Over the past week i have backed out of two events because two people were sick and I did not want my daughter exposed to the illness.
First - my daughter had a play date with some of our relatives. We were invited, and I said "we would possibly go, let me see what we have going on." I decided we would go and when i contacted one of the relatives who was joining us, she said "not sure if we are going now, because Madeline (a 7 yr old) has been vomiting. I thought to myself "not sure?". We are definitely not going, but i just said "ok" - thinking the get together would be cancelled. (Why get the other 7 kids sick - was my thought) The next morning i get a phone call and the same relative wants to know if i am coming and i politely declined. So the rest of them got together and i chose not to go with my 17 month old who is the youngest of the 8 kids.
Second - a relative had spent the day with a close friend at the hospital ER on Saturday. It was totally unexpected trip to the ER and this relative was supposed to come to our house for dinner that evening. My husband and i knew our relative would be with his friend and we understand that completely!! Our concern was that - we know the friend was vomiting and had diarrhea, but the individual was never really diagnosed with anything as far as we know. So, my husband and i were going back and forth on a polite way to say lets not have dinner tonight because you've been hanging out at the ER for 7 hours. We were going to suggest that we reschedule, because we had not idea at this point when he was coming over. Plus it was already 3 hours past the original time set for our early dinner. When he called he immediately said there was no diagnosis for his friend and that he would hate to be carrying something and expose the baby to anything. He then said he had been using the hand sanitizer all day at the hospital and the doctor said it was nothing contagious. I was relieved and said i appreciated him thinking of our daughter and suggested we reschedule.
I feel as though my daughter is only 17 months old and if i can prevent her from being exposed to an illness....i'm gonna do it. But then sometimes i feel as though i am overly concerned and people have even made comments to me that i need to relax. They have even stated "she's gonna get sick" or "she needs to build up her immune system". I know she is going to get sick...i by no means consider myself a germ-a-phobe (sp?), but if i can prevent it...why wouldn't i? My daughter has had 2 colds and an ear infection, so it's not like i am keeping her in the house and not letting her out. One relative even made the comment to my husband "well, you go to work don't you? You don't think your gonna catch anything there?"
My question is......am i overreacting? How do others handle situations like these?
just~me
My son has been in daycare
My son has been in daycare since about 5mo. That first winter, he was sick a lot...nothing too terribly serious, but was seen by someone about every 4 weeks (I was also a 1st time mom, so I plead that too). Now, at 2.5yrs, he rarely gets sick. The last time he was on any sort of medicine (OTC or prescription) was Dec 2006. He'll get a little cold, but it's something he can shake on his own. I know he'll get sick again eventually, I certainly am not saying he's indestructible now, but I do think there is something to building up the immune system. This happens automatically in a daycare setting.
That said, you have to be smart about it. I wouldn't worry about colds and germs in an everyday sense, but if I was talking to a Mom who wanted to get together for a playdate right after telling me little "Jimmy" spent all night throwing up, I'd definitely put it off for a week. Why tempt fate? I'm striving for a middle of the road approach.
Don't worry about what other people say, knocking down a parent's choices is practically a national sport.
i agree - go with your gut
i agree - go with your gut feeling. my son was in daycare after i went back to work. he did get sick every so often...but it 'built up' his immune system. he is 3 years old now and has had a few colds,etc. however i still to this day am a bit hesitant to take him to the mall play area. i cannot tell you how many times he gets sick on the 3rd day after playing there. however recently i took him and he did not get sick. maybe his immune system is stronger?? i say do what makes you most comfy...you are the one that has to get up with the child in the middle of the night (when they are sick) so go with your gut instinct.
LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 9 months and 3 years old.
If I know we are getting
If I know we are getting together with someone that has a cold then I am okay with it. I really try to make sure food/drinks are not shared. However I really try not to expose my children to anything real nasty like bad stomach bugs or flus. I guess I view things the same way when it comes to getting together with friends/family and my kids are sick. I will take them if they just have a little cold/cough but I dont go to any functions if it is worse.
Every parent is different.
Every parent is different. That's why we sometimes criticize others...just because they think/act differently than we do. Personally, I'm a little more "laid back" about the illness thing. I take my kids to the mall play areas, to play dates, the park, the zoo, etc. and I honestly don't even think, "what if they get sick?" I also don't worry if one of their friends has a cold, they all seem to have the sniffles from time to time. Fortunately, my kids, who are 3 and almost 2, have never been very sick (perhaps because I breastfed them until they were 2 years old! lol) so I don't really worry about it. I hear other moms express concern over bringing their child certain places, and I am actually surprised, because their worries have never crossed my mind! But, just because I don't worry about it, I try not to judge friends that do. If it makes you feel more comfortable to reschedule your play date, then do so!
Hobbymommy, 38, is a discussion leader from Mesa. She is a happy stay-at-home mommy to a 3-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son.
In these 2 situations, I
In these 2 situations, I would have done the same thing. We just went to an Easter gathering - lots of children. One adult went to shake the hand of another man and he said he wasn't shaking anyones hand because he might have the flu. I was shocked. Why would come and expose all these children and adults to your sickness?? I think it is rude and selfish. Just my 2 cents.
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
I agree with you. If I knew
I agree with you. If I knew other kids were sick, I would definitely keep him home. I had one child leave my home with high temp, and my entire family came down sick, so I'm on your side. Once I placed my child in the church nursery along with 12-15 kids, and he came down with strep throat, so I don't even let him go into church nursery anymore. Our kids get sick enough without us throwing them in the middle of sick children that we are aware of being sick.
One Happy Mom in Arizona.
definately go with your guy.
definately go with your guy. you can't avoid all illnesses out there, but if there's something specific like the playdate example, just decline.
Susie is a discussion leader in the east valley for arizonamoms.com. She has two sons, ages 7 and 3.
There is nothin worse than
There is nothin worse than sick kids. My middle one gets sick all the time and did as a baby. He still gets sick all the time--it didn't build up his immune system. We are now searching for some answers. I would do everything I could to keep my kid from being sick--not live in a bubble, but not walk into sickness either. We started taking probiotics, and I feel like it's helped. You can find them at Sprouts.
Brooke Romney is an unbalanced mom of three young boys who constantly has too much to do, and too little time. She writes the Mom Beat column for The Gilbert Republic.
I laughed reading the
I laughed reading the comment about the mall play area. My 6 year old hasn't wanted to play there in 2 years....b/c we both used to joke with each other "do you want to get sick? Then let's go to the PV Mall play area!" Hands down, she or her brother would get a cold 2-4 days after playing there....EVERY SINGLE TIME. And, yes, of course, I used wipes, etc. after we left.
It doesn't look dirty in the play area to me, and my kids don't seem to get sick a lot; despite being in school, activities, etc. Just the mall play area....fast food play areas have never made us sick!
Happy2BMommy, is a stay-at-home mom who just turned 40 (argh!) with a 7 yr. old daughter and a 5 yr. old son, and is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Scottsdale.