Is there any one out there waiting for the birth of their baby - adoption

Going to be first time parents through adoption - we are working with an agency out of state and are waiting to be matched. Hubby and I have been looking into adoption for a longgggggggg time (over 3 years) and are finally contracted with an agency and an attorney. While we wait to be matched (or to get "the call") we have been reading a LOT of great books on open adoption. One of the best books I have read is called "The Open Adoption Experience" which is written for both birth parents and adoptive parents. It offers great insight into both sides of adoption. Another great book is called "Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother". That was a great book - I read it straight through one evening. It validated a lot of thoughts/feelings that I have/had, but also provided a lot of insight. Both books have been incredible resources for us.

We are adopting our first child, so we're not only going through the experience of adoption, but also becoming parents for the first time. At times it is overwhelming, but I think the thoughts/feeling are very similar to many things that first time biological parents experience too, they just aren't dealing with the adoption issues at the same time.

I would LOVE to talk with other people who are going through the adoption experience - especially first time parents.

Yes, I completely understand the waiting part of it. I am in a different situation as we have been placed with someone, and are now on the road to wait for the delivery. We found out in August, and have been going to every doctor appointment and trying to get to know the BM as much as we can. Now that we are getting closer to the due date, I am really starting to stress out a little bit. We have decided not to decorate the room or anything until after she signs away her rights, but it is hard. How long have you been waiting?

We are first time parents too, so we are attending classes at the hospital to try to prepare! Why did you decide to go with an out of state agency? Thank you for the book ideas, I will have to go out and read them!

We didn't have the experience of waiting for our baby to be born -- he was five days old we got our call and picked him up the next day!

We wanted a child for a very long and when he was finally in our arms, we still couldn't believe it. Please feel free to ask any questions and hopefully you can find comfort in our experiences, as different as they may be.

And thanks for the books. I'll have to check them out as well.

Patricia is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com. She and her husband live in Phoenix and are raising a 4-year-old son they adopted as an infant.

I've adopted my children locally and have had a wonderful experience each time. I adopted them through the foster care system which cost me nothing!!! I paid an $800 home study fee that was reimbursed when the adoption was finalized. The training we received was thorough and fun (I actually looked forward to the classes). I made great friends with the people in my training classes and we all formed a great support network for each other. The agency I am working with holds several events throughout the year which gives the kids (and us parents) an opportunity to reconnect and build long lasting friendships. The agency also offers a lot of support for our family and the kids (counseling and other services as needed) both before and after placement. The social worker has really become part of the family and the whole process was so easy.
I was worried about adopting through foster care at first too, but I've had a chance to but the kids are a perfect fit for our family and if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a single thing. A lot of times people do international adoptions thinking that the kids will have fewer problems, but this isn't the case. The kids come from the same situations, but in adoption through the foster care system, you save money and you get a ton of support before and after the child is placed in your home, which I've heard you don't get through international adoptions. I wish everyone the best in their adoption experience and hope it goes as smoothly as ours did.

Hi there, I saw your post asking about if your feelings are "normal" while you are waiting for your BM to give birth. First of all I will say congratulations on this - I know first hand how overwhelming everything can feel. And also congratulations on your upcoming parenthood. I am an adoptive mother and can completely relate to what you are feeling right now. You are so very very excited but so very very tentative at the same time and no one else can really relate except someone else who knows. I will just tell you I wish the best for you and that our adoption was more perfect than I ever imagined - I was so sure it wouldn't be and was surprised and blessed that it was more than I expected. I hope the same for you and wish you peace in the days to come.

Hi

My husband and I have been wanting to be parents for over 5 years! We have not been able to conceive naturally and who know why and if we can. We are okay with that and have always wanted to adopt! We have done the classes, completed our home study and we are waiting. We found 2 siblings we wanted to adopt from Nevada and thought we had a great chance but after all the work, and false hope, we were told a week ago we were not a match and they were going with another family! I do not know if I can be like so many of you and friends of ours that go for so many years and so many rejections. I thought and we were told we had a great chance since we were willing to adopt foster children and a sibling pair. Sadly, that has not been the case and my heart continues to break into many pieces! We cannot afford to adopt privately and all I want is to be a Mum and see my husband be the great Da that I know he is going to be. How do you keep going?

Peace
HB

My brother and his wife have adopted five children from Korea and even with the last child - the wait was be very exciting and exhausting. I think what you're going through is so normal. Congratulations!