Does this sound right are wrong, well my husband has two other children besides are two.. and well when i had my son & daughter my husband's mother never wanted anything to do with my kids due to the fact that she always thought he should of been with his first kids mom. She never cared to buy them anything, she never cared to see them, basiclly she don't treat them the same as his other two kids, which I have to admit it kinda bothers me alot, I would always bring it to my husband attention but I guess their all his kids and thats his mother that he never wanted to see it. And now that my son is 18 months and my daughter is 6 months she is trying to be a part of thieir lifes a little more then she did. But trearting my babies like that from the begin I really don't think that I want her in their lifes at all..... What do you think is right????
Mrs.Duran
I think that for your
I think that for your children's sake, you should put aside any grudges that you hold and let her be a part of their life. Forgive her for the past transgressions and let her be a part of their life for their sake.
I agree. I can understand
I agree. I can understand your anger, but we all make mistakes. It sounds like your mother in law was angry about losing a daughter in law she liked enough to blind herself to what she had gained. However it sounds like she's grown up and woken up. Give her a chance. It's be unfair to alienate the children's grandparent at what is really their expense.
Btw she was wrong, now it's your chance to do what's right.
I understand your anger with
I understand your anger with your MIL! She may never treat your children the same as she does her other grandchildren. Despite that, I think you need to think of it from the perspective of what is best for your children. Grandparents can enrich our childrens lives. If you think your children will be better off having your MIL in their lives, then you should do all you can to make that happen. If she's making the effort now, I think you should open the door to her and give her a chance. She is always going to be a part of your husband's life. I think you want to teach your children how to have healthy relationships. If you try to keep them apart from their grandmother, your children may even feel conflicted between your desires and your MIL, and maybe even your husbands - after all, you said he doesn't see this the same way that you do. Good luck with whatever you decide!
I totally agree with the
I totally agree with the first two comments. Everyone makes mistakes (even really big ones) and such a person deserves the chance to make it "right," especially since it will be good for your children as well.
Chris Marsh--mother, teacher, runner, coach....
I'm on the same page as the
I'm on the same page as the previous posters. You may harbor some hurt feelings toward your MIL on behalf of your children, but not allowing her to be involved in their lives is a mistake. A relationship with a grandparent can be so important to a child and if she's making the attempt it is your duty as their mother to encourage that relationship.
I think that it must be an
I think that it must be an adjustment for your mother-in-law to accept another wife, on top of that, she has to accept kids other than from his first wife.
Family is so important, and grandmas are very very important in a childs life. I think you need to put a cap on your feelings and do it for your kids.
It hurts your feelings I know, but put yourself in your mother-in-laws shoes. It has taken her this long to accept that her son has a new family. If you go to church, then you know we have to let it roll off of us and move forward. If you ever want to be forgiven, you must forgive her.
I just hate it when kids are torn between these adult conflicts, because guess who gets hurt? Its never the adults.
One Happy Mom in Arizona.
I don't blame you fr being
I don't blame you fr being mad - but you have to put your personal beef with her aside and think of what's best for the children in the long run - the more relationships they can have with loving family members the better. She obviously realizes that she made a mistake and has softened a bit....so let her be a grandma. She may never really accept you - to a certain extent I feel as if all my in-laws tolerate my presence, but they have never really understood me as a person, and if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow they probably wouldn't miss me that much - but I know how much they adore my son, and I am very thankful for that.
On the flip side, your
On the flip side, your mother-in-law could have never attempted to get close to your kids at all and you'd end up feeling resentful for a long, long time. At least now she's changing a little, and who knows -- maybe she'll come around completely and start warming up to you as well, or at least treating you better.
DesertMom
http://ppdsurvivor.blogspot.com
I think kids need as many
I think kids need as many caring adults in their lives as possible, and your kids are young enough not to have noticed any past misdeeds on their grandmother's part. I'd give her a second chance, but if you see the favoritism start up again, I'd point it out to her, though you likely won't have to deal with it anymore since she'll be so in love with your kids after spending time with them!
Karina Bland is raising her 9-year-old son in Tempe with a lot of love, humor and support from her friends and family. A longtime journalist covering child welfare and education issues for The Arizona Republic, she blogs about raising good kids.
I don't think that it is
I don't think that it is fair to your children what their own grandmother was doing to them but like all have said you cannot keep the kids away from their grandmother. I have the same issue where my in-laws pay more attention to the his "other" kids that is bothers me for a bit but my family is so loving and caring that I really don't dwell on it. Of course when the in-laws decide to call or visit I don't keep the kids from them but I do let them enjoy their time with them even though it may bother me but it only lasts a few hours or minutes. I say just be neutral with the MIL even though the two of you may have beef with one another. Life is too short to dwell on something for too long.
Your MIL went through
Your MIL went through adjustment!
This is what I think personally. She may having hard time in adjusting. She got used to another mom and kids before you. She may not want to hurt your feelings but as humas as she is; she did. I can see now that she is trying her best to treat your kids as she did to the first wife's kids.
Give her time and chance to love your babies! After all, she is you kids' grandmother, no matter what!
Grudges won't get anyone anywhere!
Be happy and don't stress!
and above all, stay BEAUTIFUL!
Have a beautiful day!
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http://my2.tupperware.com/tomkinrc
http://bizemoms.com
Your MIL went through
Your MIL went through adjustment!
This is what I think personally. She may having hard time in adjusting. She got used to another mom and kids before you. She may not want to hurt your feelings but as humas as she is; she did. I can see now that she is trying her best to treat your kids as she did to the first wife's kids.
Give her time and chance to love your babies! After all, she is you kids' grandmother, no matter what!
Grudges won't get anyone anywhere!
Be happy and don't stress!
and above all, stay BEAUTIFUL!
Have a beautiful day!
-------------------------------------------------------
http://my2.tupperware.com/tomkinrc
http://bizemoms.com