for believing in me.
Whether she EVER held a baby
Whether she EVER held a baby in her arms or not - cruel is cruel. You don't have to be a mother to be a teacher. What that woman did is wrong. No excuses. She knows it. The administration knows it. The kids in the classroom know it. And THEIR parents know it. I don't care if that kid has the worst behavior in the world-violent, whatever...there were other ways to handle problems. No child deserves FROM AN ADULT what was given.
Paz
This is so sad. I literally
This is so sad. I literally had tears running down my face! How can anyone with a heart do that to a child? Whether a mother or a teacher, adult or child, it's just plain MEAN! If this was my kid, that teacher and I would be meeting on the playground after school if you know what I mean. (I know it wouldn't solve anything, but it would sure make me feel better!) These poor children are so impressionable at that age. What kind of example is the teacher setting for the kids. This breaks my heart. I think they should put the teacher in front of the parents/administrators and have everyone vote whether or not she should be able to keep her profession and point out what they don't like about her! I wonder if she felt better about herself when she was done picking on him. I also have a hard time believing this teacher "cared" for that little boy.
Please don't get me wrong, I ADORE teachers (my sis-in-law is a teacher) and I think that God has a very special place in Heaven for them, just not this particular teacher. She should be ashamed (VERY ashamed) of herself
My nephew just completed Kindergarten. He had a little girl in his class with leg braces. Instead of allowing the children to pick on her, the teacher had everyone "celebrate diversity". She spent an entire week having the children all talk about their differences (one child had a glass eye, different races, ethnic backgrounds etc.) and ask each other questions. By the end of the week, they weren't "differences" but reasons to make new friends, and learn new things. These kids were so protective of their other classmates and I have never seen young kids so close. Perhaps that Florida teacher needs to go back to school. Etiquette school, school of manners maybe, or just a crash course on common sense!
♥ "LIFE AIN'T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL, BUT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL RIDE" ♥--Gary Alan
I agree that the teacher
I agree that the teacher clearly was being wicked. She should be fired and, hopefully, anywhere she applies for a job will do a Google search and find the stories of her true nature. It's one thing to snap at a child after a particularly trying day but what she did was cruel.
Karina Bland is raising her 9-year-old son in Tempe with a lot of love, humor and support from her friends and family. A longtime journalist covering child welfare and education issues for The Arizona Republic, she blogs about raising good kids.
So much of your post brought
So much of your post brought tears to my eyes, Debbie!
I don't care whether or not this woman has ever been a mother, or whether or not she was aware he might have some type of ASD. She's still a human being, yet chose to act more like an animal (and heck, many animals are more compassionate than her!). Nothing short of her being fired and banned from teaching would be satisfactory, IMO.
I first heard about this story last weekend, and along with my anger, I also felt fear. My son, who's in preschool, is autistic. This type of thing is what he potentially has to face in the years to come. We're trying to hard to get him lots of different therapy, in the hopes that he'll be able to lead a happy, "normal" childhood, but the fact remains that he could still be singled out.
While what this teacher did is inexcusable, parents also hold some responsibility. We need to teach our children tolerance. We need them to know that absolutely every single person they meet in their lifetime will be different in some way, and that we should embrace, rather than reject, those differences.
Jennifer, mom to one special little boy