Grandma has no qualms

Well, I wish my mom was here to tell me that she does or doesnt like the names of my kids.. At least your mom is still alive and like you said, she loves your kids, so what if she doesn't like the name..sometimes moms give unsolicited advice, you will be doing the same thing, when your kids get old.. She has the right to her opinion. What, are you gonna have a family battle over something so trivial?? Treasure the moments you have with her, cause she be gone in a blink of an eye..See the goodness in her heart..and overlook the small things.. Is she dependable, is she there for you at a phone call, is she good to your children? Hopefully someday you will be her age and your kids will over look your annoying ways and see all the good that you have done for them...Neither one of my kids got to meet the most beautiful woman in my life, yet I see in them so much of her..22 years my mom went home to the Lord and I still think of her everyday and Miss her so much. You should consider yourself fortunate and be ashamed of yourself yourself for even writing this about her....

" just my Opinion" LOL

Please accept my sympathy for your loss, differentdrum, but lovemy4 does actually have a real problem here, one that she does need to talk to her mother about.

Tell your mother that you realize that she is not fond of Addison's name, but it is her name, and the discussion is closed. Then every time she brings it up, tell her that you've already discussed it with her, and the matter is closed. Don't waver.

She cannot, under any circumstances, mention that she does not like her name in front of Addison or your other children.

My m-i-l has a mild anxiety disorder, and my son was a premie, and since then, she has tried to find flaw with him. When he was an infant, she was convinced he had epilepsy, which she had completely made up, he's not has so much as a febrile seisure. Then she was sure he was cross-eyed, when he's not. And so on. I finally told her that he was perfect until I told her otherwise, and that she couldn't mention any concerns she had in front of him anymore. And she's been keeping that stuff to herself ever since.

Tell grandma to mind her manners and keep her unsolicited opinions to herself. If she can't say anything nice, then she should say nothing at all. Tell her that you worry that Addison won't be old enough for years to understand the distinction between loving her and not loving her name, and she will grow up thinking that grandma doesn't care for either her or her name. That should seal her lips.

Thanks for the understanding and advice. Differentdrum, thanks for the reminder that if this is my biggest problem with her I have a lot to be thankful for. And I do, and I am. But you can love and appreciate someone and still wish they 'd respect your choices. It makes me feel bad. It's not like we didn't have enough on our plate just having twins and needing to come up with 2 names. We just didn't need this too. My biggest worry is that she won't learn to drop it before my daughter learns someone doesn't like her name, or my other children hear her and make sure Addi knows later what Grandma thinks. (It may be too late for that already.) I've asked her to drop it and I wish she would. Anyone else know what I mean?

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

My mother did the same thing when I was pregnant both times. My first is Kelly Anne and she thought it was a boy's name. My 2nd is Skylar Marie - she flipped out about Marie and said it was a catholic OLD name and Skylar is a name that she would be picked on later in her life. MY GOSH! I had rounds and rounds of arguments with her and she finally gave in. She was upset because I didn't want to name one after her. I never told her this as I just couldn't bring forth the reason why I don't want to use her middle name - It is because her mom, mom, and my sister have the same middle name and they all are a mental case. To me, it's a bad omen. I love them all but golly, I had to draw the line there....

You see, my husband, the girls' daddy, almost died last year from post op septic shock. Doctors didn't think he was going to make it through after multiple organ failures which all miraclously recovered later down the road. During 4 months of dealing with doctors, going back and forth hospital, being the medical power of attorney making life or death decisions, work, and taking the brute of my 1 and half year daughter temper tantrums (she missed her daddy so much and I wasn't around enough for her) this name Skylar came up in one of my dream. I looked it up and it means "eternal life, strength, love and beauty". When he finally came out of coma and was transferred to rehab, I asked him if he could come up with a middle name for Skylar which he broke into tears when he first heard the meaning of it. He came up with Marie - that sounds similar to his mom's maiden name - Moree. It stayed ever since. When my mom heard anyone's response after hearing Skylar Marie, they weren't of Oh how cute blah blah blah responses, they were of nice warm surprises with sincere comments like "that is one of the most beautiful names I have ever heard of"...Mom finally clammed up...I haven't heard anything negative out of her mouth since.

I would just let it go...once day it will catch up with her and she will find out in the hard way...do stay on your grounds, thou :)

H~
Mom of 2 Daughters - Kelly (3 yrs) and Skylar (21 mos old)
zoostationu2@hotmail.com

Many family members always have an opinion (whether it be auntie, grandma, grandpa,etc). I think just nicely telling them 'thank you for your concern, but it was a personal choice between my significant other and I and we hope you would respect that." Using a nice friendly tone with a big smile helps. We cant always make everyone happy when it comes to naming, raising, making choices for our children. However, I"m a firm believer that we (as parents) do the best we can at the time we make these choices or decisions for our children. We do what we think is in their (childs) best interest and really thats the best we can do.

LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 9 months and 3 years old.

I have to jump in here bacause I have 3 year old named Addison Kaia and it is a beautiful name. There are countless things about others that may not be our first choice but we don't rush to point them out. Sometimes a name might sound different or unusual but as the child grows they become their name. Having said that if she loves your child she should love the name. You did not do addison/madison did you?

Ok I admit now I am being anal about it. HOWEVER the social security administration keeps track of all baby names in the US and for 2006 Addison was 26th in popularity out of 1000 names. #1 was emily again but it proves there are more than just the two of us that like the name. Sorry I will let it go now. :)

I think you handled the situation very well. A friend of mine learned her lesson with her first child (no one liked his name). With her second child, she refused to tell anyone except a select few the baby's name. Those she did tell, she specifically made them promise not to comment if they didn't like the name or she wouldn't tell. It was highly effective. By the time baby no. 2 arrived, everyone was so eager to learn the name and love the baby that no one had time to comment on whether they liked it or not. Maybe sharing the name in advance gives people too much time to think about the name and offer their 2 cents...though I didn't learn from my friend. As soon as we selected the name, we told everyone... I didn't pay attention if there were any critics, but in fairness, my mom was very supportive. Hope this helps!

I'd ask her to keep her thoughts to herself. She has had the chance to name her own children and it is your turn now. Ask her to call her granddaughter "sweetie, honey" or the like if she can't come to grips with reality in your house.

soccermom of a 12 yr old boy and 15 yr old young lady