I will be having my second child in November. During RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) season, and our pediatrician has already warned me that the baby should not come in contact with anyone with a cold (including older brother.) November is the start of cold/flu season. I have several friends who have already noted that’d they’d like to come visit for a week or so to help me after baby is born. Many of them have small children they’d be bringing. It’s not that I don’t want the help, it is so generous, I just worry that we will be uncertain at that time if anyone has a cold and if so it can possibly contribute to the infant getting RSV. I already have my toddler (big brother) to worry about with a cold I don’t want to worry about more children running around the home with the sniffles. Any suggestions on how to politely say ‘no’ to their offers?
LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 9 months and 3 years old.
I might just kindly say
I might just kindly say "thank you for the offer, let me check the calendar to see what time frame will work best because I've had so many offers from so many kind people so I'm trying to space the visits out, as to not overwhelm everyone offering to help as well as (son) who will be overwhelmed with the new baby as it is".
That way if you put it that way, then you are telling them that you will get back to them on when is a good time for you and your family and the ball is in your court. They've made the offer, you're aware of it, and now they will wait to see when you let them know is the best time.
If they happen to mention it again, just let them know you're working on your schedule and will let them know when it's best.
I have a different take on
I have a different take on it.. Just be honest! It's the best policy,, If you don't get back to them on a schedule, they may just be knocking on your door, when it's convenient for them.. You can say it with out being rude and stuff, but there are just those kind of people that no matter what, they are gonna get offended.. It's your child and no one cares more about your baby than you do!!..Stick with the honest approach, cause next time something comes up and they'll wonder if your just giving them a BS answer, cause your word on this wasnt true... A true friend and a family member should respect your thoughts...
" just my Opinion" LOL
Both of my daughters were
Both of my daughters were born on the month of November. Basically I just politely explained to my friends that this is an RSV season and would like to limit to 1 adult at a time only. They had no problem with that as they understood that it was for health reasons.
My oldest did end up getting RSV but that was when she was a year old and one of the very worst flu/RSV seasons in Arizona (year of 2005). Luckily, she had a bed just opened up at Phx Children's Hospital to be admitted and recovered well after that!
Good luck :)
H~
Mom of 2 Daughters - Kelly (3 yrs) and Skylar (21 mos old)
zoostationu2@hotmail.com
You have evey right to do
You have evey right to do what you think is best for your baby, so I agree with the last two comments - just be honest, give them your reasons and most people will understand - and if they don't, they'll get over it.
Maybe you can suggest they come visit you during a less risky part of the year, like in the spring......with a toddler and a baby, you'll still have your hands full and can always use help.......and by that time the baby will be older and more "fun" for visitors anyway..........imho, newborns are no fun at all for that first two or three months...........lovable, but not very engaging and downright cranky!:)
My preemie was born last
My preemie was born last year during RSV season too and we were told to not take him anywhere. They told us we should take him to the Synergis clinic (spelling?) but the shot was about $3000! We just stayed home and had anyone that came in the house disinfect their hands and no sick children or adults. I'm very glad now that we were over protective of him because another friend of ours that had their baby two weeks later, picked up the RSV virus and really had a hard time with it (lost weight, wouldn't eat) and that's really scary as an infant!
Wife and 1st time parent of 8 1/2 month old - CJ. The love of my life!
Christy
Independent Consultant
Baby Splendor
www.mybabysplendor.com/christylamb