My husband and I are going to try and have another baby later on this year, beginning of next. My husband really wants a boy which is understandable since we have 4 girls and 1 boy (two marriages, he has 3 girls, I one of each). Here's the issue, he really liked Garrett and Levi and I hated both of those names so we finally agreed on Nathan. Since I said no to the other two names he wants to give our son (if it's born that way) the middle name of his grandfather which is.....Carol. I don't know what to say to this...I HATE this idea. I know it's a middle name, but seriously, if this gets out, it will embarass any boy. I'm thinking of suggesting that we spell it Carel or Carell instead to disguise it into a different name at least. Any suggestions on this? Or do you think it's completely rude of me to even suggest we respell the name? At this point, I am hoping we have a girl!
"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."
I don't think it's rude to
I don't think it's rude to want to protect your future son from possible harassment due to an unconventional middle name.
What if you use either Garrett or Levi as a middle name?
Either way it's important that you make your position known to your husband so the two of you can hash this out beforehand. The last thing you want is to acquiesce to his wishes and end up resenting him for the rest of your marriage.
It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not.
I have to disagree, a middle
I have to disagree, a middle name is the perfect place to put an odd or unconventional name. And it's a great place to put a family name. Think of how flattered your husband's family will be, most people will just think it's really nice.
Carol isn't that bad, think "Carol O'Connor" (OK, he was Archie Bunker, but you get the idea).
And who is casually going to find out his middle name? How many people know your middle name? I doubt any of our friends can tell me what my son's middle name is, and I don't know the middle name of any of their kids.
In high school, I had a male physics teacher whose first name was Kelly. I never even remember anyone ever commenting about it. And this is in high school, where everybody rags on the teachers behind their backs.
But I think you're putting the cart before the horse here. First, decide if you want to have more kids, then worry about naming them.
I am in the same boat as
I am in the same boat as you. When we were going to have my first child which was a boy my MIL suggested naming him after his grandfather which is Truitt. I was appalled at the thought of my poor child running around with that name so I absolutely refused. Now I am having an issue with my third child to be we are trying to come up with some girl names and the first name my husband came up with is Rhiannin and I don't understand why. The name just does not sound right to me and seems way to complicated. Of course he shot down my name which I think is cute and simple Chloe. So now we just agreed to try to find a name that we both agree on. That is just me though I am not afraid to speak up and he knows that this is a name that they will have to carry the rest of their lives. As for the middle name I still agree, my mom named me after my aunt and I really don't like my middle name she tried to spell it differently to make it unique but I am still embarrased if I have to give out my middle name. I think both are important.
Names are huge for children
Names are huge for children - especially in grade school. I'd go with Carell - its a good disguise. Also congrats on your decision - I recall last week you and your hubby were trying to determine if you wanted to have another child. Awesome - I wish you the best!
LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 9 months and 3 years old.
My husband's name is Bradley
My husband's name is Bradley Lynn. I remember thinking...why did his parents give him a girl's name for a middle name!?! Then I found out, his dad's name is Lynn. OK, so he was named after his dad. I don't think it ever bothered my husband, and most people who knew Brad's middle name also knew where it came from. However, when we got married, we were older, so we didn't put our parents' names on the invites. I wondered if some of my friends were curious when I was marrying Bradley Lynn! For the most part, however, most people don't even know a child's middle name. Good luck on your decision!
Hobbymommy, 38, is a discussion leader from Mesa. She is a happy stay-at-home mommy to a 3-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son.
Just wanted to weigh in...I
Just wanted to weigh in...I have my grandfathers name as my middle name. So, my name is Heather *DEAN*...which some may find really strange. (I can't think of any females named Dean.) But, oddly enough, I love it! It has always been a conversation piece (even as a young child), leading to an explantion that my mom really wanted to honor her father, but didn't have any boys, so I got to the lucky middle name designation! :)
I always won the game when classmates tried to "guess" what the "d" stood for!
I think it's fun to have something differerent. (especially if it's sort of hidden as a middle initial.)
I think changing the
I think changing the spelling is a good compromise or choosing a previous name you did not like as much.
I think it's tough for a boy
I think it's tough for a boy to have a "girly" sounding name. On the flip side, it's OK for girls to have boyish names. Make me think of that Madonna song, "What It Feels Like For A Girl."
Anyway, your gut tells you that. Now it's time to discuss it with your husband. I'd have a conversation about what boys were teased about - ask about names. Maybe he'll get the point. The alternative spelling sounds like a good idea - but some might think it really isn't a family name then.
Good luck with your decision.
I agree with you. If you
I agree with you. If you don't feel comfortable with the middle name, don't use it. My husband's middle name is Boyd. EW. We are having a boy and I refuse to use it. But I make compromises on other suggested middle names that him and his family have.
For your son's sake, please
For your son's sake, please don't use a common girls name. Misspelling it maybe you could use the Grandpa's first name or nick name?
soccermom of a 12 yr old boy and 15 yr old young lady