My girlfriend and I just got back from working out and our entire convo was about when do you have "the talk" with your boys????? We both say around 15. When I got home I told my husband and he thought I was joking. He said that 15 is way to late that it needs to be around 12. Well, we have an 11 yr old boy and I will tell you that in no way is he ready for that in a few months... He will be 12 in May... Then it brought up another question. When do you tell the girls?
So, what's a good age for boys, and is 15 to late?? And when do you tell your girls?
My parents never had "he talk" with me and I got my (totally wrong) info from an older neighbor girl. She was obviously playing a joke on us when she told us because I found out later from another friend that no, you cannot get pregnant by drinking a boys pee out of a dixie cup.. TRUE STORY!!! I think we believed her for about a yr until the topic came up again at a sleep over...
Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children, Joshua 12, Brooke 2 and Mason 10 months
I have an eight year old son
I have an eight year old son and we have already broached the topic......we didn't get into all the details but we are going to do that soon, by nine at the latest. I think 9 or 10 is the appropriate age, especially these days.....I want my son to hear about it from us before some other kid breaks it down for him.
Why do you think your son's not ready at 11? Just curious.
I agree, you have to have
I agree, you have to have the talk earlier now. It's amazing what kids know these days, and you want them to be informed about sex, diseases, pregnancy, etc. and how you feel about it. My parents talked to me about how they felt about premarital sex. That stuck in my mind as I had boyfriends later.
That said, I think 10 is a good time to talk about sex with both boys and girls...in some ways, even earlier with girls since some have periods as young as 8. I know, it's hard to believe.
I am totally with you
I am totally with you musicmom!! Kids learn so much from eachother. Just don't wait till too long. No harm in telling them a little early, wouldn't you rather be able to share that important info with your child before he/she learns it from their peers.
Don't Hate!
Even at 11 he's still like a
Even at 11 he's still like a baby.. I know I baby him a little but I don't even let him go bike riding by himself... We live in a great area it's not that. It's I'm just a paranoid mom.
He did watch wedding crashers when my husband rented it. I made him turn his head b/c I had no idea that it would have those sex scenes at the begining of the movie. He just seems uninterested in girls. I always ask if there are any cute girls in his class. He gives me a silly look and says no.
Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children, Joshua 12, Brooke 2 and Mason 10 months
My son just turned ten...and
My son just turned ten...and we had the talk long ago and we continue to talk about it. I think if you start young before they are way to shy to listen or ask questions is better...it helps open the lines of communication...and he has asked.
Rather your son is into girls or not at this time that shouldn't matter because one day he will...it might happen over night...and he will have the knowledge he needs.
Oh, honey.......11 years old
Oh, honey.......11 years old is far from a baby. I am really overprotective of my son, too......but I think I'd actually be handicapping him by keeping him in the dark about the subject of sex and the way his own body works when he's that age..it doesn't mean you encourage promiscuity or anything....present it in the light that sex is meant for adults in a loving, committed relationship....that's another reason that parents should get to it before the other kids or the school, you control the way the information is presented.
I don't think you want him getting the playground version of sex ed, which I would be suprised if he hadn't already heard by age 11.......I think it's better for the child if the facts come from mom and dad....he'd be headlong into puberty if you wait until he's 15 to have the conversation with him, and will be pretty confused about the changes within him for the past few years. I was the last out of my group of freinds to lose my virginity at 16.....I knew kids ho'd been having it since Jr high....and that was back in the day (over 20 years ago!).
I wouldn't drop it on him all at once, but try a phased approach and see what he already knows.
Wow, I think 15 is too long
Wow, I think 15 is too long to wait. I think even way back in "my day" 15 was too late! He hasn't asked any questions yet? Even my 7 year old has asked the "where do babies come from" question. I subscribe to the open and honest theory, so I always answer truthfully. What I struggle with is what the age-appropriate answer is - my 7 year old isn't looking for a long biology lesson! If you've never even broached the subject with him, don't overwhelm him with a long talk - maybe just try asking a few leading questions, and see if that gets him to begin a conversation with you. If not, you can always do what my parents did... leave a book lying around and let us read it on our own!
My mom had "the talk" with
My mom had "the talk" with me when i was 11. I am glad she did because a year later i got my period. She also had the talk with me before my 6th grade class of "Human Growth and Development Started". Thats was the title of the class and yes, i was allowed to partake in the class.
BTW - When I was going to school, 6th grade was the last year of elementary school - not the first year of middle school as they do now.
I think 15 is too late personally, because childrens bodies at 15 will have already been thru quite a few changes. I think its good to address these changes before they happen.
just~me
Start early - and before
Start early - and before they start the Human Sexuality classes in school! I started talking to my boys when they 11 or 12 ish. I never made a big deal about "the talk" and they already knew about almost everything anyhow! I made it a point to reiterate everything before their Human Sexuality classes in middle school. Good luck!
Mom of teenage boys!
I went to a teenage
I went to a teenage organization for pregnant moms and the lady over the organization said the youngest mom is age 12.
Its just a terrible thing to see. So, my husband and I will begin talking to our son at age 12 if not sooner. I think its never too late, because I don't want my son going to his friends and getting caught up in the peer pressure.
One Happy Mom in Arizona.
I was thinking my poor
I was thinking my poor kid... When I was pg with our 2 yr old, my son did say that he knew where babies came from and my husband and I just looked at each other and said "tell us, where do babies come from" he said "from the Dr's office after you take all those shots".. (my husband and I did IVF and it took 3 yrs and 4 IVF's before we finally got pg). When my son said thats where he thought babies came from my husband said "I think it's time for THE TALK" I said OH, no you don't" He can think that for as long as he wants!!! My husband did talk to him this past weekend and he said that he has known for a long time where babies came from. His reply was "I'm not stupid".. Nice!!!
Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children, Joshua 12, Brooke 2 and Mason 10 months
No matter how not ready you
No matter how not ready you think your son is, he has heard and knows things that would probably stun you!! If you haven't talked with him by the time he's 12 just know that he is being told things that are stupid and untrue. If you want him to know the truth AND the truth YOUR way, you really need to talk...soon.
Paz