The Prom Dress (part II)

This is such a tough question...really along the lines of the Miley Cirus chat from a few weeks ago. Our daughters are being catapulted into a sexualized world it seems. The best we can do as parents is continue to maintain our guidelines for what is/isn't acceptable in our homes.

I really find the norms nowadays to be unsettling. Not only are some teenagers open to showing "skin," they are open to sharing intimate details (i.e., not wearing underwear under her dress) with their parents. No way would I have thought of talking about underwear/absence of it in high school with my parents or expect them to fit it or "cover it" for me.

On a related note (i.e., what is acceptable??), I was watching ER the other night and one of the female characters called a male character a bad word/name that starts with "d." I thought I was imagining things until I reviewed and put the closed-captioning on. Yes, I heard right! Can you believe that? On network tv? It's everywhere.

The standards of what others find acceptable are sliding all over the scale nowadays. A lot of it has to do with immediate gratification (I want that dress now) and self-centered agendas (I will be the hottest girl there). As parents, all be can do it keep our standards firmly in place and use these other examples of what we do NOT expect from our kids.

Mouse_tales is a discussion leader in the East Valley for arizonamoms.com. She is a business owner, community activist and an aspiring runner (whew!), who most enjoys her roles as wife & mom. Her children range in age from 4 to 13.

It is so interesting how the styles do change over the years. My friend and I were just talking last week about how prom dresses have changed (and we had not seen the article at that time - we just notice teenagers recently 'going out'). Anyhow we laughed about how our prom dresses we those loop dresses that were narrow on top and then ballooned at the bottom - I'm sure kids today would never be seen in a dress like that! I've heard the prom dresses of the 80's are called vintage these days - too funny. Anyhow I agree it is shocking what some girls wear to prom these days.

LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 8 months and 3 years old.

I was completely stunned by the dress. BUT what amazed me even more was the girl's total lack of understanding about what the problem was. CNN has a video interview with her, and she just doesn't seem to get what the problem was. CNN had a copy of the school's prom dress guidelines. They clearly said you were not allowed to show more than one inch of midriff, and that you must wear undergarments. In plain English!! So why on earth would she have thought that her "custom made" dress was okay??

AND where were her parents when she was planning this dress? I think I would have laughed if my daughter had brought home a dress similar to this! And my husband, well, let's just say he would NOT have been amused.

Thank goodness I don't think this is typical. This is extreme, and I hope the school intervenes to get her some counseling to work on her self-esteem. Although it takes hutzpah to wear something like that, at this age, I fear her decision/desire to expose herself to that degree probably indicates deeper issues...

How is that for arm chair diagnosis?

It makes me sad when girls don't value themselves, more than this.

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

She looks like one of the girls you see in a rap video:( Very sad indeed. I remember my prom and when my mother came with me to select my dress, we talked about what was appropriate and what wasn't. I was allowed to emphasize one body part and I chose my back(nothing revealing by today's standards) because I thought it would look more tasteful. Today it seems the girls hang everything and the kitchen sink out for people to oogle their wares. What's next? is the question I have to ask. Parents who choose to turn a blind eye to this (and other things that come along with it) are showing their daughters that they are not worth respect. They are teaching them to objectify their bodies. What happens when the beautiful young body is gone and they haven't cultivated their minds?

Does anyone think it's weird that the school allows 1 inch of midriff to be shown and has to remind girls to wear underwear??? What?
Guarantee this is a girl desparate for male attention and lives with a mom who feels the same way.

Brooke Romney is an unbalanced mom of three young boys who constantly has too much to do, and too little time. She writes the Mom Beat column for The Gilbert Republic.

Yikes! That is a dress? I looked at both of the links and the bottom one had a closer picture. Looks like she took some ribbon and tied it around her chest. Top is done.
I agree - where were the parents? So she thought she'd make a statement, rules are for everyone else but her. I am glad the chaperon stood up to her.

KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.

It is ludicrous to think that any responsible parent would let their child go out wearing something like this. This certainly appears to be a shock factor dress and it truly is a shame that the young lady pictured does not seem to comprehend the problem with wearing such a garment to a school function (much less to any function).
You are definitely not of line in your reaction, this outfit definitely crosses the line.

JuneSlager is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com, raising three children (ages 15, 14, & 11) in Northeast Phoenix.

when i was in high school , my dream prom dress was a cinderella type dress with a huge poofy skirt and poofy sleeves. but.. we could never afford anythign like that so all i got was your standard sears formal dress, that my mother picked out because i was too busy with sports and work to go pick out myself. and i thought that is what everybody did. that their moms picked them out. she would never pick anything out like that and i dont even think i would have known where to find one. oh.. and im not that old.

Call me old fashioned as well, but you won't catch my daughter looking like that. She can wear a beautiful dress that looks like it belongs in a ballroom not in a MTV video. Ok so my daughter is 18 months I have a while.

Lisa - Mom to her spunky little Scarlette

It does amaze me how teenagers are dressing these days. I also wonder if parents really know what their children are wearing. I do recall changing clothes at school in high school and than changing back before going home. I did work and bought my own clothes as my mom would not buy me the ones I wanted. Also, perhaps the teenager in the picture and her mother are not far from each others ages so it was be acceptable to them. Just nuts!!!

There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one!

I am 29 years old and when I go out here in town, I am often surprised at what women are wearing. With that said, I rarely see anhything that looks like this girls dress. Where are her parents?

With this outfit in mind, I would like to ask what parents or guardians are thinking when they let their 12 year old girls wear the shortest shorts around the mall or at church on Sunday, that might as well be underwear.

I might be over conservative. I am not going to change though.

discussion leader, mom of an 11 year old girl. At this time, she is trying to make it work between raising her and having a full time job!