My husband and I need a date night. I swear it's been a year since we actually had a date. We've gone to special events (my work Christmas party, a friend's birthday), but we rarely have a night out alone. I think the last time we did was our 16th wedding anniversary last year. We ran out to a movie. We never made dinner. We opened presents in the car. I know, that's bad!!
It's amazing too, considering we went 16 years without having children. We were so free. We went out to dinner, went to movies, and took lots of trips. You would think that would make us crave outings more. But, since we had kids, we barely think of alone time.
There are a few reasons. First, I hate leaving my kids. They're a lot o fun. I also feel guilty if I leave them. I don't know why I think they will love me less or will explode if I go somewhere for a couple hours. I know that's not really the case. I guess the weekends are all about the kids.
I also have a hard time asking people to babysit. My mom already watches them during the week. My other family members have their own lives too.
Finally, I'm tired. I do have a 6 month old who is teething and a 2 and half year old who is potty training. I'm working on a few hours a night!
Despite all of this, I think it's time we at least start to try and make a date! My husband is a great dad, but he's also a great husband. I think we need to remember that. I don't think we need it once a week, but at least once a month. I think it will be good for the kids. They need to see that Mom and Dad are a team that love eachother. I'm going to try this week. We're going to a movie preview of a comedy and out to dinner too. It's not that dramatic, but it will do! I'm looking forward to it.
Destry Jetton
Host, Arizona Midday
Weekdays 1:00pm on Channel 12
We do date night about once
We do date night about once or twice a month. I love it! I love my husband and I miss the 1 on 1 time with him without the T.V., kids, phone, and other distractions. Last night is a perfect example, we were home all night together, but literally on spent about 1/2 hour with each other 1 on 1.
I'm a person who thinks that quality time with your other half makes the marriage stronger, longer, and healthier. It can be a short as 15 minutes or as long as a vacation together, but the point is to focus on each other and reconnect.
I know you may feel guilty (I still feel guilty and my youngest is 7), but your husband and you need that same attention on each other you give you little ones individually. Maybe ask a a sitter to come over after the little ones go to sleep one night and sneak out for a quick reverse happy hour, ice cream, or coffee (if you can drink that late!) and spend just an hour with each other.
"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."
One my my moms said that she
One my my moms said that she and her husband went horse back riding for 3 hours without the 3 kids. They have 2 teenagers and a 23 month old. I have one mom that took her husband to Las Vegas without their 22 month old, but called her mother from Oregon to come babysit. I just haven't been able to leave my 17 month old son with anyone except my mom. She lives in Texas. I guess after waiting 36 years for him, my husband and I are just so happy to take him with us, or we don't go. But I agree with you. I heard a preacher one Sunday preaching about this. He said that we may be committed, but not connected, and this is why we must make that special time for mom and dad.
One Happy Mom in Arizona.
Date night's sound like fun.
Date night's sound like fun. I only wish my husband was just as excited about it as me.. I suppose it's not him.. I should have known this. It's funny how people change once your married.
Women are definitely more
Women are definitely more romantic, but sometimes you just have to plan it and go through with it. The mom that took her husband to Las Vegas didn't tell him where they were going until it was time to pack. Usually, if I plan something, my husband agrees with it. Start with something small. Bring it out of him. Men sure won't do it unless we require it. Remember, if you don't ask, you don't get it. The preacher said also, the longer we are married, the harder it is to make time for each other. You are not alone, but start working on your husband for ideas. I am always putting ideas in my husbands mind where I want to visit one day.
One Happy Mom in Arizona.
Good for you! I think as
Good for you! I think as parents we have children and forget about dating (I know we did that initially with our first son.) We waited several years too to have kids and I still recall that free spirit of just packing a bag for the weekend & jumping in the car or on an airplane - anywhere together. How those days are long gone - but that's okay - I like where we are in life now - enjoying our kids. I agree it is very important for spouses to have alone time. After our first son was born my hubby and I decided to have a date night at least once a month. We have been doing so for 3 years now. Of course we had to stop for a few months when I had our second child - but now he is 4.5 months old and grandma loves to watch the boys for us for a few hours every so often. I honestly think that a healthy mom (both physically and mentally) is a happy mom. Doing things together as a couple its also good modeling for showing the kids what a mommy and daddy should have together in a healthy relationship - dating time.
LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 9 months and 3 years old.
We talk about teaching our
We talk about teaching our children by example. What a better way than to show them that Mommy and Daddy love each other and enjoy themselves. Yes, it can be done and is done, with children present, but it makes it seem more special if the children are not present. If Mom and Dad have a great relationship, then everything else falls into place.
There were times in the beginning of having of children, that it seemed awkward to not have the children around. Like, what are we going to talk about, do.... Now though, we have found ourselves and enjoy just being together. When the girls are in bed and we are watching TV, I sit with him on the couch so we are at least touching. Maybe it is his feet, while he is reclined but hey, it is a start :)
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
I totally agree with your
I totally agree with your comment. I want my kids to know that in order for a marriage to work you have to be committed and connected. My kids have seen me go through a bad relationship (and a divorce when they were younger) so I hope that my husband and I show them the good and the bad and how to deal with both to make our marriage stronger each day. I don't feel bad that we skip out for a dinner out in that sense...I feel like it shows my kids that we love each other still very much and we sneak out for some quality time with just us so we can stay strong!
"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."
My husband and I don't have
My husband and I don't have as many date nights as we should. Once you pay for the babysitter & dinner it can add up to $100 (which is beyond our budget!). Even so, we try to manage something every month or two. If we can't get out, I'll try to have a romantic dinner for just the two of us at home. For example, on a Friday night, I'll feed the kids early, get them ready for bed and pop a movie in for them to watch so we'll have a little time to talk with no interruptions (hopefully). It's so nice to reconnect with him. Date nights aren't just great for the two of you, but benefit the kids, too. A stronger marriage makes a stronger family.
Lattemom is the mother of three energetic kids ages 6, 8 & 12 and a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com.
I agree with all of the
I agree with all of the above! The funny thing is, I told my husband about the movie, and he's almost as excited as I am. I think he's just been waiting patiently until I'm ready. I still get sad thinking about leaving my babies, but I know it's a good thing!
Destry Jetton
Host, Arizona Midday
Weekdays 1:00pm on Channel 12