A new study from the University of Michigan found that the average woman with 3 or more children does an average of 28 hours of housework a week that does not include regular childcare.
And having a husband causes an additional 7 hours of weekly housework for women. How can this be, ladies?? I guess having a husband is the same as having just another child.
Interestingly enough, the study also showed that boyfriends tend to do more housework than husbands. I think we all need boyfriends!!
Anyone else out there think this whole imbalance in housework is totally unfair???? And what about those of us who work just as many hours outside the home as our hubbies and yet do way more around the house?
DesertMom
http://ppdsurvivor.blogspot.com
Wow!! I am a SAHM and I
Wow!! I am a SAHM and I swear i don't do 28 hours of house work each week. I can't let my husband see this study! LOL!! ;0)
In addition to caring for my daughter, i do some grocery shopping (which i like doing during the week w/ out my husband.), wash a few loads of laundry (maybe 7 max a week and don't always get around to folding it right away) and empty the clean dishes from the dishwasher. Other than that, we clean on the weekends together.
I'm feeling a little guilty now.
just~me
I believe it! As much as I
I believe it! As much as I love my DH, he has completely forgotten all his housework skills since we got married! I tease him about it, because suddenly if he runs out of underwear, it's my fault! lol I am a SAHM, so we did agree I would do the housework, but he could at least pick up his socks! :-) Good thing I do get to squeeze a nap in once in awhile!
Hobbymommy, 38, is a discussion leader from Mesa. She is a happy stay-at-home mommy to a 3-year-old daughter and a 1-year-old son.
That's the thing, though....
That's the thing, though.... you're a SAHM, and yet you're doing all the housework it sounds like.
I was a SAHM for 12 years, with three kids, and like you I did the housework because we decided that was "fair." But when you look at all a typical SAHM does in simply raising the kids every day, she's putting in 60+ hour weeks just doing that (not to mention the fact she's not paid for all this work), and yet a lot of us just accept doing the housework as well, which according to this study is another nearly 30 hours per week.
Now that I'm divorced, my work load around the house is way, way less than what I used to do when I had a husband. There's something so wrong with this! (Or maybe I've finally got it right now...)
DesertMom
http://ppdsurvivor.blogspot.com
Wow, I would have to agree
Wow, I would have to agree with this study. Somehow we ended up with me pretty much doing it all and he takes care of the outside. Well, that is not an everyday thing. I would have to say along with him being able to pick up his socks, the underwear is a very close second.
There are times when he is laying on the couch searching the TV stations and I am doing laundry, filling up the girls humidifier, getting them ready for bed. Yes, he helps, sometimes in the routine of getting the girls ready for bed, but more times not. I have so many shows of Medium recorded and I haven't have the chance to watch them.
I sometimes get upset about it, but more times I am not. This time will only last so long and then we are into another stage. It all gets done and he does jump in or else I pull him in... :)
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
I had a tantrum liken to a
I had a tantrum liken to a nuclear meltdown last week over this subject. I work out of the home running a screen printing business. It is a one-woman show so house work often takes a back seat. My husband works equally as hard. When it comes to housework, I told my family I have no problem in cleaning - I actually like cleaning, but picking up after people bothers me to no end. All I ask is they put away what they had gotten out. I'm thinking of confiscating everyones stuff and when they miss it, maybe it will make a difference in their habits.
sure, fine, whatever
I just don't know how they
I just don't know how they can accurately gauge something as individual as a propensity to do housework. My husband was raised in a ranch/farm atmosphere, and dirt was just a part of life, so he doesn't really notice it. On the other hand, my mom cleaned the entire house EVERY DAY. We had a spotless home even with 4 kids. She easily spent 28 hours a week. Me, not so crazy about the housework. Maybe I spend 5 hours a week in fits and starts, mostly because the baby threw oatmeal on the wall or the laundry pile is about to hit the ceiling. I seriously question this study (although I admit I have not read it, only the summary) and wonder what is really behind it.
Susan & Neil Hampton have three spectacular children, Alexander, Isabel and David, plus one amazing teenager, Eric. Susan does community outreach for arizonamoms.com.
“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” - Margaret Atwood
I can see those facts very
I can see those facts very accurately. Although my hubby is very helpful - he'll toss in a load of laundry in the washer every so often. I am still the one to maintain the home. Especially the dishes - they only get washed by me. Thank heavens for dishwashers - huh! I think SAHM do a lot, but then we do stay home, so it kinda makes sense. It is not easy by any means - especially because sometimes one can feel like they never leave their 'work place'. However, we do get the luxury of spending more quality time with our kids, going on playdates, joining other moms groups, etc. So I guess it all evens out...there will always be housework (SAHM or not) so I dont worry to much about it.
LisaMommy is a discussion leader in Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area for arizonamoms.com. Her two boys are ages 5 months and 3 years old.
I totally agree.. though my
I totally agree.. though my husband will do laundry on the wkend he has never cleaned. He may put all the dinner plates (not rinsed iff) in the sink and toss soem trash away and say he cleaned the kitchen. He will even say it a few times just to make sure I hear him, It's gets on my nerves b/c that's not cleaning.. that's moving dirty stuff to a different place, which I think causes me more work b/c I have to dig out nasty dirty plates from the sink and it is a mess. It is like having another kid for sure..
Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children, Joshua 12, Brooke 2 and Mason 10 months
There's a woman I know in an
There's a woman I know in an exercise class I go to who shared with me that there was a time a couple of years ago when she gave up on the dishes because none of her teenage kids or husband would help. So she just let them pile up in and around the sink and then when they completely ran out of clean dishes, she bought paper plates and used those until the family finally started pitching in.
You think you'd ever try something like that?
DesertMom
http://ppdsurvivor.blogspot.com
Help! I'm at a dead end. I
Help! I'm at a dead end. I got into another fight about the mess in the house with hubby. The house is in livable conditions but he doesn't think so. I'm a SAHM with a 6 month old baby. I have no family or friends in AZ. Baby wakes me 3-4 times a night and I try to do it all. However, hubby works REALLY hard to support us so I feel bad. But then he comes home and plays with his remote-controlled car. Is that acceptable?
So if your husband thinks
So if your husband thinks the house is not in a livable condition, then why the heck is he playing with his toy car when he gets home??
Yes, I get that he works REALLY hard, but you also work REALLY hard all day long. In fact I guarantee that whatever he does for his day job is nothing compared to the demands of caring for a 6-month-old.
I really feel for you -- it's hard enough taking care of an infant, let alone not being on the same page as your husband about a domestic issue that can seem really overwhelming at times.
Have you tried talking with him and letting him know how difficult it is to take care of a baby AND a house? Maybe if he took over for a whole weekend or something, he'd get the picture.
DesertMom
http://ppdsurvivor.blogspot.com
Good advice. That's funny.
Good advice.
That's funny. I left my hubby for about two hours with our daughter so I could meet up with an old friend. He had all these things he planned on doing while parenting her. lol...I got back and he told me she wouldn't let him do anything! Now do you see why the house is not spotless? I'm lucky if I cook us a dinner.
PS.: Still not sure if he got the "full" picture so I booked a trip to 'Vegas baby!' for the whoooooole weekend.
Guess I got lucky... I have
Guess I got lucky...
I have been married for five years now and I can honestly say we are totally equal. I am a stay at home mom, I watch a couple kids in my home to add a little income. My husband works outside the home bringing in the majority of the "beef" and is amazing at helping around the house and with the kids..He's even more tedious about cleaning the little corners than i am. He feels having a job is five days a week..eight hours a day while being a parent and home keeper is 24/7. Since we are in it together he picks up any slack when he gets home and we both enjoy night relaxing together, after the kids are asleep.