What to you do about mom friends who constantly brag about their kids? I have a friend who constantly talks about how smart & athletic her kids are - to the point I almost don't want to talk to her. I rarely talk about my kids because she brings the conversation back to her own kids. She's been a friend for a number of years - should I politely tell her how annoying her bragging is? I'm sure this must bother her other friends (I can't imagine I'm the only one she brags to). How should I handle this?
Lattemom is the mother of three energetic kids ages 6, 8 & 12 and a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com.
I know someone like that and
I know someone like that and I don't necessarily enjoy it but I listen to her say a couple of things then ask her something not kid related. No matter how much you want to tell her it's annoying for her to brag about her kids, how in the world do you do that without offending someone??? By telling her it annoys you, you risk damaging a friendship. Is that really worth it???
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I have a friend like this
I have a friend like this too...except she doesn't stop at her kids.....she just owns the conversation.I have known her for...a very long time.I beleive in saying the truth.Friendship are built on honesty........
However......I tried to be honest with my friend she wasn't upset she said she didn't realize she did that.Easy....not really!
Some people are just like that. I swear she calls me just to hear herself talk out loud....sound familiar?
I have in the past pointed it out to her but to no avail...it hasn't stop.I even said something shocking that I pretended to do...just to see, she didn't hear a word I said. So after that I had to refind our friendship and that has to start with me ( you)...what I did was set limits on how long I talk to her and how many days of the week I will talk to her.I often email her instead durning the week and usually talk with her on saturday, with a set limit.I love her dearly and don't want to stress upon our relationship so I had to set guide lines with in myself. And so far it has worked out pretty good.
You need to decide how much
You need to decide how much her friendship means to you. I'm not saying we should cut off anyone who annoys us, but if your relationship isn't give and take, it may not be worth the energy. Otherwise, you can put up with it, or you can mention it to her and hope for the best! When I've come across moms like that, they are usually trying to hide the fact that they are very insecure. Sometimes, they stop the bragging once you get to know them better, so maybe she'll get better with time. Good luck!
Hobbymommy, 38, is a discussion leader from Mesa. She is a happy stay-at-home mommy to a 3-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son.
if she has been a firend for
if she has been a firend for several years then she needs to hear it form you. just tell her that you would like to talk about other grown up thigs and that you are telling her becaue it bothers everybody else and she may not realize it. that is what good friends are for. to tell you when you are messing up.
This is a common "mommy
This is a common "mommy trap". I think changing the subject is a great idea. You could also suggest that you want to talk about something other than kids. I would be careful about confronting her unless you know her really well and know she thinks a lot of your opinion.
Some personality types lend themselves to this type of behavior. Usually they are outgoing people who love to be the center of attention. They are great to invite to parties because they view most everyone as a friend. They don't always make great friends unless you have patience for that.
I love the book Personality Plus. It talks about the personality types, their good and bad sides, and even has a self test for you determine your type. It's quite interesting and very funny at times. It gives you great understanding how to deal with others and understand why they do the things they do!
Good Luck!
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Thanks so much for all the
Thanks so much for all the input. She has been a friend for a long time (over 10 years) and I hate to just end it over this. I'll try to come up with a tactful way of telling her how irritating her bragging is. But I also like the idea putting a time limit on our phone calls. I'll let you know what works.
Lattemom is the mother of three energetic kids ages 6, 8 & 12 and a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com.