Did anyone see the Oprah show earlier this week about India surrogacy? Families from all over the world (U.S., England, Holland, etc..) are going to India and trying their luck in surrogacy for around $12K. I guess surrogacy in the U.S. runs around $75-$85K - WOW! Apparently, many couples have had much success in the India program as the guidelines for these surrogate mothers is very strict and they are housed, fed, and monitored all 9 months. These surrogate ladies make around $6K - which is riches in India. This allows them and their families to build homes (out of cement - not huts) and may even allow their children to go to school. One of the criteria for these surrogate ladies is that they must have had 1 living child already. At first I was unsure what to think of this, but then after thinking about it - what a wonderful thing this can be. Couples get to have a child of their own (biologically) and the surrogate ladies get to support their families in ways they'd never imagined. A win-win situation. For those who saw this - what did you think?
Also - they had Martha Stewarts daughter who is around 42 or 43 years old & is trying desperately to conceive. She spends $28K a month on medication a procedures. Wow - if only everyone had those resources!
LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 8 months and 3 years old.
and then again, Maybe the
and then again, Maybe the Lord above has different plans for these people.. There are so many children here in the US that need a loving family to go to..But then again, this is a selfish world, with a me me me attitude.. I think it's pretty pathetic..And we wonder why there are so many health issues going on..
" just my Opinion"
Differentdrum....I am
Differentdrum....I am suprised that you did not chime in on the abstinence vs. sex ed thread that lovemy4 started.....I would have thought you'd have something to say on that subject.....perhaps not....
probably cause I didn't see
probably cause I didn't see it..:P,, I'll have to check it out :)
" just my Opinion"
I have to agree with
I have to agree with differentdrum's comment - sort of.
I can understand the desire to have a child of your own - and I have never had any fertility issues, so I am blessed in that respect. So, I will probably be attacked for saying this, but I have to wonder if people are crossing the line with all of these modern measures and going against nature and God...and perhaps that is why we have so many children with health issues these days, becuase of fertility drugs and unnatural procedures. Again, it is just my opinion, and I don't begrudge anyone that concieves through ivf, etc their happiness, I just have to wonder what the long term effects really are since this is relatively a new science..........
I disapprove of the current trend of adopting foreign children - there are so many kids here in the US that need loving homes, and it seems like many wealthy people in this country would rather emulate the current Hollywood trend of adopting outside the us than help an American child. Perhaps that is because there is less red tape involved in foreign adoption, but that it a crying shame. Just my opinion.
It doesn't sit right with me
It doesn't sit right with me either. It is a shame that women in India can't feed their families in a way that would value and use their other abilities. It's a win for the Americans if they get the healthy baby they want at a bargain price and a win for the Indian woman IF she doesn't have complications and suffer or have qualms about giving up a baby she carried, who will be carried off to a land she doesn't understand by people she doesn't know. The poverty there is devastating. I would probably volunteer if I was there and my family needed it, but it is just a shame when a society is at a point that renting your womb is the best opportunity allowed a woman.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
"babies at a BARGAIN
"babies at a BARGAIN price",, "mothers giving up babies that they CARRIED in THEIR WOMB for 9 months".. How does that sound??? and "It doesn't really matter to ME"... How does that sound?? Shows what this world is coming to,, and how people really care or don't care,, and always looking for a bargain no matter what your buying,, and motive? a me me me motive... I just don't get it!! but this is the World, I'm glad i stand with Morals, Values, Principles and Standards..ANd I'm certainly not afraid to say it..... It's kinda amusing to see people care about how a house is being remodeled, brick or stucco,,, but dont give a d a m about how a child(a real living being would feel)
" just my Opinion"
What are you talking about??
What are you talking about?? I think you just like to find a reason to write how superior you feel.
I was concerned that the MOTHER would be scarred in the process, even if it puts food on her table. If you got the idea I don't care about children you are wrong, I just don't think they are the primary victims here.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
i believe before you edited
i believe before you edited your response you had put" It Doesnt real matter to me" and then you changed it, maybe that's why your a little on the defensive... How would me feeling that this is wrong make me feel superior?? I at a lost at that comment... And yes I do believe the children are the primary victims, they arent asked to brought into this world, much less in this way.. And people who can't afford to have kids or put food on table, shouldnt have kids, either here or wherever..
" just my Opinion"
Nope, I never edited, it was
Nope, I never edited, it was always "It doesn't sit right with me."
But that explains your response better. I'd probably think someone who said "It doesn't matter to me" a bit too alouf too.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
I saw the show and never
I saw the show and never imagined this was happening. Re. Martha Stewart's daughter - poor baby who has this mama - she is so stale.
It appalls me at such
It appalls me at such ignorance. People like this should stay off of sites they know NOTHING about.
If you have never dealt with fertility issues you have no business commenting on the desire for a person to have their own child. You know what it feels like to have life grow inside you and the bond it carries; to question another woman wanting that feeling makes me wonder about what kind of mother they may be.
As far as adoption domestically, I don't know about you all but when you can fork over $25,000 to $30,000 to have a American child then you can speak for those of us who don't have that kind of money. Not to mention to go through the entire process to have the child born, arrive at the hospital to see them and hold them in your arms and within 72 hours have the mother decide she wants to keep her child and you walk away with nothing but a broken heart.
When you all have done your homework come back and have a real discussion.
Disgusted with judgmental people!
But their not carrying the
But their not carrying the child, alas, they don't and will never know what it feels like, so a mother changing her mind? well you said it. she felt it growing inside her and decide not to give the baby up. How can you condemn them for that?
" just my Opinion"
Well, I am appalled that you
Well, I am appalled that you are telling us to stay off of sites we know nothing about.....this website is Arizonamoms.com.....and being that we are Arizona moms, I think we are well qualified to post here. Who are you to tell people they don't have a right to their opinion, or a right to post comments in an open forum such as this?
It is one thing to say you disagree, which you are of course entitled to do , but I will comment honestly on whatever topics I choose and I won't be told where, when, or how to do so.
I agree with you Katy,, she
I agree with you Katy,, she is in for an eye opener if she thinks that we all agree with everything.. We do agree to disagree.. and that is what this site is for "just my opinion"
" just my Opinion"
WASTE OF TIME I came here
WASTE OF TIME
I came here looking for as much information as I could on Surrogacy and India, to learn and and become more educated. Obviously I was misguided as many of you are just a bunch of opinionated, and close minded individuals who cannot stop to consider others desperation or passion for motherhood.
Sad on a site titled Arizona Moms!
I apologize if anyone thought I cared about opinions, or that they differ from mine.
Truly what I meant to say is that it just really saddens me that people feel the need to judge others choices in life when they do not have any experience of their own to base their opinions. I suppose that is what our world is coming to.
Sorry I wasted your time as you with your close minded opinions certainly wasted mine.
Don't worry I won't be back!
Goodbye! and there are
Goodbye! and there are plenty of kids right here, that need a nice warm home, from a caring person who cant have their own child but who is passionate about giving their love to a child, obiously your not one of them.. instead you would pay the $$ and act like you did a good deed to another women in a 3rd world country who would have to do the labor for you.. selfish motives.
" just my Opinion"
My comment is directed to
My comment is directed to those moms who think infertility is in God's hands and that infertile woman like me are crossing the line when we seek cutting-edge technology, like IVF and surrogacy, to have a baby.
Just a few generations ago, religious woman might have condemned many of you modern moms for crossing the line with modern interventions that saved your babies, instead of leaving their life or death in God's hands like the women of generations gone by.
How many of you would have lost your baby if you had not had the benefit of a once cutting-edge medical procedure called cessarian section? How many of you would have lost your baby had you not had the benefit of a once cutting-edge technology called the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit?
We infertile women are just doing the more advanced version of what you mom's have already done: benefit from modern medicine to have babies you might not otherwise have been able to have.
It makes me so mad when I
It makes me so mad when I see comments from moms who say infertile couples are "selfish" for seeking treatments to have a biological child because there are so many children in the U.S. waiting to be adopted.
Why don't YOU adopt these children! Remember the reasons you chose to have a biological child rather than adopt? Don't you think your reasons, on many levels, were selfish? What about YOUR obligations to the unwanted children of the U.S.?
Do you really believe you have more of a God-given right to have a biological child than I do? Many of you would not have your biological child had you not sought cutting-edge medical treatments and interventions. Try to think back to all of the modern medicine you benefited from to have your live, healthy baby.
If God created all things, then he created the medical system you and your little one benefited from. He also created the medical system I will benefit from to have my little one via a surrogate mother.
I have just as much of a right as you do to have a biological child. You have just as much of an obligation as I do to adopt a child.
Hey ladies, Two things, One
Hey ladies,
Two things, One - Different Drum has her own opinions. Her blogs are often inflamatory and she seems to equate upsetting people with making a point. She has radical ideas and states them radically. She is also sure that everyone in this world is selfish. Check her posts it is a common theme.
Second, you may have taken my comment out of context. My problem is not with the idea of surrogacy. I imagine if I couldn't get pregnant I would have considered all options, so I am not judging this one. I have even volunteered to be a surrogate. My comment wasn't against surrogacy, it is against the idea that these poor Indian women have precious few other options than renting their bodies for the business of having someone's baby. The emotional and physical cost is enormous and yet it is being done for bargain prices in a culture where it may not be a choice but a necessity. Unlike many surrogate women here, most of whom do it for the joy of sharing motherhood with others, it seems to me the women there maybe are being used. I was objecting to the possible objectification of these women, not to the surrogacy itself.
So, good luck to both of you in whatever you choose. Those of us who aren't walking in your shoe, cannot know what you know.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
Not everyone, but a lot, and
Not everyone, but a lot, and you don't need to speak for me, I can speak for myself when I feel the need to. And I don't feel I need to comment back on this womens comments, they are her opinion, just as I have mine. I can easily say you like to make excuses, and are wishy washy, strattling (spl?) the fence all the time, just check your post, it's a common theme. .
" just my Opinion"