So my husband and I were talking about when how we were kids if you got in trouble at school you would get a swat from the principal. I never got one but my husband said he did and they hurt and that kids were scared of them. It made kids behave.. What do you think about this? I don't think it would ever happen but I would like to see it get put back into schools... What r your thoughts? THANKS!
Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children, Joshua 12, Brooke 2 and Mason 10 months
Some schools do still do
Some schools do still do them. I know Florida does because I taught there and the parents were fully supportive of it. I did not like it because the principal was abusive with it, but it was supported anyway. I know when I was growing up, the schools had swats as punishment and it definitely made students think twice when misbehaving.
Omigod! no I totally
Omigod! no I totally disagree. I was "spanked" in school for something I did not even do along with two other of my girlfriends in the 4th grade. Yes, it hurt so bad plus each of us had to watch the other as they got "spanked" by the principal with this cutting board called "MR.BAD NEWS', written on it with dozens of holes drilled in it for a stinging effect!
Its a terrible thing I do not "spank" my child I love him (i'm not saying anyone who spanks their child does not love them) and I don't think that he should ever fear me or my hand or anyting!
Maybe the reason why I feel so strong about this touchy about this subject is because I was "Spanked" (just a nice word to cover up beat or beating) as a child and hated my father for it and grew up hating him to this day we do not talk.
I was put in foster care at 14 yrs old because the state thought he was abusive with his "spankings" , I am now 28 and do not speak to him to this day he still claims he did nothing wrong and that he never beat me he just spanked me.
whatever!
do, you really want your children fearing you? just so they will behave? is it really worth them hating you?
Communicate with them talk to them . They are people too, just little people who need hugs, kisses and understanding!
Sorry, if I offended anyone its just how I feel and a very touchy subject for me.
Sashaymom
Oh my gosh, I neve thought
Oh my gosh, I neve thought of it that way. Wow, I would never want my child to grow up thinking he or she was beaten. I got spanked a few times when I was a kid but not at school just home and it was one swat and that's it. It didn't hurt that bad but it was the anticipation knowing I was goig to get one that was bad. I just think in schools kids should have that fear so they can stay in line but maybe I am wrong b/c I would be VERRRRYYY upset if my child got a swat at school for somethig he did not do.. I would be one angry mom and you would have to hold me back from using that paddle on whoever tried to use it on my child... SO I guess I don't know.. (It's late and I am talking in circles)..lol...
Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children, Joshua 12, Brooke 2 and Mason 10 months
I had teachers growing up
I had teachers growing up that would hit you with an eraser or a pencil if you were acting out in class. You definitely didn't mess around in their classes....but some of them abused their power.
I do agree that there does need to be a lot more power given back to the teachers and schools as far as discipline goes though. Nowadays it seems teachers have no rights when it comes to being able to keep their classroom in order. Also, On the other side they can't even give the kids a pat on the back or hug if they do something right without someone jumping all over them about it. We have gone way overboard in the political correctness to the point that we are caving in to every person that has a complaint and ignoring the majority opinion.
I know I already said my
I know I already said my part on the issue; but is it really the majority opion? do you really want someone swatting your child? I think its crazy to allow someone else to disapline another child or even their own in that manner!
how can that be the majority?
Sashaymom
I wasn't saying that
I wasn't saying that swatting kids was the majority opinion...I was just saying that we are letting the minority opinion change the way we do everything and teachers have no ability to do anything in the classroom anymore. Some teachers can't even give a child a failing grade or hold them back without getting in trouble with the school boards or parents. Teachers should be able to send kids out of the classroom that are misbehaving, fail them if they don't get the answers right, hold them back a grade if they are not competent enough to move on, assign homework as needed and discipline children that need it - whether it be missing reccess, standing in the back of the classroom, missing out on a field trip or special activity etc. But there are a lot of teachers and districts in the valley that do not allow those things.
I got swatted with a ruler a
I got swatted with a ruler a few times. It was more embarrassing than anything else. I'd send my child to a school in which swatting was allowed, if there was a clear policy. I'd be more comfortable if the policy required a second adult in the room
I was on the "No corporal
I was on the "No corporal punishment" list from the day I started kindergarten. My parents never told me this, but a teacher in the 6th grade left the list out one day and I found my name on it.
I would not let my kids be physically struck either.
thank you crazymama! I was
thank you crazymama! I was feeling very sad and angry thinking that all moms out there didn't have a problem with their child being struck.
so there is hope!
thank you so much; thats made my day!
Sashaymom
Another vote for no corporal
Another vote for no corporal punishment. At least not on my kid. Nobody better ever hit her. Kids should be taught respect, not fear.
As far as teachers not having enough control in the classroom, that goes back to the parents. Send a well behaved child to school and there shouldn't be a problem.
NSMom, I agree with you that
NSMom, I agree with you that the responsibility should be first on the parents. But there are a lot of parents that do not discipline their children, do not care or take the time...and those kids are in the classroom with the children that are taught good behavior. So in reality the teacher is never going to have a perfect classroom where all kids behave all the time. The teacher should be able to set boundaries and enforce them. And I gave several examples of things that have nothing to do with swatting or spanking a child.
i am against it!!! I was
i am against it!!! I was never hit in school and never needed it. I knew if i got in trouble at school, I would have my would have my mother to deal with, so i did not act up.
All my mom had to do when i was a kid was give me "the look" and i knew i was doing something wrong and honestly, i knew exactly what is was with out her saying a word. I knew i was to be respectful of others, whether my mom was around or not. Does this mean i was a perfect child...Not at all!!
I expect the same from my daughter.
just~me
There is no way I want
There is no way I want someone hitting my son with any sort of object including thier hand...to me that is abuse. Kids get taken away from thier homes because of that. People teach these days that if you want to deal with a problem talk it out and deal with it that way. Wouldn't that be encouraging violence, if you think it is okay to let your child be spanked at school because they did something wrong...what does that say to the child? Maybe it would tell them that hitting is a good way to deal with things. I would never let my children go to a school that spanked them to teach them a lesson. If it is such a big problem that they need to resort to somthing drastic, I would want to deal with it.
Cruz Family Day Care
~Samantha Cruz
I thought corporal
I thought corporal punishment was a thing of the past! There have been numerous studies that show spanking just doesn't work. From what I've read most experts agree that positive reinforcement is a much more powerful discipline technique than negative reinforcement. Using consequences for poor choices of behavior also works so much better than physical punishment. I would never allow a teacher or administrator to spank my child. Needless to say, I am totally against it as a discipline technique and can't believe there are still people out there that think it works.
Lattemom is the mother of three energetic kids ages 6, 8 & 11 and a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com.
I grew up in the midwest and
I grew up in the midwest and my school didn't punish like that but my husband said his school (in the south) used to hit hands with rules.
I would not support schools being able to swat my kids.
jesshod is an arizonamoms.com discussion leader living in Surprise.
My school spanked and so did
My school spanked and so did my parents. I agree the school had some teachers that knew just how hard to spank, but it also had ones that abused it. So I say no not in schools. There was always just one adult in the room too, sometimes with multiple kids. So I do actually think if it's gonna happen at a school there should be 2 adults.
As far as my dad spanking me. He never beat me, there is a difference and when a spanking is used as just that it works. I so did not get into even 1/4 of the trouble my friends did because I KNEW my dad would spank me. To this day I love him and am grateful for his punishment. I did not go down the road my "unspanked" friends went down. Everytime I look at my kids I am so grateful for them and know I am here in part because of my dad.
A beating is different I hope the mom who was beat by her dad and seem so upset can find peace. Please know there are parents out there who know the difference.
I do spank my children and use positive reinforcement and take things away, BUT sometimes they just need a spanking and that's just the way it is.
They get plenty of love from me and pats on the back and laying in my lap and I rub their heads. So they know my love and gentle touch as well.
moladybug ~ mommy of twins
ps it's good to see all the
ps
it's good to see all the responses with no attacks on such a sensitive topic.
moladybug ~ mommy of twins
Thanks, moladybug: The idea
Thanks, moladybug:
The idea that all spanking is abuse has really only been around for about 30 years. Now, I am happy to agree to disagree, and I'd never disrespect another Mom's decisions about her own children.
But I still have a certain respect for my Mom. My sister and I were just 14 months apart and always about the same size. She could come into the room and swat one of us with her left hand while swatting the other with her right. She was also a dead aim from the front seat (either driver or passenger side), and she didn't need to take her eyes off the road.
In addition, when we got grounded, we really got grounded. No phone, no TV, no radio, no stereo, and no leaving the house or yard for anything but school, church and activities in which our absence would cause problems for others (i.e. band, sports teams). No cookies, candy, soda pop -- we got an orange or apple or banana. No allowance. Believe me, just a week was enough to never consider mouthing off to a neighbor again.
Like Diva's husband brought up, if the consquence is in place, it seldom needs to be used. Kids will go out of their way to avoid swats, not just because they sting (and they should sting, not hurt or bruise), but because the other kids will laugh at them if they cry. A week without privileges, especially when they aren't suspended for siblings, seems like months.
It's near impossible for teachers today to command the respect they need to teach instead of discipline. Kids laugh at checkmarks, actively disrespect teachers, and pretty much say, "Na, na, na, na, na, na; you can't make me". And when they behave like that, parents are often quick to accuse the teacher of not respecting the child, or of not doing enough to boost his/her self-esteem.
It's a fact of life that, in school, children have to learn to live with the idea that there will be times that they have to do something other than what they feel like doing. We all do that at work, and someday, so will they.
Appropriate discipline is an act of love. What constitutes appropriate discipline (within boundaries) is up to parents.
I'm also really glad that we've been able to disagree without getting personal. Good for us.
Not the Mama, I think we
Not the Mama, I think we could be friends!
I really like what you wrote. It was very well thought out and not angry. To many times when people disagree it turns ugly. BTW I was grounded the same way you were, so I guess me staying out of trouble was from that and the spanking.
I do agree with what you said. Teachers have had so much taken from them and so much more responsibility (more kids, advanced curriculum) put on them. I know I am first in line to say “What has my child done and what can I do about it?”, when it comes to their teachers.
My kids are only 6 and taking away things just doesn’t seem to work with them yet. I have tried believe me, but maybe I take things away for to long? Or don’t take away enough? I’ve thought about doing a rules board (like at school) but don’t know if that would help???? Anyways I don’t think spanking is always the answer and hope I didn’t come across like that. I think we had more agreeing then disagreeing!
moladybug ~ mommy of twins
Ok, ya'll I never got hit
Ok, ya'll I never got hit with a ruler in school or a swat but I did get sprayed in the face with windex in the 7th grade by Mrs Pickle. I'm a drama queen and I ran out of the room yelling I was blind and my parents were up at that school so fast yelling at the teacher and the principal that I was just sitting back outside the office listening and smiling at this teacher get in trouble. I just wanted her fired so I wouldn't have to finish my work...My mom still rememebers how mad she and my Dad were. BTW, I got sprayed b/c she was standing next to my desk and she was wearing sandles and I knocked all my books on her toes with my elbow...She had the windex in her hand from using the projector and she just sprayed it right in my face...
Oh, So good for all of us for not getting upset..
Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children, Joshua 12, Brooke 2 and Mason 10 months
oh diva, that story cracks
oh diva, that story cracks me up. It brought me back to a couple of things i did to the teachers (not intentionally) when i was in 6th and 7th grade.
In 6th grade the teacher was sitting maybe 2 feet from me on her stool at the chalkboard and she was teaching a lesson. I had a red pen in my right hand and started swinging it back and forth really fast. (it was in between two of my fingers and the pen was just going back and forth, back and forth.) Then the teacher yelled my name and i was shocked, because a teacher had never yelled at me. I looked over at her and she had red ink spots all over her face, her blouse and her arms. The entire class started laughing. Thankfully, i did not get in trouble, because it was not intentional. But looking back on it...it's kind of funny, but it also makes me wonder how these teachers have the patience to put up with the stuff like this. Not to mention, i am sure the shirt was ruined.
just~me
I really believe that when
I really believe that when things get so out of hand you have to resort to hitting a child, you have lost the battle, it shows weakness, and it has no real benefit.....if you project authority the right way you should never have to hit a child to get your point across or get them to behave.I would not want someone at a school using corporal punishment on my son.
I couldn't agree more.
I couldn't agree more. Spanking is counter productive. It humiliates and degrades and just doesn't work. Countless studies have shown that. But, some people can't see the forest for the trees, so they "intuitively" think that it works, since kids "shape up" immediately afterward. But, long term, it doesn't decrease negative behavior and often increases it. People believe many things intuitvely and you can't tell them otherwise (sugar makes kids hyper, going outside with wet hair will give you a cold, knocking on wood will protect you, etc.). If for no other reason, parents should object to corporal punishment, so that they don't look like fools! - I mean, if you think that maybe, just maybe the world is flat and that the moon landing was staged in Hollywood, GOOD GOD, don't admit it! LOL.
you mean the world isn't
you mean the world isn't flat??? Well!
Wonders never cease.......... lol
Wow. You just called my Mom
Wow. You just called my Mom an ignorant fool. My two college degrees might not count for much, but I know better than to play with matches in the bushes in the backyard; I learned that from a couple of well-placed swats.
I'm simply saying that you
I'm simply saying that you could have learned not to play with matches by any number of OTHER discipline strategies.
It's probably impossible for thse who were spanked as kids to REALLY see the other possibilites. My parents raised 5 children, who all went to college and have professional careers. We got good grades, learned good values and treated others with respect, yet nobody spanked us. I recall from a very young age, being asked to recommend my own punishment. We always picked harsher punishments then my parents would have chosen. My sister was about 5 when she stole a pack of gum from the grocery on the way out, because my mom had said no. When this was discovered, she was marched back to the store and had to admit and apologize to the store manager. This sure made an impression on a 5 yr old! The worst offense happened when my brother was 12 and fell for peer pressure, when a group of kids knocked over a porta potty. My Dad took him to the police station. He sat in a cell for almost an hour before the officer came to talk to him about the two kinds of people in the world - leaders and followers, etc. Then, he had to write an essay on hepatitis and how it can be transmitted! So, we had consequences! But, I'd imagine that many a kid would have been whacked for that. There were lots of discussions and lectures (as we saw them in the teen years), in my house growing up. Many times, I would have prefered a quick spanking to the forced analysis that we had to endure! There wasn't a situtation that we didn't have to dissect from all angles - whether it was our own behavior, or some current event. But, I'm grateful, because I think that my parents raised critical thinkers and I aim to do the same. (I'm NOT saying that you can't raise a critical thinker if you spank...). It's just easier to talk the talk, if you walk the walk.
I understand why people spank. I, myself, never knew the instant rage that can overcome rational people until I had to drive down the freeway with two boys hitting each other in a disagreement.
The motivation to teach consequences, to raise, competent, compassionate, decent human beings is the same for spankers and nonspankers alike. BUT, there IS another way that is equally effective (or more so, if you believe the research). I simply wish people to admit that spanking is not "necessary", as they too often contend. If that's one's choice - fine. But, it is true that there will be a segment of the population that will view that choice as shortsighted.
A few spankings, from time to time, does not a bad parent make. If the debate could just be lifted away from that defensive position, we might actually be able to discuss itproductively. But, that is so hard to accomplish.
I very much agree with you
I very much agree with you Optimist !
I do not agree with spanking...and really don't agree with spankings in school.
I think there are plenty of ways to let your child know you do not approve of what they have done, without hitting them. I did not like it when I was spanked...and I certainly wouldn't like it now if someone hit me to prove a point.
And if you do spank what age do you stop? I can't even think about putting a preteen or a teen over my lap.So if you don't spank when they are older, that means you have to come up with other punishments, so why not start that when they are little?