I just wanted some input about a situation that my son was in yesterday. He is a 3 yr old and goes to a preschool/childcare but the kids in his class are a mix of 3-4 yr olds. Well anyway yesterday as him and another boy were washing hands after coming in from outside, the other kid went and stuck my son's hand in the toilet. I have always taught my children not to fight but instead stand up for themselves such as telling the other kid that wasn't nice. And my son resorted to just that, telling the other boy that it wasn't nice and he shouldn't be doing that. I guess my question is how do you all teach your children right from wrong?? My husband on the other hand is upset because he doesn't want our son to be bullied and wants for him to start being "tough", but I know that there are other ways around this. Please help!
It is upsetting, geez at 3
It is upsetting, geez at 3 years old that shouldn't be happening. The Preschool needs to know about the incident and they need to intervene with the other child before his bad behaviors become habit.
Your son did great, sounds like you are too in your role to teach him. This was a prank and no harm was done. I don't think 3 year olds should resort to hitting, but being tough by standing up to him was great.
Keep your eyes peeled and make sure the teachers and the director know that you want to be told about any and every incident. Good luck!
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
That is pretty young for
That is pretty young for such a rude action. Maybe the little boy has older siblings he's learned from. I think you are choosing the perfect way to do things, as at that age, nothing is resolved by fighting back. Parents and adults really need to constantly supervise at that age.
I usually tell my 5 year old, if you don't like what the boys around you are doing, walk away and do something else or find someone different to play with. It's tough though even at 5.
Brooke Romney is an unbalanced mom of three young boys who constantly has too much to do, and too little time. She writes the Mom Beat column for The Gilbert Republic.
That is pretty young for
That is pretty young for such a rude action. Maybe the little boy has older siblings he's learned from. I think you are choosing the perfect way to do things, as at that age, nothing is resolved by fighting back. Parents and adults really need to constantly supervise at that age.
I usually tell my 5 year old, if you don't like what the boys around you are doing, walk away and do something else or find someone different to play with. It's tough though even at 5.
Brooke Romney is an unbalanced mom of three young boys who constantly has too much to do, and too little time. She writes the Mom Beat column for The Gilbert Republic.
I feel the same way. I don't
I feel the same way. I don't want my son to give in to bad behavior. I would let the child's teacher know what happened so he/she could keep an eye on the kids acting out bad.
You are doing the right thing. If adults returned back every bad behavior compared to what they received, I'm sure we would all be dead.
Just keep teaching him what is right from wrong. I hope to teach my son to just walk away and tell an adult.
We don't want to lower ourselves to the level of others. I think we are respected more for doing the right thing. Anyone can be spiteful, but the real man walks away.
One Happy Mom in Arizona.
I think you did the right
I think you did the right thing and I would definitely tell the preschool teacher about this. She needs to work with the little boy (and probably his parents) right away so this doesn't happen again. I don't think this is a case of bullying unless the behavior against your child happens again. I don't believe that your child should be taught, at this young age, to be tough and defend himself. He may take that as approval to use physical force to deal with a situation. At this point, telling the teacher (and you, his parents, of course!) is the right thing to do.
Lattemom is the mother of three energetic kids ages 6, 8 & 12 and a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com.
Three is an age where kids
Three is an age where kids are capable of understanding right from wrong, however if they are not getting that kind of education at home, it can be tough on the pre-school staff to implement discipline on "bullies." We dealt with this a lot when I had a child in pre-school. The school staff and the director should be aware of potential problems with certain kids exhibiting aggressive/hostile behavior and keeping in touch with the parents of these children. At my son's pre-school, things escalated with one child to the point where he was assaulting other kids, and he was expelled because his parents would not step up to help. In another incident at a different school, my son was the frequent victim of a biter, yet the school would not deal with it (needless to say, we left that place promptly).
Every daycare and pre-school should have a published discipline policy and follow it to the letter. Additionally, if the staff is not trying to deal with this by involving the parents, then it might be time to find a new pre-school. You are your child's advocate, don't be afraid to make a complaint to the director, even if this is the first incident.
That said, three is a hard age to teach kids to handle situations like this. I agree with teaching them to just walk away and say things like "we don't treat people that way," but little kids also need to know they can go to the teacher for backup, they shouldn't have to handle these kids of situations on their own.
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Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your responses and the teacher is aware of this particular child's behavior. My son was a little embarrased and really didn't care to go to school the next day but I assured him that things would be okay and that he had to face his fears. He wants to be a police officer like his daddy so I told him that he has to start his learning career. We will be fine, thanks again!!