Did you take your husband's name when you married? This has been on this discussion board before - how about this twist. A man wanted to take his wife's last name and had to SUE to do so. It took him over 2 years. Now, he could have done it sooner, but it would have cost him more money than if he was a woman. So he sued because of sex discrimination. Why should it be cheaper to change your name if you are a woman changing your name to your husband's name? The story is below. What do you think? How about when your children grow up and get married and want to do something like this? Your thoughts please.
Man Takes Wife's Last Name After Suing
LOS ANGELES (May 6) - Michael Buday promised his bride he would take her last name so her father's family name could carry on.
But because California state agencies have no simple way for a man to take his wife's surname, Buday soon realized he would have to pay extra - or file a lawsuit - to fulfill his promise to his wife, Diana Bijon.
With the backing of the American Civil Liberties Union, the Marina del Rey couple sued to change the way the state issues marriage and driver's licenses, because it cost more for him to take her name, than for her to take his.
Buday picked up a driver's license with his new name Monday, two years after they filed a sex discrimination lawsuit against the state.
For Buday to take his wife's name, he would have to pay court fees of more than $300, advertise his plans in newspaper for four weeks and get judicial approval.
For Bijon to take her husband's name, she would have had to pay a county application fee that ranges from $50 to $90.
"I never imagined the state would make it so difficult," said Buday, who was married in 2005. "It was a symbolic gesture, but it's also very real for us. It's about what our children will be named, about starting a new family on our own terms. For us, it was very traditional."
According to the settlement agreement, the state Department of Motor Vehicle and Department of Health Services changed their policies and forms to allow husbands, wives and domestic partners to take each other's last names.
"When we got married, the law basically said, 'Don't be silly, only a woman can change her name when she gets married.' I'm proud to be part of changing that," Diana Bijon said.
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press.
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
Interesting. I wonder why it
Interesting. I wonder why it was such a big deal. I think it's kind of him to take her name so her family name will carry on. The only problem it brings up is the whole family history thing, but that is already an issue when people have different last names.
I think it was nice of him, especially if they are planning to have kids--certainly makes life a little less confusing.
Brooke Romney is an unbalanced mom of three young boys who constantly has too much to do, and too little time. She writes the Mom Beat column for The Gilbert Republic.
I had a friend in Virginia
I had a friend in Virginia years ago who wanted to take his wife's last name, but finally dropped the idea because it was so costly and time-consuming. He also got SO MUCH grief from his family, some of whom threatened to have nothing to do with him or his new wife ever again if he proceeded. They decided it wasn't worth the fallout.
I'm glad things are finally changing and couples can decide for themselves what name to choose.
Good for them. They found a
Good for them. They found a law that needed some tweeking and had the fortitude to stick it out and make it easier for the next person.
Good for him. And how
Good for him. And how selfless of him to do that for her family.
Interestingly in Italy women do not take their husband's name. For such a traditional country, I thought this was quite forward.
I think this example fits
I think this example fits the definition of sex discrimination. It needs to be fought on all fronts if we are truly going to be a society that allows "equal" rights.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
hey wait....there is
hey wait....there is something out there that women pay less than a man pays? LOL!
just~me
I come from a family of all
I come from a family of all girls so wanted to keep my name. My husband wanted people to know that we were family. So we decided to hyphenate our names - the both of us. This idea is more common back East - but rarely done here. The comments we've gotten about our names are funny ("Are you allowed to do that?"). The only big issue is that our kids have had to learn how to write these long last names. But it's been worth it.
Lattemom is the mother of three energetic kids ages 6, 8 & 11 and a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com.
I agree that the law should
I agree that the law should have been changed, but really don’t see the need for a lawsuit to get it done. Why didn’t they discuss changing the law with the state officials before filing a lawsuit? My 2¢
I don't think it's anyone's
I don't think it's anyone's business!! That is such a personal thing between two people. You hear people change their names to things like Moonbeam, Stardust or absurd things like that and yet it's easy to do!! Where's the sense?
Paz