Ok, so some friends of ours that we went to dinner with a few wks ago sort of embarrassed us. We went to a 5 star restaurant and dinner was great but as the night wore on the guy started to get really loud and he started to swear and he dropped the f-bomb more than a few times and the more drinks he had the louder he seemed to get. Their was an older couple at the table behind us (the guy had his back to them) they kept turning around giving us these looks. You could tell they were getting upset. It was during the week and it was close to 10 so there were not many diners left. Our friend kept telling (funny stories) but dropping the f-bomb the whole time, At one point the man behind him almost stood up. My husband and I kept looking at each other knowing what was going on. Our friend was really into his story and was oblivious to what was going on. Should I have stopped our friend (I tried to once but I just motioned with my hands but it went unnoticed. So should I have interrupted him and told him to cool it? What would have been the proper thing to do in that case???? It was so embarrassing for my husband and I. We just don't act like that and that older man was looking at us like we were at fault to. We just wanted the check and wanted to get out of there...
What would have been the proper thing to do????
Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children, Joshua 12, Brooke 2 and Mason 10 months
I have been in that
I have been in that situation before, albeit the couple was young, but had the same effect on other diners. The time to mention it would have been at dinner that evening. You probably could have just simply said," ....that last story was so funny, but I don't think everyone shares our sense of humor. We better try to keep it down!" I am sure your friend would have taken the hint. If not, then you might want to consider whether or not you can take the heat when you go out with this couple.
I agree with jacksmommy -
I agree with jacksmommy - you've got to nip it in the bud and let the guy know that he's offending others.
Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 6 and 2.
I agree. Next time just lean
I agree. Next time just lean in and say, hey, quick with the f-word. You're making the other diners uncomfortable. I'm sure your friend wasn't trying to offend anyone and probably didn't realize how loud he was.
Karina Bland is raising her 9-year-old son in Tempe with a lot of love, humor and support from her friends and family. A longtime journalist covering child welfare and education issues for The Arizona Republic, she blogs about raising good kids.
I would have said," We
I would have said," We better keep it down before we get thrown out." and I would have repeated it until he shut up.
There is no way I would have taken it as good as you did.
My husband would have a difficult time getting me to join them for dinner again. Which my husband probably wouldn't attend again either. Its taken me 37 years to learn it, but I have finally learned that we are in control of our surroundings.
We don't even have to answer the phone or front door if we don't wish. Why do we let someone talk like this in our presence. Per my own mother's rule: I don't care what goes on behind closed doors, but when you are in public, you better act like you have manners.
One Happy Mom in Arizona.
both ideas are good ones.. i
both ideas are good ones.. i like the kicked out thing... that might have worked... our friends are right around 30 yrs old so a few yrs younger. We might be starting a little biz venture with him so I knew I didn't want to make them mad like I was being this stick in the mud. I've been told I can be that way b/c I rarely drink.... (not by my husband) he rarely drinks either,,, Just girlfriends...
Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children, Joshua 12, Brooke 2 and Mason 10 months