Moving away from grown children

I plan to stalk my kids when they are grown, following them where ever they move! I can't imagine not seeing them almost every day and being involved with my grandkids daily lives. BUT, my kids are only 5 and 8, so I haven't lived through the teen years yet! I'm assuming that my feelings will change! Good luck with your decision!

"Only a life lived for others, is the life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein

Hi I moved from Maple Grove, MN about a year ago. My kids are 23 and 20. I guilted them into coming with me. We bought a house with 4 bedrooms and I pictured they would live with me for at least a year. But they didn't. They moved one at a time out to apartments here in the valley. I see them once every 3 weeks. It is not perfect but I am making it work. I miss my sister a lot though. I have gone back 3 times and she has come here 3 times. She was here for Christmas. I have reservations to go in August. I will always consider MN home. I like to go see my friends and family. It is only a plane ride home.

My parents did this and my brother moved about a year later to be closer to them. Now he lives literally down the street.

So maybe your kids will follow you out.

Don't feel guilty, you've raised them, they are responsible for themselves now. Guilt shouldn't be your emotion, melancholy, nervousness about the change, excitement make more sense to me. You should follow your dream. With texting, e-mail, etc. etc. you'll get by until you see them face to face.

I'll bet they visit at least every winter! And ultimately if you discover you can't live that far from them. You can move back, knowing you gave your dream a chance and having no regrets! Push that guilt away and decide if this is really truly your dream, if it is make sure they know your address, phone and e-mail and that the door is ALWAYS open and start packing!

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

Don't feel guilty about it - you have raised your boys and now your life can be about you again......it doesn't mean you can't be involved with them, but you have to do what makes you happy. My mom lives in Kentucky....she lives on a fixed income and her dollars go much further there....and she's in the country where the pace of life is slower, so she's calmer....I miss her but I know why it's better for her to be there.
My son is only 8....and sometimes we talk about what the future holds for him, college, travel,a family of his own.....and once his eyes welled up with tears because he realized there will be a point where we won't share the same home....I got teary too, but I told him there will come a day where he'll begin life as an independant man and will make his own way......and even though we may find ourseleves separated by distance at some point in our lives, my love will be with him for all times.
You never know...your boys may visit you here and decide to follow!

What's motherhood without a little guilt???? I think we'll always feel guilty about things throughout their lives! I can imagine the turmoil you must be going through as I would feel the same thing in your position. However...think how lucky you are to feel like you can leave your children. At their ages, to be able to leave and know they can handle their lives on their own is a real blessing. Obviously you have raised them right and you should be proud of yourself and them.

I hope you love it here and I hope you find the freedom uplifting and life-affirming! I, too, bet your kids will end up here eventually, especially after visiting you a few times in the winter!! Let us know when you get here and how the move went. We look forward to hearing from you!

The AZMoms

im a mom of two they are just kids now but for some reason have thought that far ahead of when they'll move away, can't even imagine being away from them, but understand that's part of life... im glad for you that you are about to accomplish one of your dreams as a person taking into consideration that as soon as we become mothers we automatically start giving up stuff for our kids like money or depriving ourselves of time for ourselves, our friends, our careers, and so many other things, so go ahead put aside the guilt, and be happy!! xoxo

xoxo