Parenting with Love and Logic? Has anyone read this???

Love and Logic is fantastic. I don't have the book, but my husband and I took a 8 session course on it. www.loveandlogic.com has a lot of materials that can be purchased and some free advice articles.

We took the program on the advice of a counselor for some problems we were having with our pre-teen. It has made a tremendous difference in our relationship with her. The techniques work well on our 2 year old too.

It basically gives children the freedom to make poor choices and deal with the logical consequences. Instead of being the bad guy doling out the punishments, you are the nice "consultant" they can come to to help them think of solutions. I like that it looks at mess ups as learning experiences.

I'd recommend it to anyone who has kids.

My sister swears by this book - I haven't read it but it's on my list.

Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 7 and 3.

That's the same philosophy outlined in "Parenting With Dignity" and Alfie Cohen's "Unconditional Parenting". It talks about, the fact that, like it or not, our kids WILL make all of the major decisions in their lives. It's our job to teach them HOW to make good decisions. And that starts, by letting them learn to make decisions EARLY. Early on, kids should have about 20% of the decision making responsibility, but by the time they near 18, they'll have 80% of the decision making responsibility. It reminds us that we shouldn't control the kids decisions so tightly, but let them fail (which they will) at their first attempts at decisions, when the decisions don't have grave consequences. For example, rather than TELL my 8 yr old that his decision to skip wearing a jacket to school is stupid and force my "sound" decision on him, I should let him deal directly with the consequences of his decision - good or bad. This teaches him, better than anything that I might say or do. Directly experiencing all of the steps of decision making, and all of the emotions that go with it, are the only way they will fully appreciate that those steps are needed. When a kid decides to skip the jacket in cold weather, for example, he must negotiate not only physical comfort vs discomfort, but the other factors - wanting to look cool with his peers, making sure to remember not leave it behind, etc. And if he thinks through those things and decides to forgo the jacket because he'll only be outside for 10 minutes before school starts, but then it turns out to be cold at recess too, then he learns another aspect of the decision process - the fact that he didn't think far enough ahead. Kids can practise making all sorts of decisions early on that gives them the practical experience needed for making sound decisions later, like whether or not to try drugs, etc. But, we must remember that when kids are faced with that choice (trying drugs), they are dealing with the emotions of decision making and the more times that they have suffered the negative consequences - not of breaking mom and dad's rules - but of their OWN decisions, the more likely they are to be able to wade through the emotions then. That's why I will not force my child to wear a jacket, force him to put away all of his puzzle pieces or re-write his sloppy paper - I'll suggest it/encourage it/weigh the pro and cons with him, but I won't force him. Maybe it's pure coincedence, but I so far have a very neat, organized, responsible eight year old. My 5 yr old is still suffering the consequences of MANY of his decisions, but last night with his cousins, he refused a sweet treat for desert because he remembers getting a tummy ache from eating too much Easter candy - his choice that he learned from. Meanwhile, my nieces - whose mom restricted and refused candy to her kids, has been dealing with kids whinning and begging for candy and angrily blaming their mean mom every day, since Sunday. My sister thought I was crazy to let my son eat a whole chocolate bunny, but it wasn't going to kill him and he wasn't going to learn from my advice. So, he learned the hard way, on a minor issue that never put him in harm's way, while my sister's kids didn't learn anything from Mom's decision. Of course, I don't let my kids make decisions that can hurt them, like letting them skip teeth brushing or something. And because they have so much first hand experience with their own failed decisions, they actually LISTEN more to my advice!

"Only a life lived for others, is the life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein

I have several friends (and my sister too) that love this philosophy! I do have the book, but haven't read it yet. However, I think by watching my sister, I already incorporate many of the techniques they recommend. Thanks for reminding me to get that book out and read it!! I got it as a baby gift when I had my son...almost 2 years ago!

Hobbymommy, 38, is a discussion leader from Mesa. She is a happy stay-at-home mommy to a 3-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son.