I lost my pediatrician of 12 years today and I'm so upset. Apparently his ego was more of a concern than treating my 6 year old correctly. My son came down with Lyme disease this summer while we vacationed back east in NY and NJ. Kit's original blood test came back negative and I was worried we tested too soon so I called him back and all I got was, "The time frame was fine." His nurse said, "I don't think the doctor would have ordered the test, or the lab accept it, if the time frame wasn't ok." So, I did what any concerned mom do, I called my doctor friends back east and asked them how they treat the disease. They both said, if there's a rash, we treat right away with meds and then look at the blood test. I told my doctor this and, well, you would have thought I tripped him on the playground. He was PO'd! Five minutes later, he called and ordered the meds! Grrr...
My son took his meds but he was only given two weeks worth. Everything I read and was told by my friends was three weeks worth of meds. So, I called my doctor and asked why he only ordered two weeks worth and he got mad again. I wasn't telling him what to do, I was just asking him a question, but he got defensive. He said that I should find a new doctor if I didn't trust him and that I seemed to have a problem with the decisions he was making. I said fine and then five minutes later he called me again trying to understand. First he yells at me then he calls to try to "understand" ...double grrr!
Honestly, what's not to get? Lyme disease caused my son a lot of pain in his knees and neck. He would drop suddenly with high fevers. He was a mess and I watched him go through this. After my doctor admitted that he would have to do some research, I figured I had better do my own. He got mad even though he acknowledged that I had a right to ask questions and seek other opinions. He got mad because I suggested the blood test was done too soon...I was right! Then he gets mad because I ask about the dosage. All my friends who have kids with the disease have all said to be careful because their kids have shown symptoms well after taking the three weeks of anitbiotics. Why wouldn't I ask for the full three week dosage? I'm a mom and am worried about my son. What's not to get?
So, I'm out a doctor and I am soooo bummed. Have you ever challenged your doctor? How did they take it?
I just lost my Dr. too, but
I just lost my Dr. too, but because he is leaving private practice to go work for a hospital. It is a bummer. But, there are lots of good ones out there. We interviewed Drs. to find him. We won't have to interview again, since we'll stick to the Drs in his practice. But questions like "how many questions do you expect me to ask?" would be a good one. If it's any less than "until you are satified with the answer" I'd keep walking. I think you did great. How lucky your son is that you pursued the right course for him!!! And didn't take "don't you trust me" for an answer.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
I've actually thought of
I've actually thought of changing my children's pediatrician, not because I didn't agree with a diagnosis. (I'll get back to this)
I do ask lots of questions when determining a treatment for my kids. I've not encountered anything like Molly did. That would anger me. Would I leave? That's hard to say. But as moms, we are the ones that have to push.
Come to think of it, I have not agreed with some of the speech therapy discussions I've had with therapists at medical offices and at school. I put my feelings out there, though, and try to reach an acceptible solution. I'm trying something right now. We'll see how it goes, if I don't think it will work, I'll tell them. They know. They probably find me annoying, but who else will advocate for our children?
As for me thinking of leaving my ped...it has to do with the service I got during my son's kidney ordeal. He ended up with high blood pressure after his surgery...the hospital we were at suggested I take Alex's blood pressure at least daily. I couldn't find a pediatric blood pressure machine, so the hospital suggested calling my ped's office to see if they did courtesy checks. At first I asked if they could suggest a place to buy a pediatric blood pressure machine. They suggested places I already called, which didn't have them. So I asked if I could get a courtesy check. The woman talked around that question and suggested I try a few more places. I could set up an appointment. I understand the need to make money, but setting up an appointment for a quick reading seemed insane...I ended up taking my son to Target to do the reading...I worried it would be accurate. Then I bought a machine with the smallest cuff...it was a bit large, but when we took him to the hospital, the readings were close so that put my mind at ease. I'm still annoyed with the ped's office, tho.
I haven't been back yet and I am thinking of interviewing other peds. I may just go back and tell the pediatrician before I act with such haste, though.
Arizona Moms Editor Yvette Armendariz shares stories about raising her kids and tips for busy parents in her Time-starved (goddess) Mom blog. She and her husband are raising two children, ages 8 and 11.
Arizona Moms, I would talk
Arizona Moms, I would talk with the Doctor. Sometimes the front desk staff does not reflect what your Doctor would have done. I guess they think they are being helpful to the Doctor when in reality they are doing the opposite and unless you speak up, they may never know.
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
I did talk to the doctor
I did talk to the doctor about his nurse and her sarcasm. He said I needed to make sure I asked for him specifically, which I did. Then he said he was just too busy to answer phone calls and, I get that, too. He was just upset that I was asking questions about the treatment he was giving my son.
I'm not that upset about him getting mad at me. I can handle that. What really creeps me out was how he would speak to me and then, *call me back* and try to go over everything again. I was beginning to feel stalked!!! And, what really bothered me was that his ego would get in the way of any really talking. I was just asking a question and I think I needed a more reasonable response than, "That's what the red book says to do." Grrr...
First of all, good for you
First of all, good for you for sticking up for your son!!! Doctors are not infallible. They don't know everything about every disease, so as moms it is our right and obligation to do research and become informed advocates and participants in our childrens health (as well as our own).
You are a good mom for this. It has happened to me that I've had to second and triple guess them on things I know in my heart are wrong and I have been right after they checked.
I for example also dumped my ob with my first pregnancy at 36 weeks because she did not want to honor a reasonable request to birth with out epidural or pain meds, if an emergency arouse I would be willing to accept these. But she told me I had a low pain tolerance and needed epidural so she could not honor my request. I was very hurt and upset and left her even as close as I was to giving birth. I found a doula and different ob that respected my wishes to birth naturally and have given birth twice with out the use of pain medication or epidurals.
I also had to fight with nurse who wanted to force my son to get vaccine shots even after he had had a sever systemic reaction to his 2nd month shots. I lost my blinfolds at this time and realized I had to follow my gut insitnct. I told her I did not want anymore vac's until I did research, she pressured me and basically called me a bad mother but she was truly uninformed. Seemed like she never even read the pamphlets they handed out to their patients regarding the possible side effects. As my son suffered through the reaction (the worst night of my life) all they kept telling him to give him was Tylenol!!!! And little did I know he was going to start convulsing. At the point I trusted them not my new mom instinct GRR!
Also with my dd they told me to keep giving her some eye meds I could see where not helping her. I had to force the issue for someone to see her again before the weekend and also thank goodness because she was developing a sever infection around her cornea.
The above examples are just a breif synopsis of what happened but to answer your question: YES. I will do anything that is my childs best interest even if it means changing docs, asking questions, going up the chain of command until someone truly listens, etc. Like a pp mentioned, we are their mothers - it is our duty to love and protect them, even if a docs ego gets hurt.
My husband and I have a
My husband and I have a tendency to ask a lot of questions, too, and as we've moved around the country, a doctors' willingness to answer us frankly--especially a pediatrician, and especially one who's willing to admit doubt or need to look into something more deeply--always significantly determines our loyalty to him/her.
As a note, my husband and I sometimes do work for the pharmaceutical industry, and have frequently noticed a bias against the kind of human-based messiness that data avoids--people are perceived more as data, and data doesn't question authority. It's an unfortunate cultural quirk, but very real, because it can translate to insensitivity to audience.
I think the best practitioners always remember the humanity at the other end of the science, and don't mind answering questions on that level. They're rare, and valuable, in a healthcare culture plagued by overwork, liability lawsuits, and data-driven uniform solutions.
Personally, I think the entire medical industry would do well to listen more to their messy human "variables!"
I am definitely one of those
I am definitely one of those messy human variables!!! (I like that term!) One of the things that really got my goat was the fact that my doctor was so tied to his "little red book" and wouldn't listen to me telling him that doctors who treat Lyme disease every day do things a bit differently than his red book tells them to do. They have found through experience that they have to treat this disease more aggressively because taking a chance with standard protocols doesn't always work. They take no chances and as one doctor told me, there is no downside to treating the disease early and aggressively right from the beginning. It bothered me that his ego took precedence over finding out from doctors who treat this disease every day what actually happens as opposed to what some book tells him.