What do you say on Mother's Day?

I think I would call / visit her and say, "I know this must be a rough day for you, and I thought maybe you could use a friend." Then take your cue from her.

She might want to talk about her child and share happy memories, or just to have someone hold her while she cries, or she might just say, "thanks but I think I just want to spend the day alone."

In any case, it will mean so much to her to know she's NOT alone and that someone is there for her. That in itself will help her immensely. You're a good friend indeed to be that person for her.

I think you should acknowledge it as well. I'm not sure how close the two of you are, but if she's local, take her to lunch or for a pedicure. If she's not local, a phone call or "thinking of you" card would be a nice gesture.

I agree. My high school boyfriend passed away on Mother's Day a couple of years ago only to be found by his mother. Eventhough I am married with a family of my own, I find that it is the right thing to do to call and talk with her that day every year. She has a daughter, but no grandchildren yet, so she really appreciates that I keep in contact with her all year. She really adores my son.

It's a brave person who can make the approach because you never know what kind of response you might get.

I believe you can say something like "Happy Mother's Day, you'll always be (child's name)'s best Mother." And that is simply the truth.

Extending your caring thoughts on this day is all you really can do. Just let your friend know you care and that you are there for her.

It brings tears to my eyes just thinking of a mom that lost her only child. We only plan on having our one son, and I know how he is just the world to us. I asked my husband what he would want to hear on Fathers Day if our only child passed away. He said that it would be just another day. It wouldn't be Fathers Day to him anymore.
Myself, I don't know who I would want to talk to or hear from if my only child had passed. I guess it depends on how long it has been since she lost her child. If it was me that lost an only child, I may even visit the gravesite and spend a quiet day by myself. If someone wanted to talk to me before Mothers Day, that may be more acceptable.

One Happy Mom in Arizona.