cribs

I personally think that any time other than for sleeping at 15 months old is too much time in the crib. Your baby should be out playing, "roaming", interacting with you, and doing what babies at that age do, which is not being confined to a crib. I mean sure I agree if you need a nap or need to take a shower then that's fine, because you're taking the necessary precautions to keep her safe, but she's almost a toddler now and very active and should not be in the confines of a crib for any length of time. This is just my opinion, but I think it would be cruel to keep a child cooped up in a crib that old ... or at any age for that matter ... cribs are for sleeping and using for short times like showers, etc. not babysitters or a place to put your child if you don't want to watch them or entertain them.

I agree with the other poster. I also don't think it is appropriate for a child to be in a crib while their parent naps. It should be for the child's sleep time and if you have to while you shower for the child's safety. To say that a child's time is occupied with cable TV while she is in her crib is ludicrous. I don't mean to point fingers, but it saddens me that your child is spending so much time not learning from you. Parenthood is exhausting, but if you need a break,take it while she sleeps or arrange for a competent and interactive caregiver for the times that you need a nap or a break away from the house. When I am tired or need a break, I read to my son or provide quiet items for him to play with like crayons or puzzles. If you child is watching TV, it should be with you asking questions and prompting interaction about what she is seeing.

I disagree with the other posters. I think crib time is great, if the child is happy there, why not? If she is happy and safe for an hour, two hours - where is the harm?? I do like the idea of the child playing better than watching t.v., but even that on a restricted basis has been used when you really need to rest. Children can learn manipulatives and how to entertain themselves, something many don't ever learn (hence the DVD players and video games in cars, at restaurants, anywhere they can go.) Being by yourself and playing quietly is not a punishment, it actually can be valuable, important learning time. (play some music or books on tape??)

And it sounds like you do a lot of other things together.

Many of us grew up with playpens, same idea only higher, and it worked for both mother and child.

So, I think crib time is acceptable, what is too much?? I think at this age when she is mad about being in and no longer is being constructive would be my trigger. Good luck!

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

i think a healthy amount of time in the crib is for her sleeping,for you to shower, or for her safety if there is something that comes up. Thats about it. If you need to nap, nap when she does. Otherwise, putting her in the crib is limiting her exercise. at her age, she needs to be out and about and seeing the world.

I also meant to mention that I think cable television, or rather any television at all in a 15 month olds room is ludicrious!!! If you're putting your child in a crib and turning on the television and using that as "crib time" so to speak, that's ridiculous. I'm not trying to ridicule you, but it really saddened me when I read your post. I'm sure you're not using the crib as a place where she stays all the time, but I don't think crib time is acceptable at her age for any amount of time other than for sleeping and or if you need to do something like take a shower. Exhaustion comes with parenthood and though we all would love naps and be able to wave a wand and be refreshed, the reality of it is we can't and as she gets older you'll probably get more tired and feel the need for more naps, but whe she's older you'll be out of luck with the use of a crib.

Also, I'm not quite sure what age appropriate and toys that would be safe to leave her unattended in a crib, other than soft toys like stuffed animals or something, but then even those often times have small parts like button eyes, etc. that can pop out and be a choking hazard so I wouldn't want to leave them alone with something like that either ... so I'm not quite sure what toys you could safely leave her along with to play that wouldn't pose a safety hazard.

I think excess crib time and playpens are for lazy parents. Playing alone is a valuable skill for a child to learn. At 15 months, a child generally does not play alone long enough for an adult to nap. As for the other poster who doesn't think tons of crib time is a bad thing...if a child is left alone long enough, they start to believe no one is coming for them. Sad, so sad.

I agree, sad very sad .. my daughter is 5 and an only child and is always wanting me to play with her ... heck often times when she naps I'll lay down with her nap because I know it will be my only opportunity as I can't just say "oh mommy's going to take a nap, keep yourself out of trouble" (I wish) ... I can't imagine not playing with her when she wants me to ... of course she has learned independant play and does that well, but for the most part I'm the entertainer and we play together, whether it be crafts, dress up, dolls, baking, coloring, painting, etc. you know .... but I can't imagine not doing those things with her .... we love playing together!! Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying you don't play with your daughter or entertain her, etc. but it's important that she is your # 1 priority and you aren't using the crib as a way out of not playing or as a babysitter because you're tired and feel you need a nap or a break!!

I have to agree. The crib should be designated for sleeping, not a place to put your child so you can nap. Neither one of my children have ever been put in the crib other than for nap or bed time. If your child is awake, you should be too.15 month olds can easily find a way to crawl out of a crib and if you are napping or in the shower, she could be at risk for encountering something dangerous. She is at a very curious age and if she finds a way out, there could be a major problem. Shower before she wakes up or during her nap time. I can recall many days when I finally got my shower after my husbands day of work!

JenM

I agree with many of the other posters, I am going for a softer sell.

Yes, it is exhausting chasing after a 15mo all day, but she needs you to chase after her. The main way that she is learning is through exploration, so she needs to get as much exploration as possible.

There are a few things you can do to make it easier on yourself though. Put toys in bunches on the floor in various places. For example, one corner has board books and pillows and blankets, another has a shape sorter or blocks. In her travels, she can finds these areas and play, at least for a few minutes, on her own. As she gets older, she'll just go to these areas when she wants to do a particular activity. It's training her to amuse herself. Also, make sure you have adequate child protection, ie outlet covers, gates, and such. If your house is adequately safeguarded, you still have to keep an eye on her, but don't have to follow 1 step behind, that's less tiring. Finally, include her in some of your chores, like laundry. Toddlers love "folding" laundry. And my son still prefers his vegies raw, cold, or frozen, because I always sat him beside me while I prepped dinner.

Get rid of the TV in her room. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time (includes TVs and computers) until a child is 2, and then only in moderation. TV is a 2D medium and her world is a 3D world, so she needs 3D interactions. I can't remember the name of the study that was released last fall, but it concluded that those DVDs geared towards infants and toddlers (like baby Einstein) actually delayed language development, which is the exact opposite of why people buy them.

Your m-i-l means well, I'm sure, but conventional wisdom has changed a lot since your husband was a baby, and her advice is out of date. If she really wants to be helpful, set up a playdate with Grandma once a week or so. You can have some grown-up time, go to the gym, get together for lunch or a movie with a friend, whatever, and Grandma gets quality time with her granddaughter.

For the record, we did have a playpen. It had a changing table attachment that we used until he outgrew it. Most of the rest of the time it was a toybox, and when we went anywhere overnight, it was a portable crib. But I don't think he ever played in it at home.

I only had my son in the crib when it was time for him to sleep......I wanted him to associate the crib with sleeping, and not playing.
Yes, he wore me out, but that was part of the bargain, I guess, and I knew it wouldn't last forever. I either showered early in the morning before he woke up,while he was napping, or I had someone else watching him.

Wow. I feel like someone thru me under the bus, big time. did anyone read the line 'I feel guilty putting her in her crib for any long length of time.' I do not leave her in there often, I am a working mom sometimes I need a nap. As far as TV we are talking educational, like Einsteins for example. I am also very well educated when it comes to the care of my child. I know what toys are harmful or inappropriate. I posted blog as I wanted an opinion, I do not leave her in there often, anytime other then sleep time i feel is just right. It really made me sad that most of the responses to my blog were so negative.

We read together, we color together, we talk together, we speak our own gibberish.

I didnt know I had to validate myself.

Happy Wife. Happy Mother to Ashley 11/14/87 and Izabel 11/3/06

When you open up a topic for conversation expect that you're giong to get any and every response whether it's encouraging, discouraging, enlightening or disheartened ... that's the breaks when you ask you're opinion on something. If you don't want to feel like you need to validate yourself then explain everything up front so all of the details and or your thoughts and feelings are out in the open and then you won't have to. If you're looking for something to be sugar coated and you're not prepared to take the heat from the comments you receive then don't bother posting, because you're not always going to hear everything you wish you would or hear things they way you wanted to.

And as far as being a working mom and needing nap sometimes, well I'm sure there's more than one of us on here that are working mom's, myself included, and exhaustion and being tired is part of the mom deal .... like it or not ... although lack of energy on your part shouldn't constitute crib time on your daughters part.

my daughter is only in her crib for sleeping. I think this helps her to understand this is her bed and it's for sleeping. When i am taking a shower, she is in a play yard in my room with me.

Sorry you feel like you were thrown under the bus. I think moms are very passionate when it comes to children (especially there own) and that is why some of the responses were a little harsh.

Like i mentioned - i put my daughter in a play yard while i shower and some noted they think play yards are for lazy parents. At first i was like wow....am i a lazy parent and then i thought about it and read more posts and was like....ya know what....I know where she is while i'm showering, i can see her and she is safe and thats what matters to me. So she has to be in her play yard for 15 minutes while i shower.....big deal.

just~me

I think to much time in the crib is at night when the baby is crying and the parent doesnt want to get up and hold their child, cause they want their there own sleep..In a previous post I believe most or all the parents think or feel it's ok to let their baby cry.. I personally find it horrible, but that is just my opinion.. If I had to lose my sleep and hold my baby in rocker until they feel asleep I did that.. my kids come 1st and foremost in mine and my husbands life and we feel that this is the way it should be, but again this is our opinion..
Yes, I didnt work at the time like alot of you moms do and I do have respect for the moms that work, yet are still fulltime moms. I say this cause there are those moms that work ft and are parttime moms, they put their own needs before their kids, they think that just because they play wiht them or take them to their activities they are great, but emotionally there is no relationship. 1. cause they make sure that what they do for their kids is around their time and pleasures and if they can't do it, then they ax's their kids activity instead of their own. 2. cause they they think buying them "material" stuff or being their friend is better than having to discipline. alas, the kids rules the house. 3. lots of rules, but no relationship..
ok that's my opinion. And from what you wrote on your post, I give you 2 thumbs up for doing the best that you can do.

" just my Opinion"

I have 2 kids under the age of 2 and getting a shower and/or cleaning the house is very difficult. I totally understand your pain; my suggestion is to get stuff done at naptime or after your little one goes to sleep at night...depending on how noisy your chore is...like vacuming. Some days I nap when they nap, and some days I get stuff done when they nap. You could also try getting one of those play gated areas and put some fun toys in there so that you could get stuff done around the house and still be able to see your child. Try to keep the crib a place for just sleeping and naps so that your little one associates it with down time and rest. You might try letting your child "help" with chores like giving her a play vaccum or a small broom; at that age they love to copy you. Hope my suggestion helps!!

It sounds like you are doing great! Your daughter seems perfectly happy to be there and can entertain herself at 15 months. She's the child I wish I had!

My four year old used to be a nightmare, sneaking off to do really bad things like sneak food. He even found some Tylenol and ate one! (6 hours in the hospital later...) We bought one of those hexagonal fences for inside and called it JAIL! We put him in it when we just couldn't keep an eye on him for whatever reason. Believe me, this kids needs one eye on him at all times! He's such a big brute that he learned very quickly how to lift the thing up and get out of it! Oh well! We do what we can and what we need to to get by.

Don't worry about feeling bad. What you're doing seems right for your family. Bless your little girl's heart! She could teach other kids a thing or two about entertaining themselves!

I don't even think the crib is the problem here people. What the heck does a 15 month old have a TV with cable in her room for????

Any baby under 2 years old should have absolutely no tv, read up on it, read up on pixels.....It doesn't matter if you have Baby Einstein videos..... OMG.

TV's don't belong in anyone's bedroom, we don't have one in ours and our 7 year old and future children certainly will not.

Work for yourself!
Kathy De Lisle
Independent Marketing Executive
Melaleuca
www.workathomeunited.com/delisle
For more info, contact me at katfishmama@gmail.com

Wow...miss a few days, miss a lot. I say if she's content, and putting her in the crib lets you get some stuff done, don't feel guilty about the time. You know you're spending quality time with her and you can't be at her side 24-7. That's not to say leave her all day, but reasonable stretches of time so that you can clean up, do bills, exercise, etc, and not go crazy. She'll let you know when she needs you.